friend, she explain women's ways to you?"
Lorilla shook her head.
"So when your woman's time come?"
Lorilla's mouth curved upward in a wan smile. "I thought I was dying. I ran to my stepfather, but he just turned beet red and gave me some rags. He told me to talk to the nuns."
"And this you did?"
"Yes, but Sister Mary John was very vague. It was quite confusing. She talked about flowers and gardens."
Josepha laughed. "Ah, poor thing."
"I figured out most of it."
"So no one told you about the marriage? Well, sometimes the wedding night, it is not pleasant for the bride. You are no hurt? Perhaps you bleed a bit?"
"No, no." Lorilla's face flamed. "It didn't hurt at all, but…"
"Senora?"
Lorilla looked at Josepha. "You see, Gabriel expected me to be…to have…" she sighed and dropped her gaze to the soup bowl. "To be more experienced."
"Ah."
"He thought I knew about the money. He thought I was a widow who had lost a child. It angered him when he found I was a…" her voice trailed away.
Josepha stared at her. "Money?"
"Senor Beltran paid my stepfather five thousand dollars for me."
" Madre de Dios . That is what the Patron had in mind? I did wonder. So, he want the son, but not the wife."
Lorilla nodded miserably. "I think you've hit the nail on its head, Josepha. He doesn't want me."
"What about you, Lorilla? What do you want?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Lorilla didn't answer. What did she want? Someone to love her like her father had loved her mother? A child, a family of her own? A return of the incredible rush of feelings Gabriel had coaxed from her? "He's sending me away."
"Sending . . . Madre de Dios !" Josepha let loose a string of words that made absolutely no sense to Lorilla. While Josepha ranted, she paced, stopping occasionally to gesture toward Lorilla. Finally she ran out of steam, and sank back down on the chair.
"Josepha, what…?"
"Ah, est nada , Senora Lorilla. Is just men. They can be so hard in the head. I raise Gabriel after his mother die in childbirth when he is small. The old Patron , he was heartbroken, but would he show it? Would he comfort his young son? No. What the young Gabriel learn from his father is to treat illness and death as the enemy and to react in anger. Men do not view the world in the same way as women. I try to comfort the small Gabriel, but he is as stiff and determined not to show feelings as his father. Only when he is asleep does he let down his guard. Many mornings, I would find the pillow wet from his tears." She shook her finger at Lorilla. "This is a secret, Senora Lorilla. The Patron would not appreciate me telling you of his childhood sadness --"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't," Lorilla started, but Josepha just kept talking.
"He will not appreciate that you know his deep secrets. But Gabriel is like a son to me and I would have him happy."
"He was happy with Elena, wasn't he? Was she very beautiful?"
Josepha's eyes sparkled. "Si, Elena is beautiful, but delicate. She is raised like Mexican royalty, groomed from birth to be a perfect wife. She never run and play like other children. So her health was never good."
"And Gabriel? He loved her?"
"Elena and Gabriel were betrothed from birth. She is his chosen bride."
Lorilla nodded, ignoring the sliver of pain that cut her heart at Josepha's words. "Tell me what happened, Josepha."
Josepha looked up, and Lorilla saw that her eyes were damp with tears.
"Oh, Josepha, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. Please forgive me."
"No, no. I loved Elena. But death is a part of life. That is only natural. She come here when she is not much more than a child nor is Gabriel. I believe, as his wife, you have a right to know what happened. It is certain that you will not find out from that one."
"Josepha, I'm not really Gabriel's wife. I shouldn't hear this."
Josepha went on as if she hadn't heard. "Gabriel,
Lorilla shook her head.
"So when your woman's time come?"
Lorilla's mouth curved upward in a wan smile. "I thought I was dying. I ran to my stepfather, but he just turned beet red and gave me some rags. He told me to talk to the nuns."
"And this you did?"
"Yes, but Sister Mary John was very vague. It was quite confusing. She talked about flowers and gardens."
Josepha laughed. "Ah, poor thing."
"I figured out most of it."
"So no one told you about the marriage? Well, sometimes the wedding night, it is not pleasant for the bride. You are no hurt? Perhaps you bleed a bit?"
"No, no." Lorilla's face flamed. "It didn't hurt at all, but…"
"Senora?"
Lorilla looked at Josepha. "You see, Gabriel expected me to be…to have…" she sighed and dropped her gaze to the soup bowl. "To be more experienced."
"Ah."
"He thought I knew about the money. He thought I was a widow who had lost a child. It angered him when he found I was a…" her voice trailed away.
Josepha stared at her. "Money?"
"Senor Beltran paid my stepfather five thousand dollars for me."
" Madre de Dios . That is what the Patron had in mind? I did wonder. So, he want the son, but not the wife."
Lorilla nodded miserably. "I think you've hit the nail on its head, Josepha. He doesn't want me."
"What about you, Lorilla? What do you want?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Lorilla didn't answer. What did she want? Someone to love her like her father had loved her mother? A child, a family of her own? A return of the incredible rush of feelings Gabriel had coaxed from her? "He's sending me away."
"Sending . . . Madre de Dios !" Josepha let loose a string of words that made absolutely no sense to Lorilla. While Josepha ranted, she paced, stopping occasionally to gesture toward Lorilla. Finally she ran out of steam, and sank back down on the chair.
"Josepha, what…?"
"Ah, est nada , Senora Lorilla. Is just men. They can be so hard in the head. I raise Gabriel after his mother die in childbirth when he is small. The old Patron , he was heartbroken, but would he show it? Would he comfort his young son? No. What the young Gabriel learn from his father is to treat illness and death as the enemy and to react in anger. Men do not view the world in the same way as women. I try to comfort the small Gabriel, but he is as stiff and determined not to show feelings as his father. Only when he is asleep does he let down his guard. Many mornings, I would find the pillow wet from his tears." She shook her finger at Lorilla. "This is a secret, Senora Lorilla. The Patron would not appreciate me telling you of his childhood sadness --"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't," Lorilla started, but Josepha just kept talking.
"He will not appreciate that you know his deep secrets. But Gabriel is like a son to me and I would have him happy."
"He was happy with Elena, wasn't he? Was she very beautiful?"
Josepha's eyes sparkled. "Si, Elena is beautiful, but delicate. She is raised like Mexican royalty, groomed from birth to be a perfect wife. She never run and play like other children. So her health was never good."
"And Gabriel? He loved her?"
"Elena and Gabriel were betrothed from birth. She is his chosen bride."
Lorilla nodded, ignoring the sliver of pain that cut her heart at Josepha's words. "Tell me what happened, Josepha."
Josepha looked up, and Lorilla saw that her eyes were damp with tears.
"Oh, Josepha, I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. Please forgive me."
"No, no. I loved Elena. But death is a part of life. That is only natural. She come here when she is not much more than a child nor is Gabriel. I believe, as his wife, you have a right to know what happened. It is certain that you will not find out from that one."
"Josepha, I'm not really Gabriel's wife. I shouldn't hear this."
Josepha went on as if she hadn't heard. "Gabriel,
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