The ABCs of Love by Sarah Salway Page A

wrong thing for her to do when mothers are so easily replaced.
    See also Daisies; Engagement Ring; Illness; The Queen II;
Stepmothers; Underwear
    money
    Not many people know that if you put a two-pound coin in the freezer and wait until it is completely frozen, you can then press the middle bit out with your thumbs.
    Mind you, this makes it difficult to use, so you can do this only if you have money to spare.
    John has started talking about money a lot. It makes me feel uncomfortable because we have such different ideas about it. He thinks if he ever had any spare cash, it would be his duty to spend as much of it as he could. Not just on himself, but on making other people happy. I told him that when I was young, I always used to be very helpful to old people on buses because I thought they might then leave all their money to the little girl who was so kind to them. Every time I heard the doorbell ring, I would wonder whether this was my reward coming. Now John says that he wants money so he can leave it to a complete stranger when he dies. Maybe someone whose name he pulls out of a phone book at random and who will always be perplexed by why he or she was chosen.
    See also Love Calculators; Surnames; Utopia
    money—even more of it
    Of course, when my parents died and left me an inheritance, I knew why they chose me. I just didn’t expect it to be so much. Money wasn’t something we ever talked about at home. Even the solicitor was surprised. He kept going on about the Responsibility. About how I was almost an “heiress” now. It made me think of Joan Crawford somehow. All hard and glittery but with ample shoulder pads to bear all that Responsibility.
    Everyone was so kind to me after my father passed away. Sally took me home, and I slept in her family’s spare bedroom for a week. Her mother made me cups of tea, and her father teased me, and every time I cried, they thought it was because I was sad about my parents. They didn’t realize it was because I was so comfortable there. This is what I wanted for the rest of my life. And I couldn’t bear the guilt of that.
    This is why I don’t want the money. It changes everything. Sally’s parents would have expected me to check into a hotel, not taken me under their wing like they did. So I worked it out with my solicitor that no one need know anything about it. We’ve let out my parents’ house through a letting agency, and what with that and the income from my stocks and shares, I don’t need to worry about anything anymore. He even gives me pocket money as if he’s my father. He insists I go to his office every month to go through things, although I trust him absolutely and only pretend to check the figures.
    The trouble is, you can’t go to bed with money. It can’t hug you and stroke you and tell you that everything is going to be all right. As soon as you have it, it covers you up, so everyone expects you to take charge. To be the one to tell everyone else that everything is going to be all right. To take the Responsibility.
    In fact, my solicitor is the only person who knows about the legacy. Sometimes if I try very hard, I can forget about it myself. I can even enjoy dreaming with John about how we would spend our imaginary millions. This has become one of our favorite topics of conversation. Sometimes I wonder if it is what holds us together. We have such plans that would all come true if only we had the money.
    See also Danger; Jealousy; Teaching; Velvet; Yields
    mustache
    I had the idea to make a giant heart out of chicken wire and fill it with white fairy lights as a surprise for John. I went to the hardware shop to get the stuff but wasn’t sure what wire cutters to buy. When I asked someone, I suddenly found myself surrounded by four men offering me different advice. They were all very interested in what I was doing, and two of them even offered to come round and help me if I hit problems.
    On my way home, it struck me that I had stumbled onto