boyfriend had been increasingly irritated by how much time she spent in front of the mirror and had decided to strike back.
The woman who drenched her erring husband's suits in very nasty cheap perfume had the satisfaction of knowing that they still reeked even after four dry-cleanings... and he had to wear one of them to work while the others were being cleaned.
Wimmin's Revenge. There were red shoulders and red faces last May during a scorching London heatwave. On a building site at the corner of Wardour Street and Old Compton Street (aka 'Queer Street'), passing women were greatly amused to see a group of heavily pierced and peroxided young men looking up at the bare-chested builders and in a chorus of cat calls and wolf whistles crying out: 'Hello Boys!' and 'Mmmm, nice buns!'
Perfection can sometimes bring out the absolute worst in people. There was a super-tidy, super-clean lady whose obsessive behaviour inspired her best friend to new heights of school-foolish antics. Everything in the super-lady's house was immaculate. White was the predominant colour: on sofas, chairs and walls. Everything was arranged just so. Her clothes were perfect, the slightest crease precipitating a change of garment; her hair was always beautifully groomed; she was exactly on time; she never ate or drank too much and bags under the eyes were something she only ever read
about. She was the perfect hostess and dust on the bookshelves just didn't exist in her world. All of this and more drove her friend to distraction so she decided to take action, to rub some of the sheen off the glossy reputation. Miss Wonderful was having a dinner party (perfection of course) for twenty people when her friend struck. As is often the way, she allowed the ladies to use her bathroom and so, quite soon after her arrival, her best friend needed to 'go'. When she got to the bathroom she withdrew a small pot of Marmite from her bag, found a pair of Miss Wonderful's knickers in the laundry basket and proceeded to spread the Marmite liberally. She left the horrendous looking result hanging half out of the laundry basket before returning to the party. During the course of the evening most of the female guests needed to 'freshen up'. What can they have thought?
A woman well known in the gossip columns became increasingly fed up with her husband. While he was asleep in a drunken stupor she covered him in hair remover. He got up the next morning, had a shower, and all his hair fell off. - with thanks to Daily Express diarist Ross Benson.
A new bride was upset when her husband was asked to go shooting in Wales and she was not included in the invitation. His schedule that day was horrific so he asked her if she would pack for him and he would pick up the bag after work and head off west. On his arrival he was shown to his room and, to his horror, found that the bag contained not shooting gear but white trousers, tennis shoes, a life jacket, thigh-high waders, a Panama hat and his morning suit.
An aristocratic female carefully loosened all the stitching in her husband's suits and shirts. By the time he reached the office he was looking dishevelled. Mid morning, during a meeting, a seam popped lazily open. By lunchtime he was a complete laughing stock and had to go home and change - only to find that she had changed the locks.
Cash Crises
'Living well is the best revenge.' proverb by George Herbert, 1639, and much favoured by writer and bon viveur Charles Benson
Cash Crises
A woman had been through a fairly unpleasant divorce from her wealthy husband. While they were together they had built up an important collection of china. One particularly fine set comprised twenty-five pieces, of which she had bought eight over the years and he had bought seventeen. He badly wanted them all and he pestered her over and over to let him have them. She simply couldn't decide whether to sell them to