exchange confused looks.
“Are you okay?” I ask
“I’m fine; I just have a lot of work to do.” Ryan says.
“Come to think of it, I do too.” I say turning to Kelly, when I realize that I have a paper due in just a few days and I haven’t even started on it.
“Alright,” Kelly says and frowns. We walk back to the car, Kelly mopes, Ryan broods and I feel confused, wondering what it is that’s causing Ryan to be so unlike himself. I’ve seen him hung-over before, but he’s always been able to pull himself together and seem chipper.
The trip back to campus is the complete opposite of the trip away. Ryan’s mood is dark and it’s having an effect on Kelly and me. We pull up to the dorm; I get out, thanking Kelly for the ride and for hanging out with me. I walk into my dorm and I see Gabriel and Emily both shirtless, staring at me in shock.
Ryan
Chapter Eight
Friends with Benefits
“W hat the hell is your problem?” Kelly asks me once Crystal disappears behind the door of her dorm building.
I really don’t want to talk about this right now, especially with her. “Like you would care.” I glance at her and she looks hurt.
“That’s the problem, I do care.” She says looking into my eyes.
“Yeah, you cared so much that last night, when I was lying in a pool of my own vomit; you decided to fuck the lead singer back stage.” I still can’t believe she did that.
“That’s not fair, Ryan. You know we have an agreement.” She glares at me.
“Just take me to my dorm.”
“Gladly.”
The air around of is tense as we both sit in silence. The only sound is the tires on the pavement as Kelly drives. I’m not really mad at Kelly; she’s not the one I care about or the problem. I am however upset that once again Crystal looks right through me and sees some other guy. One she can’t even have. Some guy with a stupid name, Gabriel, what the hell kind of gay name is that anyway? I bet he’s just like every other asshole she’s been with.
“Ryan, really, what’s wrong?” Kelly asks me, the car is parked and her hand is on my shoulder.
“I’m sure you already know.” I say as I stare out the window, I don’t even want to look at her when I’m thinking of Crystal. How could she just sit there and talk about someone else when I’m right there, practically with a neon sign flashing, “I Love you.”
“Crystal.” Kelly sighs. “It’s always Crystal. How many times as you going to let her get to you like this?”
“I can’t help it.” I say glancing at her. And I really can’t I’ve been crazy about Crystal since grade school, I just wish she felt the same way about me, it’s a fact that is so agonizing that it keeps me awake at night.
“Can’t help it? You can help it by manning up and telling her!” She practically yells at me.
“It’s not about manning up.” I can’t remember how many times I’ve tried to tell her, I can’t even count how many times I’ve called her, only to hang up. I’m worried about what will happen if I do tell her. I wonder how things will change, if she’ll not want to be around me anymore because things will be too weird, and that’s one thing I can’t stand, the thought of losing her. At least as her friend I’m guaranteed a place in her life, even if it’s not the one I want.
“Yes it is; why won’t you tell her?”
“If I tell her how I feel she’ll be with me because she feels sorry for me. I can’t have her date me out of pity. She’ll be scared she’s going to hurt my feelings if she lets me down. I just can’t tell her. I want her to be with me because she wants to be with me, not because she’s afraid of hurting me.” Which is just as true too, one thing I can’t stand is pity.
“So you’re going to mope around and be miserable instead?”
“No.” I tell her, but she’s right. She knows me too well.
“But that’s what you’re doing. Either you man up and tell her or you let her go, and I suggest you do
“Are you okay?” I ask
“I’m fine; I just have a lot of work to do.” Ryan says.
“Come to think of it, I do too.” I say turning to Kelly, when I realize that I have a paper due in just a few days and I haven’t even started on it.
“Alright,” Kelly says and frowns. We walk back to the car, Kelly mopes, Ryan broods and I feel confused, wondering what it is that’s causing Ryan to be so unlike himself. I’ve seen him hung-over before, but he’s always been able to pull himself together and seem chipper.
The trip back to campus is the complete opposite of the trip away. Ryan’s mood is dark and it’s having an effect on Kelly and me. We pull up to the dorm; I get out, thanking Kelly for the ride and for hanging out with me. I walk into my dorm and I see Gabriel and Emily both shirtless, staring at me in shock.
Ryan
Chapter Eight
Friends with Benefits
“W hat the hell is your problem?” Kelly asks me once Crystal disappears behind the door of her dorm building.
I really don’t want to talk about this right now, especially with her. “Like you would care.” I glance at her and she looks hurt.
“That’s the problem, I do care.” She says looking into my eyes.
“Yeah, you cared so much that last night, when I was lying in a pool of my own vomit; you decided to fuck the lead singer back stage.” I still can’t believe she did that.
“That’s not fair, Ryan. You know we have an agreement.” She glares at me.
“Just take me to my dorm.”
“Gladly.”
The air around of is tense as we both sit in silence. The only sound is the tires on the pavement as Kelly drives. I’m not really mad at Kelly; she’s not the one I care about or the problem. I am however upset that once again Crystal looks right through me and sees some other guy. One she can’t even have. Some guy with a stupid name, Gabriel, what the hell kind of gay name is that anyway? I bet he’s just like every other asshole she’s been with.
“Ryan, really, what’s wrong?” Kelly asks me, the car is parked and her hand is on my shoulder.
“I’m sure you already know.” I say as I stare out the window, I don’t even want to look at her when I’m thinking of Crystal. How could she just sit there and talk about someone else when I’m right there, practically with a neon sign flashing, “I Love you.”
“Crystal.” Kelly sighs. “It’s always Crystal. How many times as you going to let her get to you like this?”
“I can’t help it.” I say glancing at her. And I really can’t I’ve been crazy about Crystal since grade school, I just wish she felt the same way about me, it’s a fact that is so agonizing that it keeps me awake at night.
“Can’t help it? You can help it by manning up and telling her!” She practically yells at me.
“It’s not about manning up.” I can’t remember how many times I’ve tried to tell her, I can’t even count how many times I’ve called her, only to hang up. I’m worried about what will happen if I do tell her. I wonder how things will change, if she’ll not want to be around me anymore because things will be too weird, and that’s one thing I can’t stand, the thought of losing her. At least as her friend I’m guaranteed a place in her life, even if it’s not the one I want.
“Yes it is; why won’t you tell her?”
“If I tell her how I feel she’ll be with me because she feels sorry for me. I can’t have her date me out of pity. She’ll be scared she’s going to hurt my feelings if she lets me down. I just can’t tell her. I want her to be with me because she wants to be with me, not because she’s afraid of hurting me.” Which is just as true too, one thing I can’t stand is pity.
“So you’re going to mope around and be miserable instead?”
“No.” I tell her, but she’s right. She knows me too well.
“But that’s what you’re doing. Either you man up and tell her or you let her go, and I suggest you do
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