The Boyfriend of the Month Club by Maria Geraci Page A

When are you going to grow up? I haven’t even met her and I like her already. And now you’ve dragged the whole family into it, and then in approximately one month, when she breaks up with you because you’re acting like a total ass hat, Abuela and Mami are going to be really disappointed.”
    Charlie had the look of someone who was being unfairly attacked. “For your information, I didn’t bring Phoebe to Mass. She asked me what I was doing today and I told her I spent Sunday afternoons with my family. First Mass, then supper at the house. When we got here, she was waiting outside. What was I supposed to do? Ignore her? Then after Abuela found out we knew each other, she insisted Phoebe sit with us. I was ambushed!”
    Sarah chuckled. “I like how this girl works. You have my permission to marry her, Charles.”
    Charlie shot Sarah a warning look. “Not funny,” he said.
    “Yes, it is,” Sarah replied.
    “Stop it you two. Charlie is right. This isn’t funny.”
    Sarah’s smile vanished. “Sorry.” She turned to Charlie. “What’s wrong with you? The girl is gorgeous and she’s obviously way into you. Give her a break. Maybe she’s the one, only you’re too stupid to give her a chance.” Sarah stomped off toward the parish hall. “I don’t know about you two, but I need a donut!”
    Charlie stared at Sarah’s retreating back.
    “Don’t take it personally,” Grace said. “It’s this divorce from Craig.”
    The mention of Craig’s name made a muscle on the side of Charlie’s face twitch. “What’s that bastard done now?” he asked. Grace couldn’t help but find his brotherly affection for Sarah touching.
    “Nothing. At least, I hope nothing. I think Sarah still blames herself for the marriage falling apart, and it’s eating her up. You know Sarah. She’s a perfectionist.”
    “Who’s up for donuts?” Pop came up and placed an arm around Grace’s shoulder. “And speaking of food, how’s my Tomato this morning?”
    Tomato was the affectionate nickname Abuela had given Grace as a little girl. Abuela gave everyone nicknames. The names were usually based on a physical trait. For instance, the neighbor next door, Mr. Abernathy, was tall and pigeon-toed, so he became the pato flaco , or the skinny duck. But sometimes the nicknames were based on personality quirks. Even earlier than when Charlie had christened Grace Mal Genio , Abuela had given her two grandchildren the titles of Lechuga y Tomate , Lettuce and Tomato. Charlie was the Lettuce, cool and crisp. And Grace was the Tomato because, well . . . because she was the opposite of that. Pop had stolen the nickname the second it had come out of Abuela’s mouth.
    “Pop, I need to talk to you today. In private.”
    “No one is eating donuts when I have a huge dinner waiting at home. Especially not you,” Mami said to Pop. “Remember your high blood pressure.” Whenever Mami reminded Pop of his high blood pressure it always made his face go red.
    Abuela had her arm linked around Phoebe’s like they were already the best of friends. Abuela liked everybody. Except Fidel Castro, of course. But he didn’t count. “Won’t this be nice! A big family dinner with both my grandchildren.”
    Charlie introduced Grace to Phoebe. She was in her first year at the law firm and Charlie was her mentor. Grace almost snickered at the mentor part. She really hoped Charlie was telling the truth about his relationship with Phoebe. Sleeping with someone you worked with was never a good career move.
    “I’m so glad to finally meet Charlie’s family!” Phoebe gushed. “He’s always talking about you and your parents and the store and your wonderful abuelita .”
    “Gracielita,” said Abuela, “go find Sarah and invite her to dinner. It’s been too long since she’s eaten at the house.” She patted Phoebe on the arm. “Why don’t we go back inside the church and light a candle to the Virgin? I have a special intention I’ve just thought of.”