The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition)

The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) by John Harding Page A

Book: The Bare Necessities (Non-Profane Edition) by John Harding Read Free Book Online
Authors: John Harding
Tags: Romance, nudism, naturism, music band
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get onto iTunes.”
    “You are,” Claire
replied. “Really good. But there's only one way to find out.”
Claire's eyes sparkled excitedly. “I've not felt like this before,
we should. We should definitely do something. We could be the
Undressed Couple or something.”
    Paige burst out
laughing, and Claire shrugged. They heard a door close behind them,
and Paige looked up at her bedroom door, as it slowly opened. “Are
you in for tea?” Her mother asked her naked daughter, and Paige
nodded.
    “Yeah,
please.”
    “And … Claire
isn't it?”
    Claire hummed and
nodded. “Yeah.”
    “I remember you
from the camp. Do you want a bite to eat? It's only Pizza.”
    “Thanks,” Claire
muttered and the door closed. “Now why can't Jack's mother have
done that?”
    “Because my
parents are not upper class twats,” Paige spat and picked up the
microphone. “Go on, your choice. Which one?”
    Claire scanned the
list and looked up. “If I can get us access to Jack's recording
studio, will you make a demo tape. The recording studios should wet
themselves with your vocals.”
    “Yeah, wet
themselves laughing,” Paige joked and shook her head, but Claire
was serious.
    “I mean it,”
Claire asked. “Would you?”
    “I guess,”
Paige replied. “But I really don't think I'm that good.”

Chapter
VI
    “And poof,” the
weird-looking gentleman cried. “Not the only poof in here, is it?”
A wisp of smoke appeared from an upturned hat, and the “magician”
extracted a Rampant Rabbit dildo from it. “The Rabbit from the hat
trick!”
    Andre laughed; he
had enjoyed the magic show, despite being slightly uncomfortable
that the male magician was dressed in a latex bustier, fishnet
stockings and outrageously neon make-up. His adult-themed show was
designed for his gay patrons, and he delivered it well.
    The young agent
had felt decidedly uneasy at first; most of the audience fit a
stereotype and he reasoned he was the only heterosexual in the
room, although the barmaid was happy to flirt with him, partly
because she probably presumed he was “that way inclined.”
    Andre fidgeted and
was anxious, but as the show progressed and the alcohol entered his
system he felt more at ease with himself. He was still not sure
about signing “Pedro, the world's best magic bender,” but his uncle
had been firm. “Go down there and get him to come back to the
office if he's any good.”
    Andre wasn't sure
if he was “any good” as far as his uncle would think, but his adult
shows were popular in certain communities and the lure of a popular
client had enticed Andre to pay entry to a gay club and watch the
explicit show.
    Pedro was
certainly keen to exploit his exhibitionist streak and his clothing
was soon on a crumbled heap on the floor. His audience howled with
laughter as he found all four queens in a pack of cards before
suggesting “they weren't the only queens in the room!”
    As the show
finished, Andre moved towards the dressing room. He was stopped
from entering by a burly security guard who was unmoved by Andre's
claims to have an appointment with the scandalous entertainer.
Andre rang Pedro on the mobile number he had been given, so he
could be retrieved from the bouncer who was running out of patience
with Andre's desperate pleading.
    Pedro thought
nothing of walking naked through the corridor to his dressing room,
and Andre closed the door to give them some privacy. Smoke hung in
the small room, and gay pornography blared on the television behind
the middle-aged man. He refused to shake Andre's hand with a snort.
“No idea where your 'ands been.”
    Andre gave a weak
smile and adjusted his suit. “I'm Andre Wilson, executive at
Incredible Talents, and we like what we see. Ummm … we are asking,
would you consider having us as your agent?”
    The middle-aged
man leant back on the chair, idling playing with his manhood while
he spoke and stretched. “So, what's the deal? You get me bookings,
and I give you

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