of course not. Ben would freak if I told them.”
“Have you told your mom?”
Her eyes open wide. “No way!”
Okay, maybe I can see her point. Mrs. McCabe would flip out and then be furious with both Ben and Nat. She was barely keeping it together at the wedding. Maybe it’s better to leave her out of this.
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
“ Do ?”
“Yeah.”
She just shrugs.
“You can’t just let this go on. I mean it’s definitely not good for Ben. It’s not good for you either. And what about when the baby comes?”
“I know. That’s what I keep telling him. But then he just gets really mad…” She looks down at her rounded stomach.
I think about this for a moment. It’s just all so weird. Ben O’Conner drinking so much that he’s drunk, vomiting on the floor, and then getting mad? “How mad?” I ask Nat in a quiet tone.
“Really, really angry.” She looks up at me now. There are new tears in her eyes. “He says horrible things to me, Kim. I—I think he hates me.” And then she loses it.
I put my arms around her and hold her while she cries really hard. All I can think is, why—why—why? Why did Nat allow herself to get to this place? Why is she staying here? It’s obviously seriously messed up.What’s the point? Finally, she’s pretty much stopped crying, and she leans back into the futon and wipes her nose on the sleeve of her fairly grimy looking sweatshirt.
“I know you think I’m pathetic, Kim.” She looks down at her lap. “But I love him.”
I don’t say anything just yet. I’m trying to figure out what’s best to say. Finally I pray silently, asking God to give me the right words. I’ve blown it with Nat enough times in the past to know that this situation is going to take something more.
“Nat…” I begin slowly, “I know you love Ben. But you can see that there’s a problem here.”
She nods.
“And I know you’ve been trying really hard to make things work. And you’ve had a good attitude and everything…”
“I’m trying.”
“But maybe this thing—this marriage with Ben—maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” I say.
She sits up straighter now. “We made our vows, Kam,” she says in a firm voice. “We promised God and each other that we would stay together for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and I intend to keep that promise.”
I nod, wondering how to possibly counter that. What would Jamie say? “But what if Ben can’t keep those vows, Nat? What if he—”
“He has to keep those vows. He has to stick with me. I’m having his baby. We’re a family.” She’s wavingher hands for emphasis. “Yeah, I know it looks bad right now. Were just going through a rough period. It’s hard on Ben. He’s not used to working and going to school. And those guys he hangs with after work.” She just shakes her head. “They’re the worst. If he’d just lose the losers, everything would be fine.”
I don’t say anything.
“And, we need to get to church. We need to make it to youth group. Ben didn’t work last Saturday, but he went out with his new buddies. I was too embarrassed to come by myself.”
Now I hear a noise from the bedroom, and it sounds like Ben is waking up, and suddenly I feel totally weird being here. It’s like I’m completely out of my realm, and I really don’t know how to deal with this. “Nat, I love you, but something is really wrong here. And I’m worried about you. And Ben too.” I stand up and move toward the door. “You guys need help.”
“Do not tell anyone, Kim,” she says, standing too.
“How can I not?”
“You’re my best friend,” she says with a creased brow. “And I never would’ve told you if I didn’t think I could trust you. Ben and I are going to deal with this. And we don’t need a bunch of people interfering.”
“You guys need some kind of help.”
“No, we’re going to get through this, Kim. Pastor Tony told us during our premarital counseling that
Shelley Bradley
Jake Logan
Sarah J. Maas
Jane Feather
Susan Aldous, Nicola Pierce
Lin Carter
Jude Deveraux
Rhonda Gibson
A.O. Peart
Michael Innes