could surf and she could paint sunrises. They would take a few years off from career-type goals. Work in a beach bar, mixing fancy drinks. Find themselves. That was the plan. It wasn’t a plan their parents loved, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was each other.
Everything changed a couple of months back. Marcus had still been working at the liquor store. One day, he came home to find Lisa’s things gone from their tiny house on Poplar Avenue. Not just her clothes and makeup, either. She had really cleaned the place out. She took the sticky, halfemptyshampoo bottles from the back of the bathroom cupboard. She even took the hair dryer. That dryer could kill a person. You had to unplug it when you left the room because it sparked even when it was off.
What could he do? He sobbed into his pillow for a day, or ten. Then he realized he couldn’t possibly afford to rent the house all by himself. So he, too, moved out. Moved in with his mother, back into the bedroom he slept in when he was a child. Where he could sob into the pillow of his childhood for another day, or ten.
Finally, his mother suggested that he go for therapy.
“Marcus?” said Dr. Ling. “Can you tell me about your sadness—how it feels?”
“It’s kind of stupid.”
“Nothing is stupid in this office. I promise.”
“I feel like I’m not even here. Ever since Lisa left, I feel like I’m on the outside of life. Like I’m watching from the corner, you know?” Dr. Ling shifted in her chair. “This sadness is so bad I can no longer work. I don’t sleep.”
Dr. Ling nodded.
“Sometimes it feels, well, it feels almost like. you’re going to think this is weird,” Marcus said.
“I won’t think anything you say is weird, Marcus. I promise.”
Marcus felt his cheeks heat up. “Okay. This sadness, it’s almost as if the stinging lives in my skin. When I think of her, my entire body feels as if it’s covered in paper cuts. I would do anything to stop the pain. I have to get her back.”
“I thought we agreed the other day that Lisa isn’t good for you,” said Dr. Ling.
Marcus hadn’t agreed to anything the other day. His skin had just hurt too much for him to set the doctor straight. “That’s not true,” he said now. A garbage truck outside made a whining sound. Trash cans smashed together like thunder. The noise made Marcus feel brave. “I’d take Lisa back in a second. Any man would. She’s perfect.”
Dr. Ling checked her watch. “I’m afraid our time is up for today.” She stood up. “Some things we can’t change, Marcus. You’ll learn as you get older that life is going to happen, whether we like it or not. Sometimes we get scratched up, sometimes we don’t. The best we can do is learn how to cope and soldier through.”
Chapter Three
Like Marcus, Alex had a hard time getting up that morning. He lay in bed and pretended not to feel his mother shaking his shoulder.
“Alex, wake up,” he heard.
He opened his eyes and stared at Boris’s tank. The spider was pawing at the glass almost as if he were waving hello. Even with the silky blond hair, Boris was terrifying. Of course, terrifying was the point.
“You don’t want to be late for school.”
What was Alex supposed to do? Get up, pull on his jeans and sweatshirt, and get on the bus, as if everything was fine? Nothing was fine. Nothing would be fine ever again. His dad was dead, his dad’s killer was free, and Alex was in charge of the family.
“I’m s-s-s ...” He stopped, shook his head, frustrated. “I’m s ... s ...”
“It’s okay, honey. It’s been a tough few days.”
He rolled his eyes back and stuck his tongue out one side of his mouth.
“You’re sick?” His mother put a hand on his forehead. “You don’t have a fever. You seem to be fine.”
Not on the inside, he didn’t say.
She stood up. “Okay. But I have to go to work. You’ll have to fend for yourself. Know what that means?”
Cereal for every meal. He
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