The Book Stops Here: A Mobile Library Mystery by Ian Sansom Page B

change,' said Israel, the words, coming from his own lips, making him feel rather strange, as though suddenly inhabited by another nation and language, an alien within him bursting from his chest. 'We owe this to the people of Tumdrum, to—'
    'Ach, Israel, ye want to have to listen to yerself. You're an absolute sickener, d'ye know that? You're as bad as the rest of them.'
    'What do you mean, the rest of them?'
    'The whole library committee. Ye're a bunch of hypocrites. You've no interest in this mobile library conference thing at all.'
    'The Mobile Meet?'
    'Aye.'
    'Well, actually, as it happens, I am very—'
    'You just want an excuse to get over to England.'
    'Well, obviously, that too.'
    'That's all ye're interested in.'
    'No, it's not.'
    'Aye, it is.'
    'No.'
    'Yes.'
    'All right, fine,' said Israel, 'if it makes you feel better, Ted. You're right. I don't care at all about the Mobile Meet. I don't care about the new mobile library, or the old mobile library for that matter. I just want to go home. Which means we have to leave in a minute and get on the ferry and go.'
    'Well, at least ye're being honest now.'
    'Good. And so while we're about it, why don't you be honest?'
    'What?'
    'If it's honesty time, how about you being honest for a change?'
    'What in God's name are ye talkin' about now?'
    'I think you're scared of going over to England,' said Israel.
    'Of course I'm not scared,' said Ted.
    'I think you are scared.'
    'Of what?'
    'Going over to England. The big wide world out there.'
    'I've seen more of the big wide world than ye'll ever see, ye runt.'
    'Well, then, what's stopping you?'
    'Nothing. Just…'
    'Well?'
    Ted was silent and gazed down at the floor. Muhammad, too, went quiet.
    In all his time working on the mobile library with big Ted Carson, Israel had never known him to drop his gaze. Ted was the kind of person who looked at a problem straight in the eye and waited for it to back down. And if it didn't back down, he punched its lights out.
    Israel saw his chance to seize the initiative.
    'All right, Ted, listen. We are going. Because, Ted, look. Look at the van, Ted. Ted!' Ted looked up. 'Look. Just look at the van!'
    Ted looked across at the clean-scrubbed van.
    'I don't want to make you big-headed here, but honestly, you've done an incredible job. It's possible—and I realise I'm talking myself out of a thousand pounds here—it's possible that you might win the Concours D'Elégance. You owe it to yourself, Ted.' Israel was into his stride now. 'Not just that. You owe it to the van , Ted. Look at her. She could sit here, loved by you, or you could share her with others, show other people what this little country—'
    'Province,' corrected Ted.
    '—province is capable of. Do you know what I call her?' said Israel.
    'What?' said Ted.
    'Marilyn,' said Israel.
    'Marilyn?' said Ted.
    'Like Marilyn Monroe.'
    'My favourite film actress,' said Ted, nodding his head.
    'Really?' said Israel. 'There you are then. Let's get Marilyn out on the road and show people what we're made of, shall we?'
    Ted took a deep sigh and looked slowly from the van to Israel, and back again from Israel to the van, and out across the obscured vista to the sea, and then he opened the door a crack wider.
    'Ach, ye wee bastard. All right. I'll grab me duncher, and the dog. You're going to regret taking on this bet,' he said.
    'We'll see,' said Israel, and then, pushing his luck a little too far, 'but you definitely can't bring the dog.'
    'I'm bringing the dog.' Ted's face hardened.
    'Fine!' said Israel. He didn't like dogs. 'Bring the dog! Fine. But let's just go, can we? We've not got much time.'
    'And I need me duncher and some clothes.'
    'Your whatter?'
    'Me cap, me cap. I'm not going away over to the mainland without me cap.'
    And so eventually, somehow, by driving at frighteningly high speed along the winding coast road that Israel had come to love and to loathe, Ted and Israel and Muhammad the dog boarded the Liverpool ferry, and now