The Center of Everything
staring at each other right in front of us like they hate each other even though they’re married. I’ve seen my mother and Eileen look at each other like this, eyes flat, mouths unmoving, a long stare that looks like hate but could be something else, and nothing you want to get in between.

four
    M R . M ITCHELL IS GOING TO pick my mother up for work early, fifteen minutes before my bus comes. She has to give me a key to wear around my neck so I can lock the door behind me, and she tells me not to answer the door, not for anyone. She thinks I will die the moment she leaves, that I’ll let people in from off the highway, turn on the iron to start a fire. I remind her that it will be summer soon, and then I’ll be home by myself all the time.
    “Don’t even talk about that,” she says, her hand over her eyes. “I can’t think about that now.”
    I’m excited because today is the day of the science fair, and I finally get to bring my lima bean plants to school. I used empty milk cartons for containers, and I made a label for each one with red Magic Marker on masking tape: DARK, IN SUNLIGHT, DARK WITH MIRACLE-GRO , or IN SUNLIGHT WITH MIRACLE-GRO . I planted the seeds less than a month ago, pushing the seeds into the soil with my finger, and already the two that were in sunlight are actual plants, the leaves like small, waving hands. The one with Miracle-Gro in the soil is a darker green, the stem two inches taller than the other ones. Before she leaves, my mother helps me tape them inside a box so they won’t get smashed on the bus.
    Ms. Fairchild had been very particular that we should have a poster to go with our project, and it had to be a triptych, she said, a poster folded into thirds so it could stand up on its side. I got a piece of yellow poster board at the Kwikshop the same day I bought the lima bean seeds, and I tried just bending it into thirds, but it wouldn’t stay up. So I cut it into thirds and taped it with masking tape on the back. Now it stands up on its side when it’s unfolded, but it’s crooked.
    On the board, Ms. Fairchild had written HYPOTHESIS, OBJECTIVE, METHOD, OBSERVATIONS , and CONCLUSION . I copied these same words onto the yellow poster board, and I like how they look, very official. Under OBSERVATION , I have made a graph charting the growth of each plant in inches per week. So even though my poster is crooked, I’m pleased with the way it looks, and also with the lima bean plants themselves. I am amazed that anything came out of the soil at all, green and healthy, something coming out of nothing. On the bus, I show my poster to a second grader. I explain the graph to her, opening the box so she can see the plants for herself. She says it’s nice, reaching into the box to touch the leaves.
    The student with the best project gets to go to Topeka this summer to be in the state Science Fair, and if you win that, you get to go to Washington, D.C., and meet Ronald Reagan. I would love, more than anything, to meet Ronald Reagan, to see him in person, making his jokes. There is a chance that this could happen. I usually have the highest score on science tests. The only person who ever beats me is Traci Carmichael. She is smart, and she is also popular, and usually you don’t get to be both. But she has always been popular, and this year you can actually see it because of friendship pins. They are just safety pins with beads pushed onto them in different colors, and you are supposed to have your own design and then bring them to school in a plastic bag to give to all your friends. I don’t know who started it, but last year no one had them, and this year everyone does. Or the girls do. Boys don’t.
    When someone gives you a pin, you stick it on your shoelace, so people will know you have friends. I don’t know who started it, but now you have to have at least one friendship pin if you’re a girl or it looks like no one likes you. I have two: one from Patty Pollo, one from Star Sweeny.

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