The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett Page B

expect,” said Keith.
    â€œYou never said,” said Maurice accusingly.
    â€œIs it important?” asked Keith.
    â€œThere was a magic sword or a crown in the basket with you, probably. And you’ve got a mysterious tattoo or a strange-shaped birthmark, too,” said Malicia.
    â€œI don’t think so. No one ever mentioned them,” said Keith. “There was just me and a blanket. And a note.”
    â€œA note? But that’s important !”
    â€œIt said ‘19 pints and a strawberry yogurt,’” said Keith.
    â€œAh. Not helpful, then,” said Malicia. “Why nineteen pints of milk?”
    â€œIt was the Guild of Musicians,” said Keith. “Quite a large place. I don’t know about the strawberry yogurt.”
    â€œAbandoned orphan is good,” said Malicia. “After all, a prince can only grow up to be a king, but a mysterious orphan could be anybody . Were you beaten and starved and locked in a cellar?”
    â€œI don’t think so,” said Keith, giving her a funny look. “Everyone at the Guild was very kind. They were mostly nice people. They taught me a lot.”
    â€œWe’ve got Guilds here,” said Malicia. “They teach boys to be carpenters and stonemasons and things like that.”
    â€œThe Guild taught me music,” said Keith. “I’m a musician. I’m good at it, too. I’ve been earning my own living since I was six.”
    â€œAha! Mysterious orphan, strange talent, distressed upbringing…it’s all shaping up,” said Malicia. “The strawberry yogurt is probably not important. Would your life have been different if it had been banana flavored? Who can say? What kinds of music do you play?”
    â€œKinds? There aren’t any kinds. There’s just music,” said Keith. “There’s always music, if you listen.”
    Malicia looked at Maurice.
    â€œIs he always like this?” she demanded.
    â€œThis is the most I’ve ever heard him say,” said the cat.
    â€œI expect you’re very keen to know all about me,” said Malicia. “I expect you’re just too polite to ask.”
    â€œGosh, yes,” said Maurice.
    â€œWell, you probably won’t be surprised to know that I’ve got two dreadful stepsisters,” said Malicia. “And I have to do all the chores!”
    â€œGosh, really,” said Maurice, wondering if there were any more fish heads and, if there were any more fish heads, whether they were worth all this.
    â€œWell, most of the chores,” said Malicia, as if revealing an unfortunate fact. “Some of them, definitely. I have to clean up my own room, you know! And it’s extremely untidy!”
    â€œGosh, really.”
    â€œ And it’s very nearly the smallest bedroom. There’s practically no closets and I’m running out of bookshelf space!”
    â€œGosh, really.”
    â€œAnd people are incredibly cruel to me. You will note that we’re here in a kitchen . And I’m the mayor’s daughter. Should the daughter of a mayorbe expected to wash up at least once a week? I think not !”
    â€œGosh, really.”
    â€œAnd will you just look at these torn and bedraggled clothes I have to wear!”
    Maurice looked. He wasn’t good on clothes. Fur was enough for him. As far as he could tell, Malicia’s dress was pretty much like any other dress. It seemed to be all there. There weren’t any holes, except where the arms and head poked through.
    â€œHere, just here,” said Malicia, pointing to a place on the hem which, to Maurice, looked no different from the rest of the dress. “I had to sew that back myself, you know?”
    â€œGosh, re—” Maurice stopped. Sardines was rapelling down from a crack in the ancient ceiling. He had a knapsack on his back.
    â€œAnd on top of this I’m the one who has to line up for the bread and sausages every