Corn…Bernadette, Moosey, Ashley, Robert and Christopher. Father George didn’t stand a chance, and the whole congregation knew it.
“ How many of you know what today is?” began Father George. All the hands went up, and we all knew that the gesture meant that the whole group had been threatened by Princess Foo-Foo during Sunday School.
“ Ashley,” said Father George, confident of his control. “Why don’t you tell us?”
“ It’s the birthday of the church,” said Ashley, matter-of-factly. “Everyone knows that !” She twirled around and sat down. “ My birthday is next month. I’ll be eight.”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert, frantically waving his hand in the air. “Ooo, ooo, ooo!” Father George chose to ignore him.
“ That’s exactly right. So now we have a surprise for St. Barnabas. Look! Miss Brenda is bringing us something. Can you guess what it is?”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert, one arm still flailing and the other hand supporting his elbow.
“ Bernadette?” said Father George. “Can you guess what it is?”
“ Well, duuuhh,” said Bernadette, rolling her eyes. “It’s a birthday cake.”
“ My birthday cake is going to have SpongeBob on it,” announced Ashley, now reclining on the top step of the chancel.
“ How many candles does it have?” Moosey tried to look past the priest. “Huh? It doesn’t have any!”
“ Well, we didn’t want…we didn’t think it would be a good idea…”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert.
“ On my birthday, I’m having lots of candles. I’m going to blow them out and make a wish,” said Ashley. “I’m wishing for a pony.”
“ I wished for a pony last time,” said Christopher, “but all I got was a baby brother. No, wait a minute. It was a puppy.”
“ Yes,” said Father George. “That’s nice. But this is the church’s birthday, so…”
“ You got a puppy?” asked Moosey.
“ No. I got a baby brother.”
The organ suddenly boomed out the opening strains to Happy Birthday and everyone turned around and looked.
“ Not yet!” shouted Brenda from halfway down the aisle. The music stopped as suddenly as it began, and Brenda continued her journey carrying the birthday cake sans candles.
“ Is it true you have to do unto others like they do unto you?” asked Bernadette. “‘Cause if it is, I’m gonna get my little brother good.”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert.
“ Can I have some cake?” asked Christopher, sticking his finger into the frosting just as the cake arrived.
“ Yes…umm, I mean no…” said Father George in exasperation. “What is it, Robert?”
“ Momma says that Daddy won’t get in heaven if he uses his golfing words in the house. She says that Satan’s gonna have a field day.”
“ Here,” said Father George, grabbing a handful of cake and handing it to Robert. “Happy Birthday.”
The organ started up again, and this time we all sang Happy Birthday to the Church. I’m sure its heart was strangely warmed.
* * *
The choir sang an anthem following the Children’s Moment, presumably to set the stage for the Epistle reading from the Book of Acts. It was a little unaccompanied medieval carol using the text “Holy Spirit, Truth Divine.”
“ That was nice, wasn’t it?” asked Meg, quietly.
“ Yes, it was.”
“ But, now what?” she asked.
“ Now what” was a reading of the Pentecost story in different languages by members of the congregation. I was unimpressed. This had been done many times before. We were hoping for something new.
“ When the day of Pentecost came,” said Father George, the only one of the readers using a microphone, “they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.
Gretta Schmidt stood up about halfway back on the right side and started reading in German. “ Und als der Tag des Pfingstfestes erfüllt war,” she said loudly, “waren sie alle an
“ How many of you know what today is?” began Father George. All the hands went up, and we all knew that the gesture meant that the whole group had been threatened by Princess Foo-Foo during Sunday School.
“ Ashley,” said Father George, confident of his control. “Why don’t you tell us?”
“ It’s the birthday of the church,” said Ashley, matter-of-factly. “Everyone knows that !” She twirled around and sat down. “ My birthday is next month. I’ll be eight.”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert, frantically waving his hand in the air. “Ooo, ooo, ooo!” Father George chose to ignore him.
“ That’s exactly right. So now we have a surprise for St. Barnabas. Look! Miss Brenda is bringing us something. Can you guess what it is?”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert, one arm still flailing and the other hand supporting his elbow.
“ Bernadette?” said Father George. “Can you guess what it is?”
“ Well, duuuhh,” said Bernadette, rolling her eyes. “It’s a birthday cake.”
“ My birthday cake is going to have SpongeBob on it,” announced Ashley, now reclining on the top step of the chancel.
“ How many candles does it have?” Moosey tried to look past the priest. “Huh? It doesn’t have any!”
“ Well, we didn’t want…we didn’t think it would be a good idea…”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert.
“ On my birthday, I’m having lots of candles. I’m going to blow them out and make a wish,” said Ashley. “I’m wishing for a pony.”
“ I wished for a pony last time,” said Christopher, “but all I got was a baby brother. No, wait a minute. It was a puppy.”
“ Yes,” said Father George. “That’s nice. But this is the church’s birthday, so…”
“ You got a puppy?” asked Moosey.
“ No. I got a baby brother.”
The organ suddenly boomed out the opening strains to Happy Birthday and everyone turned around and looked.
“ Not yet!” shouted Brenda from halfway down the aisle. The music stopped as suddenly as it began, and Brenda continued her journey carrying the birthday cake sans candles.
“ Is it true you have to do unto others like they do unto you?” asked Bernadette. “‘Cause if it is, I’m gonna get my little brother good.”
“ Ooo, ooo,” said Robert.
“ Can I have some cake?” asked Christopher, sticking his finger into the frosting just as the cake arrived.
“ Yes…umm, I mean no…” said Father George in exasperation. “What is it, Robert?”
“ Momma says that Daddy won’t get in heaven if he uses his golfing words in the house. She says that Satan’s gonna have a field day.”
“ Here,” said Father George, grabbing a handful of cake and handing it to Robert. “Happy Birthday.”
The organ started up again, and this time we all sang Happy Birthday to the Church. I’m sure its heart was strangely warmed.
* * *
The choir sang an anthem following the Children’s Moment, presumably to set the stage for the Epistle reading from the Book of Acts. It was a little unaccompanied medieval carol using the text “Holy Spirit, Truth Divine.”
“ That was nice, wasn’t it?” asked Meg, quietly.
“ Yes, it was.”
“ But, now what?” she asked.
“ Now what” was a reading of the Pentecost story in different languages by members of the congregation. I was unimpressed. This had been done many times before. We were hoping for something new.
“ When the day of Pentecost came,” said Father George, the only one of the readers using a microphone, “they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.
Gretta Schmidt stood up about halfway back on the right side and started reading in German. “ Und als der Tag des Pfingstfestes erfüllt war,” she said loudly, “waren sie alle an
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