road!”
Samantha looked at Amanda
thoughtfully, “Do you love Geoffrey, though?”
“Of course,” Amanda
responded automatically.
“No, I don't mean like
that,” Sam responded, “Not in the way that takes you a nanosecond to answer.
Not in the way that requires no thought. I mean, do you actually love him?”
Amanda paused and considered.
“Well...I mean, we've been together for two years...”
Karina jumped in, “Ha! That
is not an answer! Not to mention, if you were really in love with him, it
wouldn't have taken you twenty minutes into this conversation to remember that
he even existed.”
Amanda shook her head, “God,
I don't know. If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I love Geoffrey, I
would have given you an unequivocal yes. I mean, he's dashing, and charming,
and so handsome and cultured. He's like a gentleman of another era.
“But since my father has
died, I've seen a whole other side of him that I never would have guessed was
there. He just has zero capacity for emotion, or empathy! I guess I never
noticed that before because our entire relationship has consisted of fancy
dinners and luxury hotel suites and lavish gifts and trips...I honestly think I
may have spent our entire relationship being dazzled.
“Now the rubber is meeting
the road, though, and I'm seeing behind the glitzy veneer, and...God help me,
it feels so disloyal to be saying this about him...but I think I may not like
what I'm seeing there.”
Karina smiled, “And what
about Justin?”
Amanda sighed deeply, and
felt relief and comfort wash over her as she relaxed into thinking about the
person who knew her better than any other human on the planet, “Oh, God, then
there's Justin. I don't have to hesitate before answering whether I love Justin
or not. I can answer that in a nanosecond because I know for a fact, I never
stopped loving that man. He's had my heart since age six, and whatever the
outcome of this crazy situation is, he'll probably have it until I die. But who
knows if he even loves me back? And even if he does...” she trailed off as
tears filled her eyes.
“Even if he does, in the
back of your mind, you're always going to be waiting for him to take off in the
middle of the night.” Lauren finished for her.
“Yeah,” Amanda confirmed
miserably. “That.”
Chapter 8
Justin looked around at the
bunkhouse, and was pleased with what he saw. Yesterday, when he'd walked in and
saw the layers of dust, the spider webs, and the bare mattress with no bedding,
he had been too exhausted to care about any of it. He had made due with
accommodations much more primitive than this in the past, he could certainly
spend one dusty night bunking with the spiders, and it wouldn't kill him. So
he'd tossed his duffel on the top of the mattress to use as a pillow, laid
down, and promptly fell into a deep sleep that lasted for fourteen hours.
It was no wonder he had been
exhausted, he told himself when he arose the next morning, feeling refreshed.
The anxiety of knowing that he was going to see Amanda again had been eating
him alive for a solid week, ever since Henry had contacted him up in Alaska and
told him about both Parker's death and the fact that he was included in the
will.
Henry hadn't told him what
Parker had left him, but it wasn't the promise of a monetary inheritance that
had drawn Justin back to the mountains of Northern California that had raised
him. It was the promise of Amanda, of a chance to make things right.
The fact that he didn't hear
from her at all after he had heard from Henry had been disconcerting, and his
imagination had invented a million different possible scenarios about what that
silence could mean since then. Was it revenge for all of his years of silence?
Was it the sheer force of her rage that made it impossible for her to speak
with him? Was it bare indifference?
The one possibility that he
had failed to consider was that Henry hadn't actually told her that he was
coming back. The
Samantha looked at Amanda
thoughtfully, “Do you love Geoffrey, though?”
“Of course,” Amanda
responded automatically.
“No, I don't mean like
that,” Sam responded, “Not in the way that takes you a nanosecond to answer.
Not in the way that requires no thought. I mean, do you actually love him?”
Amanda paused and considered.
“Well...I mean, we've been together for two years...”
Karina jumped in, “Ha! That
is not an answer! Not to mention, if you were really in love with him, it
wouldn't have taken you twenty minutes into this conversation to remember that
he even existed.”
Amanda shook her head, “God,
I don't know. If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I love Geoffrey, I
would have given you an unequivocal yes. I mean, he's dashing, and charming,
and so handsome and cultured. He's like a gentleman of another era.
“But since my father has
died, I've seen a whole other side of him that I never would have guessed was
there. He just has zero capacity for emotion, or empathy! I guess I never
noticed that before because our entire relationship has consisted of fancy
dinners and luxury hotel suites and lavish gifts and trips...I honestly think I
may have spent our entire relationship being dazzled.
“Now the rubber is meeting
the road, though, and I'm seeing behind the glitzy veneer, and...God help me,
it feels so disloyal to be saying this about him...but I think I may not like
what I'm seeing there.”
Karina smiled, “And what
about Justin?”
Amanda sighed deeply, and
felt relief and comfort wash over her as she relaxed into thinking about the
person who knew her better than any other human on the planet, “Oh, God, then
there's Justin. I don't have to hesitate before answering whether I love Justin
or not. I can answer that in a nanosecond because I know for a fact, I never
stopped loving that man. He's had my heart since age six, and whatever the
outcome of this crazy situation is, he'll probably have it until I die. But who
knows if he even loves me back? And even if he does...” she trailed off as
tears filled her eyes.
“Even if he does, in the
back of your mind, you're always going to be waiting for him to take off in the
middle of the night.” Lauren finished for her.
“Yeah,” Amanda confirmed
miserably. “That.”
Chapter 8
Justin looked around at the
bunkhouse, and was pleased with what he saw. Yesterday, when he'd walked in and
saw the layers of dust, the spider webs, and the bare mattress with no bedding,
he had been too exhausted to care about any of it. He had made due with
accommodations much more primitive than this in the past, he could certainly
spend one dusty night bunking with the spiders, and it wouldn't kill him. So
he'd tossed his duffel on the top of the mattress to use as a pillow, laid
down, and promptly fell into a deep sleep that lasted for fourteen hours.
It was no wonder he had been
exhausted, he told himself when he arose the next morning, feeling refreshed.
The anxiety of knowing that he was going to see Amanda again had been eating
him alive for a solid week, ever since Henry had contacted him up in Alaska and
told him about both Parker's death and the fact that he was included in the
will.
Henry hadn't told him what
Parker had left him, but it wasn't the promise of a monetary inheritance that
had drawn Justin back to the mountains of Northern California that had raised
him. It was the promise of Amanda, of a chance to make things right.
The fact that he didn't hear
from her at all after he had heard from Henry had been disconcerting, and his
imagination had invented a million different possible scenarios about what that
silence could mean since then. Was it revenge for all of his years of silence?
Was it the sheer force of her rage that made it impossible for her to speak
with him? Was it bare indifference?
The one possibility that he
had failed to consider was that Henry hadn't actually told her that he was
coming back. The
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