Terra Nova: An Anthology of Contemporary Spanish Science Fiction by Mariano Villarreal Page B

biggest hint was to feel
how you were involved in helping your younger sister learn,
insisting that she recognize you and remember you.”
    “ But … why didn’t you say
anything?”
    “ Because that was part of
what you needed to learn.”
    “ What I needed to learn?
What?”
    “ I perceive that you’re
angry. Understandable, but you need to make a bigger effort not to
show it so much.”
    “ Mama, please, could you
stop acting like a queen and be my mother for once?”
    “ Charni, don’t be a little
girl. Everything I do and say is as your mother because I only want
what’s best for my daughter. Because of who you are, whether you
wind up being a queen or not, you’re going to be the object of envy
and trickery. I only want you to be strong and learn for yourself
how to use the means to survive in this world because, young woman,
this has only just begun. After your ritual of initiation,
everything is going to be different from what you’ve lived until
now. The competition will be brutal. Being an adult isn’t easy,
Charni, not at all.”
    “ I know that.”
    “ No, you don’t. Believe
me.”
    “ Fine, you’re right. As
you’ve taught me, talking about what you don’t know or haven’t
perceived first-hand leads to self-deception or lies. But what does
this have to do with not telling me about my sisters?”
    “ More than you think. To
begin with, what isn’t spoken of tells us more than what is spoken
of. In the same way, if you want to learn about something, it’s
good to investigate it, but in the end you have to stop beating
around the bush, no matter how uncomfortable it may turn out. And
finally, the connections you create with other women will be key to
your development as a person. It’s important to chose wisely. Qalja
got bad advice. As for Kesha … it was a terrible
deceit.”
    “ Then I was right. … Lain
caused Qalja’s death, right?”
    “ I can’t prove it, but I’m
sure of it. Ever since she was a child, Qalja was very sensitive
and too easily influenced, and she could never fit in. Lain was
your sister’s bedmate, the same way Nanji was for you in practicing
body exploration. Qalja confused this complicity with friendship.
But the links between body and mind are different. Although you
trust Nanji, something tells me that when Deva officially becomes a
young woman, you’ll make her your mentor, am I wrong?”
    “ Of course I will. Deva is
my best friend. But what does this have to do with my
sister?”
    “ Kesha never had anyone
like Deva. She never had a connection with any other girl. She was
too suspicious, too anxious. … In the end, she was too bright, too
clever to let herself be fooled by the rest of the girls and
eventually she asked questions that no one else had ever asked … or
had ever wanted to ask. And when she realized that men saw better
with her and constantly chose her, she thought she was special and
had the right to chose.”
    “ Strange. That’s not what
I’ve learned. From what I understand, the problem was that she fell
in love. I don’t know what that means, but …”
    “ To fall in love means
having two feelings that are opposite to the philosophy of balance
of Ksatrya women: selfishness and pride. Selfishness is harmful but
treatable, but pride is completely intolerable. It’s already so
hard to deal with in men that we can’t allow a woman to develop it.
To fall in love with a woman is perfectly normal, and it can be
tolerated because in spite of involving those two feelings, it
doesn’t upset the balance. To fall in love with a man is treason.
Period.”
    “ I … I don’t
understand.”
    “ A woman who falls in love
with a man is selfish and will do everything she can to make sure
that he only spills information in her. But the information belongs
to everyone, and that is beyond discussion or debate. On the other
hand, a woman who falls in love believes she’s better than any
other woman in general, so she has the right to chose