Tease Me by Donna Kauffman Page A

him a test drive,
     and we figured you’d think we were meddling old women if we told you Lillian’s masseuse
     was a man.”
    She didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Despite Irma’s brusque attitude, she knew
     Irma really cared about her. “I thought we all agreed after Charlie that you two wouldn’t
     interfere in my love life again.”
    “Did I say anything about your love life?” Irma retorted. “I just wanted to know if
     he was any good.” She leaned closer, her faded gray eyes sparkling. “So was he?”
    Ida leaned forward. “Did he ask you out, dear?”
    “He’s unmarried,” Irma added.
    Ida nodded, her eyes twinkling too. “And a real hunk.”
    Lainey sighed. The gentle route was obviously not working. “I don’t care if he’s an
     unmarried hunk. I’m not interested in dating right now.”
    “Where is he taking you?” Ida scooted her chair forward. Even Mr. Max was sitting
     up with his ears perked at full attention.
    “Who said he asked me out? I didn’t—”
    “For heaven’s sake, I hope you didn’t say yes right away,” Irma said flatly. “It’s
     not as if you have any competition around here. Don’t be too eager, or he’ll think
     you’re easy.”
    “Irma!” Ida pressed her hand to her chest.
    Irma sniffed. “Just looking out for our Madelaine, Ida. If she’d have been more careful
     with Charlie, she’d have probably—”
    “Ended up exactly how I did,” Lainey said. “And I only went out with him on your sterling
     recommendations and so your feelings wouldn’t be hurt.”
    Both of their expressions immediately fell, leaving Lainey feeling as if she’d just
     kicked Mr. Max.
    She sighed. “Listen, I appreciate that you care about me, I really do. But—”
    “Don’t let one bad apple sour you on the rest of the bunch,” Ida said, jumping right
     back into it.
    “Two bad apples,” Irma said. “Remember her louse of a husband. And who knows how many
     before that.”
    “Irma, for heaven’s sake, don’t remind the dear girl of her failures.”
    “
My
failures?” Lainey said. She stopped abruptly and took a slow, deep breath. She should
     have known better than to fall for their pouts. After eighty years of practice, the
     sisters knew all the tricks and weren’t the least bit afraid to use as many of them
     as they deemed necessary. Once decided on a course of action, nothing short of death
     would deviate them from their path. And she was almost convinced the sisters were
     immortal.
    She had to find some way to end this right now. She’d made many bad choices in her
     life, number one on the list being her ex-husband, Conrad. She’d married him for all
     the wrong reasons, and in the end her impulsive choice had hurt them both. It had
     taken a lot of teeth gnashing for her to include her ex-mother-in-law in the category
     of innocent bystander, but two years and a thousand miles had made it a bit easier
     to be gracious. When she’d decidedto stay in Florida, Lainey had also decided it was time to grow up and set some serious
     goals and guidelines for her life.
    Then Charlie had come along, another prime example of Lainey making bad choices for
     the wrong reasons. But it had been a worthy lesson.
    She took a breath and faced the sisters. “I appreciate your wanting to see me happy,
     really I do,” she said earnestly. “But trust me, right now I’m happiest just being
     on my own. I highly recommend Tucker for his masseur skills, but as for anything else,
     I’m not interested. I’m serious about this and would appreciate it if you two would
     help me out. Okay?”
    They both nodded, then made their good-byes, but Lainey didn’t believe for a second
     that her little speech had convinced them to end their interference. But it didn’t
     really matter, because her little speech had convinced her. Tucker had been a fun,
     harmless diversion. She’d consider her appointment that morning her last impulsive
     fling. But that was the beginning