want him to see the devastation on mine.
At least I knew what he really thought of me.
And I wouldn’t have to see him again.
Bentley
The house was normally quiet on Saturday nights, so I thought I’d be able to come home and have some time to myself after seeing Sarah for the first time. I’d thought about that moment for so long, and now it had happened. We’d met. But the silence I yearned for wasn’t going to happen. My cousin, Luke, was sprawled out in the living room when I came through the door, and by the look on his face, he knew what I’d been up to. I ignored him and headed back to the room he’d let me use for the last eight months. I hoped he’d stay where he was.
“Please tell me you decided to go out for a drive by yourself tonight, and not out looking for her ,” Luke said as he followed me down the dark hallway. Had he not sounded so condescending, I might’ve answered him.
But instead, I kept my thoughts to myself.
“Dude, seriously. I told you it was a bad idea.”
I spun around and got in his face. He was smaller than me, but not by much. I used to be a lot bigger than him, but over the span of my time here, I’d lost some muscle mass, and was no longer as fit as I once was. “ Dude ,” I said, throwing back the same attitude he’d given me, “it’s none of your business what I do or who I see.”
“Must’ve gone wrong if you’re this bent out of shape.”
“I figured I’d find a sad girl, not… that .”
“What did you find? How was she?”
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around the girl I’d found tonight at the bar. “Lonely, desolate…like she’s afraid of life and on the verge of giving up. She wasn’t wasted, and she only cried when I pushed too far about her mom. I can’t explain it…almost as if she hates life but doesn’t really because she doesn’t understand hate. That vindictiveness isn’t in her. She’s bitter, sure, but she’s buried her real feelings so deep, only the lies are reflecting back at people. Blinding them to the truth. She’s playing a part, masquerading as the ‘I don’t give a shit’ girl when, in fact, she’s not anywhere near that carefree, and it’s smothering her. Killing off the real her.”
“She lost her mom a little over five months ago. What did you expect her to be like?” He made his way into my room and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His demeanor clearly stated “I told you so.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head in my hands, feeling completely defeated. “I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I mean, you told me about her weekends at the bars, the rumors about her hooking up with guys, but…”
“You didn’t want it to be true,” Luke said with such sympathy it hurt my ears.
“I didn’t. But it is.”
“Well…” He pushed off the wall and headed toward the door. “There’s not much you can do about it now.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re leaving tomorrow. You’re going back home. Kinda hard to keep an eye on her from there.”
I watched in silence as Luke walked out of the room, and then my gaze fell to my packed bags in the corner. I studied them as if they’d tell me what to do, as if they held all my answers.
“No.” Luke’s rumbling voice interrupted my concentration. “That’s a stupid idea, man.”
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, cousin.” Except, I did. I knew exactly what he meant, because he knew exactly where my mind had gone. And the smirk on my face gave it all away.
“This can’t possibly end well.”
“I’ve heard that a time or two before. I beat the odds before. I’ll do it again.”
Sarah
The rest of Saturday night sucked. After going home—alone—I’d taken a shower and gotten ready for bed. But sleep refused to come. I ended up tossing and turning for hours, thinking of nothing but Bentley. His words filled my head, his voice echoed throughout the
At least I knew what he really thought of me.
And I wouldn’t have to see him again.
Bentley
The house was normally quiet on Saturday nights, so I thought I’d be able to come home and have some time to myself after seeing Sarah for the first time. I’d thought about that moment for so long, and now it had happened. We’d met. But the silence I yearned for wasn’t going to happen. My cousin, Luke, was sprawled out in the living room when I came through the door, and by the look on his face, he knew what I’d been up to. I ignored him and headed back to the room he’d let me use for the last eight months. I hoped he’d stay where he was.
“Please tell me you decided to go out for a drive by yourself tonight, and not out looking for her ,” Luke said as he followed me down the dark hallway. Had he not sounded so condescending, I might’ve answered him.
But instead, I kept my thoughts to myself.
“Dude, seriously. I told you it was a bad idea.”
I spun around and got in his face. He was smaller than me, but not by much. I used to be a lot bigger than him, but over the span of my time here, I’d lost some muscle mass, and was no longer as fit as I once was. “ Dude ,” I said, throwing back the same attitude he’d given me, “it’s none of your business what I do or who I see.”
“Must’ve gone wrong if you’re this bent out of shape.”
“I figured I’d find a sad girl, not… that .”
“What did you find? How was she?”
I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around the girl I’d found tonight at the bar. “Lonely, desolate…like she’s afraid of life and on the verge of giving up. She wasn’t wasted, and she only cried when I pushed too far about her mom. I can’t explain it…almost as if she hates life but doesn’t really because she doesn’t understand hate. That vindictiveness isn’t in her. She’s bitter, sure, but she’s buried her real feelings so deep, only the lies are reflecting back at people. Blinding them to the truth. She’s playing a part, masquerading as the ‘I don’t give a shit’ girl when, in fact, she’s not anywhere near that carefree, and it’s smothering her. Killing off the real her.”
“She lost her mom a little over five months ago. What did you expect her to be like?” He made his way into my room and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. His demeanor clearly stated “I told you so.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head in my hands, feeling completely defeated. “I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I mean, you told me about her weekends at the bars, the rumors about her hooking up with guys, but…”
“You didn’t want it to be true,” Luke said with such sympathy it hurt my ears.
“I didn’t. But it is.”
“Well…” He pushed off the wall and headed toward the door. “There’s not much you can do about it now.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re leaving tomorrow. You’re going back home. Kinda hard to keep an eye on her from there.”
I watched in silence as Luke walked out of the room, and then my gaze fell to my packed bags in the corner. I studied them as if they’d tell me what to do, as if they held all my answers.
“No.” Luke’s rumbling voice interrupted my concentration. “That’s a stupid idea, man.”
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, cousin.” Except, I did. I knew exactly what he meant, because he knew exactly where my mind had gone. And the smirk on my face gave it all away.
“This can’t possibly end well.”
“I’ve heard that a time or two before. I beat the odds before. I’ll do it again.”
Sarah
The rest of Saturday night sucked. After going home—alone—I’d taken a shower and gotten ready for bed. But sleep refused to come. I ended up tossing and turning for hours, thinking of nothing but Bentley. His words filled my head, his voice echoed throughout the
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