breath and continued.
“So, we went into the dark closet, and despite all that drama, I
was still excited and braced myself for my first kiss—my
monumental moment. Oh, and it most certainly was.”
Tess released her breath and smiled.
“Scott shut the door behind him, turned to
me, and whispered, ‘we really don’t have to kiss. Let’s just wait
thirty seconds and come out.’”
Tess looked like a little kid who just
discovered there was no such thing as Santa Claus.
I paused to sip water, hoping to hide my
burning face temporarily behind the glass. I chewed on an ice cube
and nodded.
“Yep. Heartbreak number one,” I said,
knowingly.
“Wow.” Tess cleared her throat and shook her
head.
“At the time it felt like the ultimate. Who
knew that years later I would be faced with this gut-wrencher?
Which leads me to the point of my humiliating story. The fact that
someone who has it all actually chose plain ole Lucy Banks to be
his wife, really made me feel like a million bucks.”
“Okay ... totally get what you’re saying, but
Aunt Lu, that was like thirty years ago,” Tess said. “Shouldn’t you
be a little more secure by now?” she said in a gentle voice.
“First of all, twenty-eight,” I corrected.
“But can you at least try to understand what I’m saying? Cooper had
sky-high standards. So if he picked me, then wow, I must be
something special.”
“You are something special.” Tess hit
the table with her hand, making a saucer rattle on the table. She
made a grimace and massaged her palm.
“Well, he ditched me, so clearly I’m
not.”
At the same time, we both let out exasperated
sighs.
“Tessie, you can’t relate to this. You’ve had
an easy go at life.”
Tess, who had been taking a sip of orange
juice, snorted, causing a little juice to trickle down her chin.
“Oh yeah, and that served me well. Now look,” she said, wiping her
lips with the back of her hand. “My mom took care of everything for
me. ‘Oh, you don’t like your science teacher? I’ll switch classes
for you. Having a problem with one of your friends? I’ll talk to
her mother.’” Tess looked at me with exasperation. “She even made you take this trip with me.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she
silenced me with her hand.
“I don’t know how to figure it out on my own.
I never had to. I can’t get a job, so what do I do? Get depressed.
It’s like I can’t handle the fact that I, or my mommy, can’t fix
this situation for me. The unknown with me in command has never
been part of my life. I have followed all the steps I was supposed
to, even as a child. I was a Brownie, then a Girl Scout, played
sports in high school, went to the college Mom and Dad wanted me to
attend, then to grad school. I did all the things I was supposed to
do. All the things I was told to do. Now what? I’m trying, but...”
She trailed off, looking miserable.
I reached over and covered her hand with my
own. “There are no more mapped out turns on our GPS’s of life,” I
finished. “It’s like a car GPS. ‘You have reached your final
destination,’” I said in a computerized voice, “and are now on your
own.’”
“The highway to nowhere,” she muttered.
“Or the parkway to possibilities?” I
offered.
Tess took a sip of her coffee, and I absently
popped a blueberry into my mouth, sharing a moment of silence with
my niece. I had never realized that despite our age difference, how
similar we were. One generation apart and we were both kind of in
the same place. Two structured women starting over.
“Well, Tess, you’re paving a new route and
giving it your all, honey. That’s all you can do. All we can
do.”
I playfully slapped the top of her hand.
“Hey, here’s something that will make you feel better. Your
situation could be worse. You can be forty-two and starting over.”
My stomach ached. “Forty-freakin-two and starting over...” I
cleared my throat and waved my hands frantically, like I
“So, we went into the dark closet, and despite all that drama, I
was still excited and braced myself for my first kiss—my
monumental moment. Oh, and it most certainly was.”
Tess released her breath and smiled.
“Scott shut the door behind him, turned to
me, and whispered, ‘we really don’t have to kiss. Let’s just wait
thirty seconds and come out.’”
Tess looked like a little kid who just
discovered there was no such thing as Santa Claus.
I paused to sip water, hoping to hide my
burning face temporarily behind the glass. I chewed on an ice cube
and nodded.
“Yep. Heartbreak number one,” I said,
knowingly.
“Wow.” Tess cleared her throat and shook her
head.
“At the time it felt like the ultimate. Who
knew that years later I would be faced with this gut-wrencher?
Which leads me to the point of my humiliating story. The fact that
someone who has it all actually chose plain ole Lucy Banks to be
his wife, really made me feel like a million bucks.”
“Okay ... totally get what you’re saying, but
Aunt Lu, that was like thirty years ago,” Tess said. “Shouldn’t you
be a little more secure by now?” she said in a gentle voice.
“First of all, twenty-eight,” I corrected.
“But can you at least try to understand what I’m saying? Cooper had
sky-high standards. So if he picked me, then wow, I must be
something special.”
“You are something special.” Tess hit
the table with her hand, making a saucer rattle on the table. She
made a grimace and massaged her palm.
“Well, he ditched me, so clearly I’m
not.”
At the same time, we both let out exasperated
sighs.
“Tessie, you can’t relate to this. You’ve had
an easy go at life.”
Tess, who had been taking a sip of orange
juice, snorted, causing a little juice to trickle down her chin.
“Oh yeah, and that served me well. Now look,” she said, wiping her
lips with the back of her hand. “My mom took care of everything for
me. ‘Oh, you don’t like your science teacher? I’ll switch classes
for you. Having a problem with one of your friends? I’ll talk to
her mother.’” Tess looked at me with exasperation. “She even made you take this trip with me.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she
silenced me with her hand.
“I don’t know how to figure it out on my own.
I never had to. I can’t get a job, so what do I do? Get depressed.
It’s like I can’t handle the fact that I, or my mommy, can’t fix
this situation for me. The unknown with me in command has never
been part of my life. I have followed all the steps I was supposed
to, even as a child. I was a Brownie, then a Girl Scout, played
sports in high school, went to the college Mom and Dad wanted me to
attend, then to grad school. I did all the things I was supposed to
do. All the things I was told to do. Now what? I’m trying, but...”
She trailed off, looking miserable.
I reached over and covered her hand with my
own. “There are no more mapped out turns on our GPS’s of life,” I
finished. “It’s like a car GPS. ‘You have reached your final
destination,’” I said in a computerized voice, “and are now on your
own.’”
“The highway to nowhere,” she muttered.
“Or the parkway to possibilities?” I
offered.
Tess took a sip of her coffee, and I absently
popped a blueberry into my mouth, sharing a moment of silence with
my niece. I had never realized that despite our age difference, how
similar we were. One generation apart and we were both kind of in
the same place. Two structured women starting over.
“Well, Tess, you’re paving a new route and
giving it your all, honey. That’s all you can do. All we can
do.”
I playfully slapped the top of her hand.
“Hey, here’s something that will make you feel better. Your
situation could be worse. You can be forty-two and starting over.”
My stomach ached. “Forty-freakin-two and starting over...” I
cleared my throat and waved my hands frantically, like I
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