about a book that profiled post-mastectomy women. I was told it included one woman who spoke of how free she felt without breasts, how the surgery had given her back that preadolescent “tomboy” time in her life. I couldn’t find the book, but it helped knowing this woman was out there somewhere in the world.
Apparently, she was unusual. Most women I talked with were excited about reconstruction. They wanted to convince me howreal it looked and felt. I was glad they’d been able to come through a difficult experience feeling whole and positive about the decisions they’d made. However, my inner voice continued to say no—reconstruction did
not
appeal to me. Go through yet another surgery either for implants or to have a piece of my abdominal muscle cut out and stitched to my chest? For what?
Breasts? Who cares?
That’s how I felt.
I talked to everyone in my life. They all agreed to support me in whatever I did, but I still felt alone in making my choice. A few weeks before my surgery, I had dinner with my four closest women friends. We started joking about the
advantages
of having no breasts. Our Top Ten list helped me face my surgery with courage and, just as important, humor.
My surgeon was surprised by my choice for a double mastectomy. However, since he knew I could always opt for reconstruction later, he didn’t try to talk me out of it. I felt in my heart I would be fine without breasts. Even though I could find no role model I could talk to, no one who had gone before me, I did it anyway.
The surgery went well; I healed quickly. And you know what? I haven’t looked back. I feel free! No more bras! In some ways, I even feel sexier than I did before. At home I still walk around naked before my husband and children without shame, and I don’t hide myself in a changing booth at the Y. No, it hasn’t been easy. I have had to work on rebuilding my body image. I joined a gym and started lifting weights again. Though I sometimes contemplate donning a prosthesis C-cup for a special occasion, so far I am living flat-chested with absolutely no regrets about my decision.
When I talk to women now facing a mastectomy, I know the chances are slim they will follow in my footsteps. I talk about how free I feel, and they listen politely. Then they tell me they will reconstruct. I keep telling my story, however, hoping that someday, when another woman makes the choice I did, she will know she isn’t alone.
The Top Ten Advantages to Having
Both Breasts Removed
10. Quick way to lose a few pounds.
9. If bad things happen in threes, this counts for two.
8. Wardrobe overhaul required.
7. One less excuse for not running a marathon.
6. Guaranteed to knock six strokes off your golf game.
5. No more mammograms.
4. Makes cross-dressing a whole lot easier.
3. Every morning you get to decide if you want to be an A, B, C, D—or no cup at all!
2. “Hey, baby, want to see my mastectomy scars?” makes a great pickup line.
1. You will never be mistaken for a waitress at Hooters.
lynda gaines, manager of telesales for a small software company in Jamestown, Rhode Island, sent this submission in on a dare from her mother (the one who raised her to be a nudie, remember?). Lynda’s mama, who is also a breast-cancer survivor, feels her daughter is bold and courageous for making her choice. She thought her role-model daughter should share the experience so other women could explore all their options, too.
Divine Perfection
anitra winder
I was born twenty-six years ago to my mother, my closest stranger. Sonya was only eighteen, a rambling teenager in the projects of Baltimore. She conceived me with one of the popularneighborhood Black studs. But Sonya had a lot of traffic coming her way, so it’s anybody’s guess who daddy is. With my creation came years of poverty, regret, and upheaval. We lived a nomadic existence, never laying our heads anywhere for long.
My unstable childhood walked hand in hand with an unstable education. During
Apparently, she was unusual. Most women I talked with were excited about reconstruction. They wanted to convince me howreal it looked and felt. I was glad they’d been able to come through a difficult experience feeling whole and positive about the decisions they’d made. However, my inner voice continued to say no—reconstruction did
not
appeal to me. Go through yet another surgery either for implants or to have a piece of my abdominal muscle cut out and stitched to my chest? For what?
Breasts? Who cares?
That’s how I felt.
I talked to everyone in my life. They all agreed to support me in whatever I did, but I still felt alone in making my choice. A few weeks before my surgery, I had dinner with my four closest women friends. We started joking about the
advantages
of having no breasts. Our Top Ten list helped me face my surgery with courage and, just as important, humor.
My surgeon was surprised by my choice for a double mastectomy. However, since he knew I could always opt for reconstruction later, he didn’t try to talk me out of it. I felt in my heart I would be fine without breasts. Even though I could find no role model I could talk to, no one who had gone before me, I did it anyway.
The surgery went well; I healed quickly. And you know what? I haven’t looked back. I feel free! No more bras! In some ways, I even feel sexier than I did before. At home I still walk around naked before my husband and children without shame, and I don’t hide myself in a changing booth at the Y. No, it hasn’t been easy. I have had to work on rebuilding my body image. I joined a gym and started lifting weights again. Though I sometimes contemplate donning a prosthesis C-cup for a special occasion, so far I am living flat-chested with absolutely no regrets about my decision.
When I talk to women now facing a mastectomy, I know the chances are slim they will follow in my footsteps. I talk about how free I feel, and they listen politely. Then they tell me they will reconstruct. I keep telling my story, however, hoping that someday, when another woman makes the choice I did, she will know she isn’t alone.
The Top Ten Advantages to Having
Both Breasts Removed
10. Quick way to lose a few pounds.
9. If bad things happen in threes, this counts for two.
8. Wardrobe overhaul required.
7. One less excuse for not running a marathon.
6. Guaranteed to knock six strokes off your golf game.
5. No more mammograms.
4. Makes cross-dressing a whole lot easier.
3. Every morning you get to decide if you want to be an A, B, C, D—or no cup at all!
2. “Hey, baby, want to see my mastectomy scars?” makes a great pickup line.
1. You will never be mistaken for a waitress at Hooters.
lynda gaines, manager of telesales for a small software company in Jamestown, Rhode Island, sent this submission in on a dare from her mother (the one who raised her to be a nudie, remember?). Lynda’s mama, who is also a breast-cancer survivor, feels her daughter is bold and courageous for making her choice. She thought her role-model daughter should share the experience so other women could explore all their options, too.
Divine Perfection
anitra winder
I was born twenty-six years ago to my mother, my closest stranger. Sonya was only eighteen, a rambling teenager in the projects of Baltimore. She conceived me with one of the popularneighborhood Black studs. But Sonya had a lot of traffic coming her way, so it’s anybody’s guess who daddy is. With my creation came years of poverty, regret, and upheaval. We lived a nomadic existence, never laying our heads anywhere for long.
My unstable childhood walked hand in hand with an unstable education. During
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