That Wedding by Jillian Dodd Page B

would always say back, You know why women are bad at measurements, don't you? He'd turn red and say, Shut up , because he knew what I was gonna say. I'd always finish the joke anyway, holding my fingers about three inches apart and saying, That's cuz guys always tell us that THIS is six inches . Danny was never embarrassed by that joke, in fact, he often fired back, Only looks like about an inch to me . Of course, implying that he's huge. Let's just say Danny has a big ego and leave it at that.
    To get the tent to fit, I have to move the couch up against the kitchen table. It's also blocking the hallway, so you have to climb over the back of it to get to the bathroom, but that's a minor detail. I focus on making the tent a den of seduction. I climb over the couch, strip the comforter and blanket off my bed, and spread them across the tent floor. Then I add every pillow and throw that I own.

    After work, I make up bowls of all Phillip's favorite middle school candy, a batch of popcorn, and fill a small cooler with beer. I change into little pajama boxers and a tight tank top. I even go sans bra just for the hell of it, and before I know it, Phillip's home.
    My plan is to pretend we're in middle school. We'll eat popcorn, munch on candy, drink some beer, and I'll challenge him to a game of strip poker. We'll play cards and slowly get naked. Phillip will be so overwhelmed with desire for me, he won't be able to control himself. He'll attack me, and it'll be amazing.
    My plan goes astray the second Phillip walks in the door and runs straight into the tent. He backs up and laughs at the huge tent in the middle of the living room. He looks so damn cute, I just can't help myself. I tell him no clothing allowed, strip that boy naked, and lead him into the tent.

 
    I called Phillip's parents and told them what I'd planned for this weekend. I even spilled my guts to Phillip's dad about what happened at Danny and Lori's wedding. Beings he'd heard the rumors, I thought I'd set the record straight. He was all for me making it up to Phillip.
    I'm up at five am, which is way earlier than even Phillip usually gets up. I hear the phone ring, and Phillip hit speaker. His dad's voice booms into the room. "Son, I hear you're taking the day off."
    Phillip says groggily, "Uh...what? Who did you hear that from?"
    "Your mom."
    "Mom? Why would she....oh, no, is she making us do wedding planning? I don't think JJ is ready for that, and I'd really rather come to work."
    I hear his dad say, "I think you better talk to your future bride about that. Have a great day."
    Phillip looks confused when I come into the bedroom and say, "Hey."
    "What's going on, and why the hell are you up so early?"
    "Well, I have a little surprise for you, sweetie."
    "You only call me sweetie when you want your way. We're doing wedding planning with my mom all day, aren't we?"
    "Nope, but you better hurry up and get dressed. We have a flight to catch."
    "A flight? Where are we going? I'm not packed."
    "I packed for you, and we're going on a naughty dream road trip."
    Phillip grins big and wipes the sleep out of his eyes. "Really? So where are we going?"
    "It's a surprise."
    "Is it somewhere I dreamed about?"
    "I don't know, honestly, but I think you hoped it'd go differently. And that's all I'm saying."
    We get to the airport, and of course, he sees where we're going.
    "Cancun, huh?"
    "Yeah, you good with that?"
    "Oh, yeah. Are we staying somewhere we have maybe stayed before?"
    "We sure as hell aren't staying at that dive we stayed at that one year for spring break, but, yeah, we might be."
    "Lori and Danny's wedding?"
    "Bingo. You're smart."
    "And what are we gonna do there?"
    "Probably the same things we did when we were there for the wedding."
    "That wasn't fun."
    "Well, there might be some new twists to the story this time, but I'll warn you, just like at the wedding, I got us separate rooms."
    "You're such a liar."
    "Stop asking me questions I don't want you to know the