bear to lose you like that. I want you out of all of this. This whole world. And whatever that means for me, I will face it.”
“I can’t.” He says it like there is no debate, like we can’t work through it.
“Yes, you can.”
“You don’t understand. Even if I could or even if I wanted to, Tim would never let me out. My only shot is to win big – and then lose big.”
“What do you mean?”
Lucas leans forward. “If I win and make it big, Tim will promote me. I will be his star. If I can get several fights under my belt, and get into the big money, then I will be set. And then, if I want out, I just need to stop winning. Eventually, he will get sick of me losing and move on.”
“But you could be killed before that happens. Look at Kade.”
“Speaking of… maybe we should go see Kade. Because I can take that fight and Tim will pay me double if I can win it, now that Kade humiliated him by getting his ass kicked.”
Lucas’s logic is circular and stupid. If he takes that fight, he will die. But he won’t listen to me. I decide to go along with his stupid plan for one reason only. Maybe seeing how badly Kade is hurt will scare the shit out of him like it did to me. And he will get the fuck out. I would let him move in with me at this point, if it would get him off the fucking meth and away from Tim.
I agree to go to the hospital and I drive. I don’t think Lucas is high, but who knows? It’s sad that there is no one in the hospital visiting Kade and I almost feel bad for him, before remembering he is kind of an asshole. He’s not conscious and the nurses say that it could be a while before he wakes up. I hope Lucas sees Kade lying here, tubes in him and needing machines to breathe, and realizes how ridiculous everything about his lifestyle is. However, he seems merely agitated that he can’t get some pointers from Kade.
“He could have died,” I remind Lucas.
“Someone needs to win that fight. May as well be me.”
I look between Kade and Lucas and sigh. Lucas is half Kade’s size. If this is what the fight did to Kade, imagine what it would do to Lucas.
“I can’t support you in this,” I tell him.
“Too bad. I need you to come with me now, to help me talk Tim into a redo.”
“Lucas, I can’t help you get killed.”
He leans close and pulls me to him roughly. “I won’t get killed. But I can’t be what you want if I don’t fucking start winning again. And I just know that all your convictions mean nothing when you get wet enough.”
“That’s a shitty thing to say,” I tell him.
“Is it?” He asks as he slips his hand down my pants and fingers my clit. Jesus, I want him. Is he right? Am I willing to do anything, at the cost of his safety, if he just gets me horny? I try to back away, but he holds me tight and brings me right to the edge of coming.
“You come with me – and then you can come for me,” he demands.
I don’t know why I go. Because I’m weak? Because I care for him too much to let him go alone? I wish I understood, and I wish I knew why I can’t stay away from him and all his fucked up bullshit that was going to bring the world down around me.
Nine
Tim Pollen is still an asshole. His house is a fucking mess and there are probably a number of health hazards as well as zoning violations happening, but no one cares. There is a group of guys strung out on some shit in one room, playing some video game. I’m relieved I don’t recognize any of them as former - or current – students. Tim has a girl sitting on his lap, a girl I do recognize. She’s a senior this year and I wonder if I should be calling the cops. She might be eighteen, but this has got to be a violation of some ethical rule, but then again, I am one big fucking violation lately. Her name’s Trina and she is high as fuck and playing with Tim’s cock, which is not even hard. It’s just flopped between his legs and Trina seems frustrated that she can’t get it to work. Of
“I can’t.” He says it like there is no debate, like we can’t work through it.
“Yes, you can.”
“You don’t understand. Even if I could or even if I wanted to, Tim would never let me out. My only shot is to win big – and then lose big.”
“What do you mean?”
Lucas leans forward. “If I win and make it big, Tim will promote me. I will be his star. If I can get several fights under my belt, and get into the big money, then I will be set. And then, if I want out, I just need to stop winning. Eventually, he will get sick of me losing and move on.”
“But you could be killed before that happens. Look at Kade.”
“Speaking of… maybe we should go see Kade. Because I can take that fight and Tim will pay me double if I can win it, now that Kade humiliated him by getting his ass kicked.”
Lucas’s logic is circular and stupid. If he takes that fight, he will die. But he won’t listen to me. I decide to go along with his stupid plan for one reason only. Maybe seeing how badly Kade is hurt will scare the shit out of him like it did to me. And he will get the fuck out. I would let him move in with me at this point, if it would get him off the fucking meth and away from Tim.
I agree to go to the hospital and I drive. I don’t think Lucas is high, but who knows? It’s sad that there is no one in the hospital visiting Kade and I almost feel bad for him, before remembering he is kind of an asshole. He’s not conscious and the nurses say that it could be a while before he wakes up. I hope Lucas sees Kade lying here, tubes in him and needing machines to breathe, and realizes how ridiculous everything about his lifestyle is. However, he seems merely agitated that he can’t get some pointers from Kade.
“He could have died,” I remind Lucas.
“Someone needs to win that fight. May as well be me.”
I look between Kade and Lucas and sigh. Lucas is half Kade’s size. If this is what the fight did to Kade, imagine what it would do to Lucas.
“I can’t support you in this,” I tell him.
“Too bad. I need you to come with me now, to help me talk Tim into a redo.”
“Lucas, I can’t help you get killed.”
He leans close and pulls me to him roughly. “I won’t get killed. But I can’t be what you want if I don’t fucking start winning again. And I just know that all your convictions mean nothing when you get wet enough.”
“That’s a shitty thing to say,” I tell him.
“Is it?” He asks as he slips his hand down my pants and fingers my clit. Jesus, I want him. Is he right? Am I willing to do anything, at the cost of his safety, if he just gets me horny? I try to back away, but he holds me tight and brings me right to the edge of coming.
“You come with me – and then you can come for me,” he demands.
I don’t know why I go. Because I’m weak? Because I care for him too much to let him go alone? I wish I understood, and I wish I knew why I can’t stay away from him and all his fucked up bullshit that was going to bring the world down around me.
Nine
Tim Pollen is still an asshole. His house is a fucking mess and there are probably a number of health hazards as well as zoning violations happening, but no one cares. There is a group of guys strung out on some shit in one room, playing some video game. I’m relieved I don’t recognize any of them as former - or current – students. Tim has a girl sitting on his lap, a girl I do recognize. She’s a senior this year and I wonder if I should be calling the cops. She might be eighteen, but this has got to be a violation of some ethical rule, but then again, I am one big fucking violation lately. Her name’s Trina and she is high as fuck and playing with Tim’s cock, which is not even hard. It’s just flopped between his legs and Trina seems frustrated that she can’t get it to work. Of
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