harm’s way here, and going outside the wire meant putting your life
on the line.
The stress was definitely taking its toll on her. She hated the
inability to control it. Her mind kept spinning despite her efforts to silence
the voice of doubt in her head. What if she was too
tired and made a bad call out there that put her crew and aircraft in
jeopardy?
The instant she thought it she forced it from her mind. She had
to get a grip on this weird PTSD thing before someone figured out just how
shaken she was about Devon’s accident and pulled her from duty. At least her
friend had lived through the ordeal with only minor injuries and a ruptured ACL.
A lot of men had died on that mission.
She pulled herself to the present. “Brought you guys a snack.”
Pulling the muffins from her pockets, she tossed the bran to Maya and the
blueberry buttermilk to Honor.
“Hey, thanks,” Honor said with a big smile. “You’re a
sweetheart.”
“Yeah, tell that to Sergeant Irritating.”
Maya thanked her too then fixed her with a curious look. “Why
does it matter what he thinks of you?”
“I know it shouldn’t, but it does.” Because she wanted his
respect. And a lot more, if she was brutally honest with herself.
Thankfully, Maya didn’t reply, though she still managed to
convey her opinion with a single, telling look.
Candace sat on her bunk—the very one Ryan had fixed for her—and
pulled off her heavy boots, expecting to fall into a coma the second her head
hit the pillow, but her eyes wouldn’t stay shut. The weight of responsibility
she carried was a heavy load. Someone like Ryan would never understand the
position she was in. He thrived on bending the rules or flat-out breaking them.
She’d worked her ass off to become a captain, let alone become part of a gunship
crew, earning her own way each step through the ranks and not expecting any
special treatment or favors because of her family. She was damn proud of her
record and service.
Honor and Maya remained quiet while she rested. When half an
hour had passed without any hope of falling asleep, Candace finally sat up and
scrubbed a hand over her face. Leaning over, she rummaged through a pile of
books and pulled out her SERE text. The cover looked brand new and the spine was
still pristine. She’d done well in the course—as well as any of the others, at
least—but at the time she’d thought the majority of what they taught was plain
common sense and had mostly skimmed the classroom material. Since Devon had been
shot down, her knowledge on the subject seemed woefully inadequate.
To remedy that, she opened it to the chapter about avoiding
detection and got busy reading. In the middle of the third chapter her lids
began to droop. Candace clutched the book to her chest as she stretched out atop
her bunk with a sigh. In another couple of hours she and her crew would be
patrolling the skies once again. Would Ryan be out there on the ground?
Honor let out a soft whistle when she finally noticed the SERE
text. “Some nice bedtime reading, Ace?”
She smirked. “Yeah. Just brushing up.”
Maya exchanged a glance with Honor before looking back at her,
her expression saying Candace was full of shit.
“Can we do anything to help?” Honor offered, hesitating near
the foot of her bunk.
The offer touched her, especially since Candace knew Honor was
still reeling from her breakup with her ex-fiancé, Liam, a Chinook pilot with
the fabled Night Stalkers. “No, thanks. Have a briefing to be at after I catch
some winks.” But sleep was impossible for the moment with her thoughts all
jumbled. She didn’t feel safe here anymore. Didn’t even feel safe in the cockpit
sometimes. Man, maybe she was losing her edge.
“Spill it.”
Rolling her head on her pillow, she meet Maya’s frank gaze.
“Spill what?”
“Uh-uh, don’t even try that with me. Tell me what’s going on in
that head.”
Honor sat on the end of Candace’s bunk, a slight frown marring
her
on the line.
The stress was definitely taking its toll on her. She hated the
inability to control it. Her mind kept spinning despite her efforts to silence
the voice of doubt in her head. What if she was too
tired and made a bad call out there that put her crew and aircraft in
jeopardy?
The instant she thought it she forced it from her mind. She had
to get a grip on this weird PTSD thing before someone figured out just how
shaken she was about Devon’s accident and pulled her from duty. At least her
friend had lived through the ordeal with only minor injuries and a ruptured ACL.
A lot of men had died on that mission.
She pulled herself to the present. “Brought you guys a snack.”
Pulling the muffins from her pockets, she tossed the bran to Maya and the
blueberry buttermilk to Honor.
“Hey, thanks,” Honor said with a big smile. “You’re a
sweetheart.”
“Yeah, tell that to Sergeant Irritating.”
Maya thanked her too then fixed her with a curious look. “Why
does it matter what he thinks of you?”
“I know it shouldn’t, but it does.” Because she wanted his
respect. And a lot more, if she was brutally honest with herself.
Thankfully, Maya didn’t reply, though she still managed to
convey her opinion with a single, telling look.
Candace sat on her bunk—the very one Ryan had fixed for her—and
pulled off her heavy boots, expecting to fall into a coma the second her head
hit the pillow, but her eyes wouldn’t stay shut. The weight of responsibility
she carried was a heavy load. Someone like Ryan would never understand the
position she was in. He thrived on bending the rules or flat-out breaking them.
She’d worked her ass off to become a captain, let alone become part of a gunship
crew, earning her own way each step through the ranks and not expecting any
special treatment or favors because of her family. She was damn proud of her
record and service.
Honor and Maya remained quiet while she rested. When half an
hour had passed without any hope of falling asleep, Candace finally sat up and
scrubbed a hand over her face. Leaning over, she rummaged through a pile of
books and pulled out her SERE text. The cover looked brand new and the spine was
still pristine. She’d done well in the course—as well as any of the others, at
least—but at the time she’d thought the majority of what they taught was plain
common sense and had mostly skimmed the classroom material. Since Devon had been
shot down, her knowledge on the subject seemed woefully inadequate.
To remedy that, she opened it to the chapter about avoiding
detection and got busy reading. In the middle of the third chapter her lids
began to droop. Candace clutched the book to her chest as she stretched out atop
her bunk with a sigh. In another couple of hours she and her crew would be
patrolling the skies once again. Would Ryan be out there on the ground?
Honor let out a soft whistle when she finally noticed the SERE
text. “Some nice bedtime reading, Ace?”
She smirked. “Yeah. Just brushing up.”
Maya exchanged a glance with Honor before looking back at her,
her expression saying Candace was full of shit.
“Can we do anything to help?” Honor offered, hesitating near
the foot of her bunk.
The offer touched her, especially since Candace knew Honor was
still reeling from her breakup with her ex-fiancé, Liam, a Chinook pilot with
the fabled Night Stalkers. “No, thanks. Have a briefing to be at after I catch
some winks.” But sleep was impossible for the moment with her thoughts all
jumbled. She didn’t feel safe here anymore. Didn’t even feel safe in the cockpit
sometimes. Man, maybe she was losing her edge.
“Spill it.”
Rolling her head on her pillow, she meet Maya’s frank gaze.
“Spill what?”
“Uh-uh, don’t even try that with me. Tell me what’s going on in
that head.”
Honor sat on the end of Candace’s bunk, a slight frown marring
her
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