normal woman, not a dancer, and that was somehow gratifying while still intimidating. The costume, the heels, the makeup, the perfect hair — those were all elements to the mask, to the role that all of us dancers played for men here. A lot of the girls who worked here used pseudonyms — simple names that somehow embodied the persona they sought to be while they worked here. When they exited the building, they could stop being the person they became when they were at the club.
I’d never had much of a reason to take on a stage name, and Faith had never done so, either.
“It’s confusing enough to be myself,” I’d overheard her tell another dancer about it before. “I don’t think I could keep up with two completely different people.”
But now, in street clothes, I was just Sol, the woman I always was. This was going to be a lot more difficult than I imagined — to escort Xander and just be myself. I wouldn’t have a mask or a persona to fall back on, nor the atmosphere and safety of the club to lean on.
It would be just me and him, out in Miami for the day.
How was it that dates were so intimidating? How did people do this normally, in real life? Even Antonio and I had kind of fallen together — schoolmates, first, then friends, then lovers. It was a natural progression of a relationship, and every feeling we had for each other was genuine.
Dating, to me, seemed unnatural. You tried out a person much like you tried on a pair of pants. Did they fit? Would they chafe you after a time, or grow too restrictive? Would they lose their shape, stop making you feel as good?
Dating was a complicated tryout, a situation doomed to fail, a painful coupling of two strangers trying to find the love that so many other people already had.
I’d agreed to do this for as long as I could stand Xander. I hurried out of the dressing room — and away from my building dread — and rejoined the man in question at his table. He blinked at me several times before his smile lit up his face again.
“I almost didn’t recognize you,” he exclaimed. “I was about to ask a gorgeous woman if she was lost and needed my help.”
I flushed and giggled. “Oh, stop. This is just me in my street clothes. It’s a little too early in the day to look as fancy as I normally do here at the club out in the city.”
“Can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Uh oh,” I said, lightly mocking him. “This is how you get in trouble. This is how you get a girl upset with you, and you don’t want to ruin our date, now.”
“Okay,” he said, putting his hands up. “It’ll be my little secret, for now. But I’m pretty sure you would’ve liked it.”
“Enough fooling around,” I commanded jokingly. “Let’s blow this joint.” That was one of the expressions I was proudest of, having picked it up in a movie Antonio and I had watched together at the library. I knew what it meant, knew it was a way to make myself sound like I had more of a command of the language than I actually did, and it usually put people at ease.
Xander immediately popped up from the table, offering me his arm gallantly. “I live to make you happy,” he announced. “Just tell me where we’re going.”
“Not a chance,” I said, grinning at him as I led him out the door, into the bright sunlight that made us both squint after the darkness of the club. “Every part of our date is going to be a surprise. You won’t know what we’re doing until we get there.”
“Fair enough,” Xander said, jingling his
I’d never had much of a reason to take on a stage name, and Faith had never done so, either.
“It’s confusing enough to be myself,” I’d overheard her tell another dancer about it before. “I don’t think I could keep up with two completely different people.”
But now, in street clothes, I was just Sol, the woman I always was. This was going to be a lot more difficult than I imagined — to escort Xander and just be myself. I wouldn’t have a mask or a persona to fall back on, nor the atmosphere and safety of the club to lean on.
It would be just me and him, out in Miami for the day.
How was it that dates were so intimidating? How did people do this normally, in real life? Even Antonio and I had kind of fallen together — schoolmates, first, then friends, then lovers. It was a natural progression of a relationship, and every feeling we had for each other was genuine.
Dating, to me, seemed unnatural. You tried out a person much like you tried on a pair of pants. Did they fit? Would they chafe you after a time, or grow too restrictive? Would they lose their shape, stop making you feel as good?
Dating was a complicated tryout, a situation doomed to fail, a painful coupling of two strangers trying to find the love that so many other people already had.
I’d agreed to do this for as long as I could stand Xander. I hurried out of the dressing room — and away from my building dread — and rejoined the man in question at his table. He blinked at me several times before his smile lit up his face again.
“I almost didn’t recognize you,” he exclaimed. “I was about to ask a gorgeous woman if she was lost and needed my help.”
I flushed and giggled. “Oh, stop. This is just me in my street clothes. It’s a little too early in the day to look as fancy as I normally do here at the club out in the city.”
“Can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Uh oh,” I said, lightly mocking him. “This is how you get in trouble. This is how you get a girl upset with you, and you don’t want to ruin our date, now.”
“Okay,” he said, putting his hands up. “It’ll be my little secret, for now. But I’m pretty sure you would’ve liked it.”
“Enough fooling around,” I commanded jokingly. “Let’s blow this joint.” That was one of the expressions I was proudest of, having picked it up in a movie Antonio and I had watched together at the library. I knew what it meant, knew it was a way to make myself sound like I had more of a command of the language than I actually did, and it usually put people at ease.
Xander immediately popped up from the table, offering me his arm gallantly. “I live to make you happy,” he announced. “Just tell me where we’re going.”
“Not a chance,” I said, grinning at him as I led him out the door, into the bright sunlight that made us both squint after the darkness of the club. “Every part of our date is going to be a surprise. You won’t know what we’re doing until we get there.”
“Fair enough,” Xander said, jingling his
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