along you’re dilated. I need you to just lay back and relax for me okay?”
For a second I panic. “Wait!”
“What’s the matter?” The nurse says with a worried look on her face. My face feels really hot and I know I’m blushing. I crook my finger at her, wanting her to come closer. I really don’t want to say this out loud. I mean, it’s embarrassing enough having someone fixing to stick their fingers in my vagina. And I really don’t want him knowing what I’m about to say.
“What is it, Miss Walker?”
She leans down and I whisper in her ear, “I … I didn’t shave. You know … down there? I can’t see down there anymore, and I really don’t know if I’m comfortable with you seeing me with a hairy vagina.”
She leans back and smiles at me. I can tell she’s trying not to laugh, but I’m dead serious. “Miss Walker, trust me when I say, that’s the least of my worries. Just lay back and relax for me alright?”
I nod and I let out a loud sigh. This is the part I hate the most. I grab onto my savior’s hand and try to prepare myself for the uncomfortable feeling I know is coming. The nurse is actually very quick at her exam. I silently thank her for not fully uncovering me as well. As she gently pushes her fingers inside of me I wince and turn my head towards him. I close my eyes and finally relax when he says something to me in Russian. I don’t worry about anything else as he continues to talk to me. I know this must be awkward for him. It’s strange, embarrassing, and uncomfortable for me too. I guess I can tell him to leave, but I really don’t want to. The nurse finishes, takes off her gloves, and smiles at me.
“You’re moving along nicely. You’re about six and a half centimeters dilated. Shouldn’t be too much longer now. Did you sign the form for your epidural?”
“Yes, I did, at my last appointment. When can I get that? I’m dying over here.”
“I’ll let the anesthesiologist know and he’ll be in here shortly. If you need anything just hit the call button, okay?”
She leaves the room and I’m left alone with the stranger. I’m just thankful the nurse was kind enough to give me some sort of pain medicine. It has really helped with the indescribable pain. I finally let go of his hand and I close my eyes trying not to think of what’s going to happen soon. I know I’ve had months to prepare for this baby, but when it’s happening, I feel like it wouldn’t matter how prepared I am, I’d still feel this way. I don’t even let myself think of Malcolm leaving me all alone and having nowhere to go. Or have no way to take care of my baby.
“Feeling better now?”
I open my eyes and I see those dark intense green eyes looking back at me. For some reason I feel as though he’s worried about me. Which is ridiculous. He doesn’t know me. Why would a stranger be worried about me? I don’t want to feel my heart start to race when I think about him still being here, or how being so close is making me want him to never leave. What is it about him that’s making me feel this way?
“Yeah, I’m better than before. Thank you for bringing me here. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t stopped.”
“YA dumayu, chto eto kak sud'ba vmeshalas' v.”
“What? I have no idea what you’re saying. Is that Russian?”
He chuckles and says, “Sorry. I forget sometimes. Yes, it’s Russian.”
“So, you’re from Russia? What are you doing in Tennessee?”
“Yes. I’ve been in this country for about ten years, or more now. I have a business in Nashville.”
“What sort of business?” I don’t know what makes me start asking him so many questions. I feel the need to get to know him, and he’s actually easy to talk to. Strange as that may be. I think again, maybe it’s the drugs making me act this way. I’m normally shy around strangers.
“I own my own club.”
“Like a night club? Where all the young adults go these days to get
For a second I panic. “Wait!”
“What’s the matter?” The nurse says with a worried look on her face. My face feels really hot and I know I’m blushing. I crook my finger at her, wanting her to come closer. I really don’t want to say this out loud. I mean, it’s embarrassing enough having someone fixing to stick their fingers in my vagina. And I really don’t want him knowing what I’m about to say.
“What is it, Miss Walker?”
She leans down and I whisper in her ear, “I … I didn’t shave. You know … down there? I can’t see down there anymore, and I really don’t know if I’m comfortable with you seeing me with a hairy vagina.”
She leans back and smiles at me. I can tell she’s trying not to laugh, but I’m dead serious. “Miss Walker, trust me when I say, that’s the least of my worries. Just lay back and relax for me alright?”
I nod and I let out a loud sigh. This is the part I hate the most. I grab onto my savior’s hand and try to prepare myself for the uncomfortable feeling I know is coming. The nurse is actually very quick at her exam. I silently thank her for not fully uncovering me as well. As she gently pushes her fingers inside of me I wince and turn my head towards him. I close my eyes and finally relax when he says something to me in Russian. I don’t worry about anything else as he continues to talk to me. I know this must be awkward for him. It’s strange, embarrassing, and uncomfortable for me too. I guess I can tell him to leave, but I really don’t want to. The nurse finishes, takes off her gloves, and smiles at me.
“You’re moving along nicely. You’re about six and a half centimeters dilated. Shouldn’t be too much longer now. Did you sign the form for your epidural?”
“Yes, I did, at my last appointment. When can I get that? I’m dying over here.”
“I’ll let the anesthesiologist know and he’ll be in here shortly. If you need anything just hit the call button, okay?”
She leaves the room and I’m left alone with the stranger. I’m just thankful the nurse was kind enough to give me some sort of pain medicine. It has really helped with the indescribable pain. I finally let go of his hand and I close my eyes trying not to think of what’s going to happen soon. I know I’ve had months to prepare for this baby, but when it’s happening, I feel like it wouldn’t matter how prepared I am, I’d still feel this way. I don’t even let myself think of Malcolm leaving me all alone and having nowhere to go. Or have no way to take care of my baby.
“Feeling better now?”
I open my eyes and I see those dark intense green eyes looking back at me. For some reason I feel as though he’s worried about me. Which is ridiculous. He doesn’t know me. Why would a stranger be worried about me? I don’t want to feel my heart start to race when I think about him still being here, or how being so close is making me want him to never leave. What is it about him that’s making me feel this way?
“Yeah, I’m better than before. Thank you for bringing me here. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t stopped.”
“YA dumayu, chto eto kak sud'ba vmeshalas' v.”
“What? I have no idea what you’re saying. Is that Russian?”
He chuckles and says, “Sorry. I forget sometimes. Yes, it’s Russian.”
“So, you’re from Russia? What are you doing in Tennessee?”
“Yes. I’ve been in this country for about ten years, or more now. I have a business in Nashville.”
“What sort of business?” I don’t know what makes me start asking him so many questions. I feel the need to get to know him, and he’s actually easy to talk to. Strange as that may be. I think again, maybe it’s the drugs making me act this way. I’m normally shy around strangers.
“I own my own club.”
“Like a night club? Where all the young adults go these days to get
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