Vernon without sounding like a slut or an idiot that he couldn’t stop thinking about a man he met once a month to have ridiculously hot sex with?
“Oh, you’re hooking up?”
Reed gaped at Vernon, who looked extremely proud of himself.
“Ha. Bet you didn’t think I know what that means.”
“Well, yeah.” Plus, it sounded really funny coming out of Vernon’s mouth to begin with.
“I get MTV. I watch Teen Mom .” At Reed’s disbelieving stare, Vernon shrugged. “Sometimes I can’t sleep and there ain’t nothing else on late at night.”
“This is too weird.” Reed began to stack glasses underneath the bar.
“So what’s going on with you two? You don’t hardly see him; is that why you’re so jittery?”
“Damn.” Reed swore under his breath. Even Vernon noticed. He couldn’t get mad at him for the things he unwittingly said. Reed had more confidence in revealing his sexuality than his psychological issues and hadn’t told Vernon he suffered from anxiety, only ADHD. His mental state carried a stigma for him, not who he liked to sleep with.
His palms broke out in a sweat, and the familiar tightness crept through him, signaling his anxiety was on the rise. It was always hard to say when it might hit, but today Reed knew why. He’d woken up late and rushed out of the house without taking his medicine, and already he could see the difference in his lack of concentration and inability to start and finish one task. More than once tonight Vernon had to ask him to finish running the monthly numbers, but something inevitably distracted him, causing him to lose focus on the task at hand. Reed knew he was a mess: he couldn’t keep from running his hands through his hair or twisting his fingers together. Something, anything to cure himself of the rampant restlessness he’d been cursed with. He’d gone home during a lull and only taken his meds about an hour ago—they were just beginning to take effect.
At times like this Reed hated his weakness and wished he could rip the anxiety from his body. Wistfully, he’d watch the other students in class sitting so calm and focused, listening to the professor speak, taking notes he knew would be neatly precise, while under his skin an electrical current buzzed and he had to force himself to pay attention.
If he wasn’t twisting the bracelet he’d worn more than half his life—solely for the purpose of giving himself an outlet for his nervous energy—he doodled; anything to expend the constant energy revving through him. Mason would get annoyed at his actions and dubbed the bracelet his security blanket. He’d make a point to tell Reed he wished his oral fixation could channel all the excess energy into giving him more blowjobs. That more sex would cure him of all that anxiety. As usual, Mason turned the focus of everything, including Reed’s illness, on himself. When Reed pointed it out to him, Mason laughed, but Reed failed to find the humor in any of it.
The more he thought about it, Reed realized it was better for him and Carter to spend so little time together. Anything more and his secret might be discovered. A man like Carter would have no use for someone as mixed up in the head as Reed.
“No, I’m fine with the way things are; we’re both busy and not interested in a relationship, so this works.”
“Huh. Well, the way he looked at you that night, I’d say he’s got it bad.” Reed jumped as Vernon elbowed him in the side. “And you’re pretty hot for him too. So go on, get outta here. And at least make him take you out for a nice dinner before he jumps your bones.” Vernon turned away, cackling to himself.
Without another word Reed went to the office, put on his coat, picked up his duffel bag, and headed out into the rain-swept night. If ever there was a time to splurge on a cab, tonight was it, and after he hailed one and sank into the back seat, he texted Carter to let him know he was on his way.
Good. I’m waiting for
“Oh, you’re hooking up?”
Reed gaped at Vernon, who looked extremely proud of himself.
“Ha. Bet you didn’t think I know what that means.”
“Well, yeah.” Plus, it sounded really funny coming out of Vernon’s mouth to begin with.
“I get MTV. I watch Teen Mom .” At Reed’s disbelieving stare, Vernon shrugged. “Sometimes I can’t sleep and there ain’t nothing else on late at night.”
“This is too weird.” Reed began to stack glasses underneath the bar.
“So what’s going on with you two? You don’t hardly see him; is that why you’re so jittery?”
“Damn.” Reed swore under his breath. Even Vernon noticed. He couldn’t get mad at him for the things he unwittingly said. Reed had more confidence in revealing his sexuality than his psychological issues and hadn’t told Vernon he suffered from anxiety, only ADHD. His mental state carried a stigma for him, not who he liked to sleep with.
His palms broke out in a sweat, and the familiar tightness crept through him, signaling his anxiety was on the rise. It was always hard to say when it might hit, but today Reed knew why. He’d woken up late and rushed out of the house without taking his medicine, and already he could see the difference in his lack of concentration and inability to start and finish one task. More than once tonight Vernon had to ask him to finish running the monthly numbers, but something inevitably distracted him, causing him to lose focus on the task at hand. Reed knew he was a mess: he couldn’t keep from running his hands through his hair or twisting his fingers together. Something, anything to cure himself of the rampant restlessness he’d been cursed with. He’d gone home during a lull and only taken his meds about an hour ago—they were just beginning to take effect.
At times like this Reed hated his weakness and wished he could rip the anxiety from his body. Wistfully, he’d watch the other students in class sitting so calm and focused, listening to the professor speak, taking notes he knew would be neatly precise, while under his skin an electrical current buzzed and he had to force himself to pay attention.
If he wasn’t twisting the bracelet he’d worn more than half his life—solely for the purpose of giving himself an outlet for his nervous energy—he doodled; anything to expend the constant energy revving through him. Mason would get annoyed at his actions and dubbed the bracelet his security blanket. He’d make a point to tell Reed he wished his oral fixation could channel all the excess energy into giving him more blowjobs. That more sex would cure him of all that anxiety. As usual, Mason turned the focus of everything, including Reed’s illness, on himself. When Reed pointed it out to him, Mason laughed, but Reed failed to find the humor in any of it.
The more he thought about it, Reed realized it was better for him and Carter to spend so little time together. Anything more and his secret might be discovered. A man like Carter would have no use for someone as mixed up in the head as Reed.
“No, I’m fine with the way things are; we’re both busy and not interested in a relationship, so this works.”
“Huh. Well, the way he looked at you that night, I’d say he’s got it bad.” Reed jumped as Vernon elbowed him in the side. “And you’re pretty hot for him too. So go on, get outta here. And at least make him take you out for a nice dinner before he jumps your bones.” Vernon turned away, cackling to himself.
Without another word Reed went to the office, put on his coat, picked up his duffel bag, and headed out into the rain-swept night. If ever there was a time to splurge on a cab, tonight was it, and after he hailed one and sank into the back seat, he texted Carter to let him know he was on his way.
Good. I’m waiting for
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