and I am hungry. I will have to sleep in the garden shed and eat worms for the rest of my life.
I have never been inside our shed because Nana said that Pop spent a lot of time in there when he first came to this house and that is why he nowthinks he is a train. I need to stop asking questions because the shed is full of things a little boy should not know. I think that’s where Pop keeps his playing cards with the pictures of naked women. But I don’t know what that has to do with my Auntie Beryl or if she has ever been inside our shed. Anyway Pop does not go into our shed anymore because he is not allowed out on his own now that his tongue hangs out all the time.
I almost jumped out of my bedroom window onto the shed roof once. I was trying to escape from Tommy who was a screaming, bloodthirsty Comanche Indian. I was a cowboy but I don’t like heights so I just ducked when he tried to scalp me with our coal shovel.
It’s very dark inside our shed. That is why I keep my secret box of matches in my pocket at all times. I’ve never lit a match before and I’ve never lit a candle. It glows and makes lots of shadows in the dark. Bad things and shadows in the dark.
I don’t like those shadows. I don’t like those bad things.
16
I am never going in that bloody shed again. It is full of terrible things. Pop probably killed someone in there. God knows it was much better being back in the warm with Nana, singing along to Freddie and the Dreamers on Ready, Steady, Go!
You were made for me,
Everybody tells me so.
You were made for me,
Don’t pretend that you don’t know…
And Margueretta was dancing with Sam and he was twirling her around and we could all see her knickers again. And they were smiling at each other like they knew a secret.
The telly was really loud and that is why we never heard those people banging on our front door. And we never lock our front door, which is why those people didn’t wait for us to hear them and they came bursting in and ran down our passageway. That was the end of Freddie and the Dreamers singing “You Were Made For Me.”
“What in God’s name is going on?” Nana shouted.
“Did you know your shed is on fire?” they shouted back.
Now that is a stupid question, if you ask me, because if we knew our shed was on fire we would not be dancing and singing along with Freddie and the Dreamers. No, we would be outside throwing a bucket of water on it.
But no one seemed to care because everyone was running down the passageway to the kitchen and out through the scullery and the backdoor and into the backyard.
“How in God’s name did our shed catch on fire?” Nana yelled.
The fire engine was bright red and shiny and made a fantastic clanging sound when it came down the street. And they ran their hoses all the way through our house to the backyard. I really wanted Tommy to see it but he’s still not my best friend anymore.
“Quick! For God’s sake, it will burn down the whole bloomin’ street!” shouted the woman from next door.
Nana ignored her because she is spying on us. But the fire was quite big and the flames were reaching up to my bedroom window and that’s the problem with a shed that’s on fire when the shed is built against the back of your house. And our house is in a row with all the other houses so the woman from next door was right because it could burn down the whole bloody street. And that’s why they had to get another fire engine.
“Stand back! Stand back!” shouted the Fire Chief because all the windows were exploding.
“Stand back! Stand back! Choo-choo! Choo-choo goes the train!” shouted Pop.
Then all the other neighbors came into our backyard because they heard the fire engines and that’s how the whole street knew our shed was on fire and they would rather watch our shed burning down than watch Freddie and the Dreamers. And the women and children screamed each time one of the windows exploded but I didn’t scream. I just stayed quiet
I have never been inside our shed because Nana said that Pop spent a lot of time in there when he first came to this house and that is why he nowthinks he is a train. I need to stop asking questions because the shed is full of things a little boy should not know. I think that’s where Pop keeps his playing cards with the pictures of naked women. But I don’t know what that has to do with my Auntie Beryl or if she has ever been inside our shed. Anyway Pop does not go into our shed anymore because he is not allowed out on his own now that his tongue hangs out all the time.
I almost jumped out of my bedroom window onto the shed roof once. I was trying to escape from Tommy who was a screaming, bloodthirsty Comanche Indian. I was a cowboy but I don’t like heights so I just ducked when he tried to scalp me with our coal shovel.
It’s very dark inside our shed. That is why I keep my secret box of matches in my pocket at all times. I’ve never lit a match before and I’ve never lit a candle. It glows and makes lots of shadows in the dark. Bad things and shadows in the dark.
I don’t like those shadows. I don’t like those bad things.
16
I am never going in that bloody shed again. It is full of terrible things. Pop probably killed someone in there. God knows it was much better being back in the warm with Nana, singing along to Freddie and the Dreamers on Ready, Steady, Go!
You were made for me,
Everybody tells me so.
You were made for me,
Don’t pretend that you don’t know…
And Margueretta was dancing with Sam and he was twirling her around and we could all see her knickers again. And they were smiling at each other like they knew a secret.
The telly was really loud and that is why we never heard those people banging on our front door. And we never lock our front door, which is why those people didn’t wait for us to hear them and they came bursting in and ran down our passageway. That was the end of Freddie and the Dreamers singing “You Were Made For Me.”
“What in God’s name is going on?” Nana shouted.
“Did you know your shed is on fire?” they shouted back.
Now that is a stupid question, if you ask me, because if we knew our shed was on fire we would not be dancing and singing along with Freddie and the Dreamers. No, we would be outside throwing a bucket of water on it.
But no one seemed to care because everyone was running down the passageway to the kitchen and out through the scullery and the backdoor and into the backyard.
“How in God’s name did our shed catch on fire?” Nana yelled.
The fire engine was bright red and shiny and made a fantastic clanging sound when it came down the street. And they ran their hoses all the way through our house to the backyard. I really wanted Tommy to see it but he’s still not my best friend anymore.
“Quick! For God’s sake, it will burn down the whole bloomin’ street!” shouted the woman from next door.
Nana ignored her because she is spying on us. But the fire was quite big and the flames were reaching up to my bedroom window and that’s the problem with a shed that’s on fire when the shed is built against the back of your house. And our house is in a row with all the other houses so the woman from next door was right because it could burn down the whole bloody street. And that’s why they had to get another fire engine.
“Stand back! Stand back!” shouted the Fire Chief because all the windows were exploding.
“Stand back! Stand back! Choo-choo! Choo-choo goes the train!” shouted Pop.
Then all the other neighbors came into our backyard because they heard the fire engines and that’s how the whole street knew our shed was on fire and they would rather watch our shed burning down than watch Freddie and the Dreamers. And the women and children screamed each time one of the windows exploded but I didn’t scream. I just stayed quiet
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