was the wrong thing
to say. She knew it as soon as he grimaced. “Just because something isn’t a
lie, doesn’t mean it’s wholly true either. The truth is a spectrum of color,
not black and white. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. Yeah, totally.” But
when his brows pulled together, she knew he’d heard the lie and she gave a
self-deprecating huff of laughter. “No. Sorry.” She had no freaking idea what a
spectrum of color had to do with him being in love with Kim Carruthers. God, he
was probably trying to tell her he still loved her.
Mirage hoped he would
explain, tell her he hadn’t really loved Kim, that he’d always secretly been
drawn to waifish girls with black hair, but he just gave a small shake of his
head. “It isn’t important. Are you feeling better?”
Ah. So they were
getting back on doctor-patient footing again, was that it? Things must’ve been
getting too personal for Captain Justice. “As better as I can be as a zombie
girl who isn’t in control of her own brain anymore.”
“You aren’t a zombie. I’ve
never once heard you say you hunger for brains.”
Mirage grimaced at the
half-assed joke. “I just wish I could be sure which thoughts were mine and
which weren’t. I don’t even know if there was some kind of booby-trap or if I
was the one who booted you out of my head.”
“You think you could
have put that barrier in?”
Mirage closed her eyes,
pressing once more against the walls of her mind. “I don’t know. It feels like me. But even if I did it, was it me doing it? Or Kevin’s version of me?”
“Kevin’s version?”
“His voice in my head
always sounded like my voice. And now I can’t stop hearing it. My father…” She
hesitated, feeling strange about speaking about her father with a hero, like
she was betraying him somehow, but the man beside her didn’t look like an
avenging super. He looked like Julian. Handsome. Open. Listening. And there
were things she needed to say. Things she hadn’t been able to say, even to
Lucien.
“My father could force
me to do things, but I always knew it was outside compulsion. I never lost that
awareness, that part of myself. Kevin was like a disease—microscopic,
replicating inside my brain, visible only in the symptoms, until I was so
saturated with him it was like trying to think through a fever of a hundred and
four while my brain boiled.”
“Your father used
compulsion on you?”
Mirage sighed. Trust a
hero to fixate on the first tree he came to and miss the forest entirely. “He
didn’t mean to. He was powerful, could make you dance like a puppet if he
wanted to, but he never did. Most of the time he hated his powers. He preferred
science. Cool rationality. But everyone loses control sometimes.” A hero who
accidentally demolished a building when first coming into superstrength was
instantly forgiven, but a Mind Bender who accidentally activates his powers
even once was instantly tarred a villain. How was that justice? “Didn’t you
ever wonder how a hero was able to capture him in the first place? How do you
capture someone who can bend your mind to force you to his will unless he is intentionally restraining his powers?”
“He escaped, didn’t he?
How could he be still at large if he never used his powers?”
“I didn’t say he never used them. I said he only did it when upset. He didn’t react well to being
wrongfully convicted. Or the attempts to recapture him.”
“Wrongfully?”
“Show me a Mind Bender
who ever got a fair trial.”
“It’s impossible. They
could manipulate the jury.”
“So our rights don’t
matter?”
“ Our ? You put
yourself in the same category as your father?”
“Imprisoned without a
trial? Yes. I’d say we’re in the same category.”
“And yet you both
escaped your prisons.”
“Is that supposed to
justify it?”
“I met you inside a
bank vault. Protestations of innocence are a bit hard to swallow.”
“I never said I was
innocent. I have no problem
to say. She knew it as soon as he grimaced. “Just because something isn’t a
lie, doesn’t mean it’s wholly true either. The truth is a spectrum of color,
not black and white. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. Yeah, totally.” But
when his brows pulled together, she knew he’d heard the lie and she gave a
self-deprecating huff of laughter. “No. Sorry.” She had no freaking idea what a
spectrum of color had to do with him being in love with Kim Carruthers. God, he
was probably trying to tell her he still loved her.
Mirage hoped he would
explain, tell her he hadn’t really loved Kim, that he’d always secretly been
drawn to waifish girls with black hair, but he just gave a small shake of his
head. “It isn’t important. Are you feeling better?”
Ah. So they were
getting back on doctor-patient footing again, was that it? Things must’ve been
getting too personal for Captain Justice. “As better as I can be as a zombie
girl who isn’t in control of her own brain anymore.”
“You aren’t a zombie. I’ve
never once heard you say you hunger for brains.”
Mirage grimaced at the
half-assed joke. “I just wish I could be sure which thoughts were mine and
which weren’t. I don’t even know if there was some kind of booby-trap or if I
was the one who booted you out of my head.”
“You think you could
have put that barrier in?”
Mirage closed her eyes,
pressing once more against the walls of her mind. “I don’t know. It feels like me. But even if I did it, was it me doing it? Or Kevin’s version of me?”
“Kevin’s version?”
“His voice in my head
always sounded like my voice. And now I can’t stop hearing it. My father…” She
hesitated, feeling strange about speaking about her father with a hero, like
she was betraying him somehow, but the man beside her didn’t look like an
avenging super. He looked like Julian. Handsome. Open. Listening. And there
were things she needed to say. Things she hadn’t been able to say, even to
Lucien.
“My father could force
me to do things, but I always knew it was outside compulsion. I never lost that
awareness, that part of myself. Kevin was like a disease—microscopic,
replicating inside my brain, visible only in the symptoms, until I was so
saturated with him it was like trying to think through a fever of a hundred and
four while my brain boiled.”
“Your father used
compulsion on you?”
Mirage sighed. Trust a
hero to fixate on the first tree he came to and miss the forest entirely. “He
didn’t mean to. He was powerful, could make you dance like a puppet if he
wanted to, but he never did. Most of the time he hated his powers. He preferred
science. Cool rationality. But everyone loses control sometimes.” A hero who
accidentally demolished a building when first coming into superstrength was
instantly forgiven, but a Mind Bender who accidentally activates his powers
even once was instantly tarred a villain. How was that justice? “Didn’t you
ever wonder how a hero was able to capture him in the first place? How do you
capture someone who can bend your mind to force you to his will unless he is intentionally restraining his powers?”
“He escaped, didn’t he?
How could he be still at large if he never used his powers?”
“I didn’t say he never used them. I said he only did it when upset. He didn’t react well to being
wrongfully convicted. Or the attempts to recapture him.”
“Wrongfully?”
“Show me a Mind Bender
who ever got a fair trial.”
“It’s impossible. They
could manipulate the jury.”
“So our rights don’t
matter?”
“ Our ? You put
yourself in the same category as your father?”
“Imprisoned without a
trial? Yes. I’d say we’re in the same category.”
“And yet you both
escaped your prisons.”
“Is that supposed to
justify it?”
“I met you inside a
bank vault. Protestations of innocence are a bit hard to swallow.”
“I never said I was
innocent. I have no problem
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