thrust upon me for ten years. And now I would be dismissed, I knew it, sent back to the hospital without a character, fit only to be a scullery maid or worse. And Matron and Mr. Brownlow, my family as well â disgracing myself before all those who had believed in me. I sobbed and sobbed.
It was Fred who tapped on my door an hour later.
âHattie, Mr. Dickens wants to see you in his study.â
I had never been in Mr. Dickensâs study before; no one was allowed in unless invited and I assume he did the dusting himself. I was too upset to take in much, but I saw him look up from a table covered with slips of blue paper.
âAh, Harriet. Come here, please. I understand you, ah, you broke a teacup.â
âYes, sir.â
âI had not thought of you as clumsy.â
âNo sir, I am not, as a general rule.â
âThen how came the teacup to be broken? Did you really throw it against the wall?â
âYes, sir.â
âWould you care to tell me why? I understand you rescued it from Charley. Why rescue it if you were going to destroy it a moment later?â
I did not wish to answer; it would be Miss Georgyâs word against mine, a servant against a sister-in-law.
He moved a little china monkey from one end of the table to the other, back and forth. âLook at me, Harriet.â
âYes, sir.â
âYou have nothing more to say on this matter? You are not going to try and defend yourself. Whine or cry?â
I shook my head.
âYou know, I must write to Mr. Brownlow soon, for I gave my word I would keep him informed. What am I to say to him?â
I could feel the traitor tears beginning, but I dug my nails into my palm and forced them down.
âVery well. You may go.â
A tear slid down my cheek, but he pretended not to notice.
âGo where, sir?â
âWhy, back to work. What on earth did you think I meant?â
At this the tears poured down; I could not stop them. I searched blindly for the door, but he got up and put his hand on my shoulder.
âListen to me, Hattie. Never be ashamed of where you came from, never. But mind your temper. If something provokes you â and I suspect Miss Georgy did not mean to provoke you â count to two and twenty before you begin smashing the china. Will you promise me that?â
I couldnât speak; I could only nod.
âTwo and twenty, remember?â
I nodded again.
âSay it.â
âYes, sir. Two and twenty.â
âGood girl.â
Cook told me later that she had eavesdropped behind the parlour door and that I had caused a great uproar. Miss Georgy wanted me dismissed and âsent back to where she came from,â but Mrs. Dickens defended me and said how good I was with Charley, how much she had come to depend on me. She said Miss Georgy must have touched a nerve when she brought up the subject of the Foundling uniform, that perhaps I had taken the whole thing too much to heart. She and Mrs. Dickens hadquite a set-to about it, but then Mr. Dickens came in and agreed with his wife, that I might have felt mocked or made fun of. He was quite severe with Miss Georgy, much to Cookâs surprise.
âBut you minds how you goes, my girl, youâve made an henimy of that one. And I donât think as Master will be so forgiving a second time.â
That evening I went to apologize to Mrs. Dickens.
âWe will say no more about it, Hattie, but remember that Mr. Dickens likes a smooth-running household. He doesnât take kindly to disorder or disruption.â
That night I prayed hard that God would help me to be a better person, and I vowed I would count to four and forty, eight and eighty, even, before I would ever be tempted to do such a thing again. I had had a very narrow escape.
No one ever mentioned the incident afterwards, but one day, when Miss Georgina was putting on her bonnet in the hall and I had just come in from my half-day off, she stopped
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