throwing it again, catching it, throwing it again. The prints shook as the ball hit the wall. No, really, what? he said. I told them you didn’t live here, she said. I told them you have a body odour problem you have to go to the doctor about. I said you were at a special clinic taking medication. I told them your nickname was Wankstain. I told them you were gay. They were both really ugly. The one with the belly button was infected. One of them had a scar like this all down her face. They both smelt disgusting of dead fish.
He caught her powerball in mid air. He ran up all the stairs to the second floor with her screaming give it back all the way up past the bedrooms, grabbing at his arm when he went up the ladder to the loft. He threw it out of the velux, it fell deep into the shrubbery where she’d never find it. She said she didn’t care about a powerball so he went to her room to get her old Gameboy. He threw it out of the window down into the bushes too. For nights he tried to work out who those girls had been. He made lists inside his head of the ones who had pierced belly buttons, at least the ones he knew about. It was amazing that a girl with a piercing would want to come to his house. He had lain in bed doing it with a sock, imagining one of those girls was Anna Leto. A girl like Anna Leto would never have come to his house looking for him, would she? She definitely had a piercing. It was legendary. She ran the hundred metres. Athletes aren’t supposed to have them. They tried to give her a hard time about it but because she kept winning things for the school they couldn’t. After the soldiers went into Iraq Anna Leto was still anti-war. This made a lot of other people be it. Hologram Boy believed in order vs chaos. Obviously some countries knew more about good order than others. But if Anna Leto was anti-war then it wasn’t all wasters desperate to get off classes on protests who were it. Even Hologram Boy was nearly persuaded. Magnus thinks of the moment when Anna Leto stood up in class to tell them to be anti-war.
But he daren’t remember properly. He doesn’t dare let it into his head in case. Because there they all are by his garden gate. They’re waiting for him, the girls. All the girls he will ever know. Every girl he is ever going to look at. Every girl who is ever going to look at him. They all have it, her face, the school photograph face.
He glances up at the sky, then down again. Bright means dark. At his first Assembly on the first day of the school year Hologram Boy read out the reading about how the earth was a formless void. There was deep darkness. God said let there be light. There was light. God used the light to divide the day from the night. Anton had a new phone. It lit up. It played a dimensional tone. He was using it to take photos of bits of girls at Registration. He lined it up on passing girls, pressed the button. All the girls look the same this year, Anton said in his ear. He was pleased someone like Anton had singled him out to tell him something like that in his ear. Look, Anton said. They all look like they’re off porn sites. It was true. After you’ve looked at sites, all girls start to look like it. Commercials on tv begin to look like it. Singers on the music channels all look like it, well, the girls anyway.
He could ask Eve when he gets back if he could borrow her laptop. He could ask Michael, if she is busy on hers or doesn’t want anyone to touch it. He can work out the email, it is people’s names plus sp for school pupil dot deans dot co dot uk. Dear Catherine Masson. I am. I hope you don’t mind me. Please don’t mind me emailing you but. You don’t know me but. You have no idea how. I wanted to say I’m really. I’m so. Magnus is sick on to the grass by his hand. Nothing much comes up. For a moment he feels much much better. Then the good feeling goes. She walks into a classroom but all the faces are strange to her. She can’t make them out. They
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