The Cipher by Kathe Koja Page B

either side and hair dangling straight, about to stick her head down the Funhole.
    "God damn, " too horrified to think what else to do, to worry that I might hurt her, I slammed into her like a truck and knocked her sideways so she crashed like the tethered hand had done, smack into a pile of junk and shit flying everywhere and back she came, crawling like a crab, teeth bare, brows arched and tiny tits jiggling and her eyes absolutely blank and I grabbed her and she bit me, I mean bit me like a dog and blood and worrying at the skin of my hand so I had to jerk it away and in that second boom, back to the hole. I yanked at the back of her neck, panic strength and she made a little sound, I'd hurt her that time for sure and a little, a tiny bit of life came back to her face and I squeezed where I'd hurt her, use the pain, use it.
    "Nakota," squeezing again, "stop it, stop it, you hear me?"
    And everything came back, eyes and all but not* right, not quite, I saw it and my grip eased but just one wary notch. Blood on her teeth and almost crying, I had never in my life before seen tears in her eyes, "I have to, Nicholas, let me go."
    Muscles, humming in my arms, vibration passed from her body to mine, God she was strong. "I can't."
    Tears and blood. "I have to, Nicholas. My head's down there."
    "Oh, Nakota," and I thought She's crazy, this has driven her crazy. What do I do now. "Let's go upstairs, okay? Let's go upstairs and I'll—"
    "I need my head back!" and a lunge, God she was strong, fierce jerking elbows and kicking feet and snapping teeth as her mouth worked, long slippery thread of spit and trying to get at me and I held her, tight, tight, I wanted to drag her out and away but the way she fought, the force I had to use just to keep her from breaking loose, I was hurting her already even though she gave no sign she felt it. I would have to really hurt her, maybe even knock her out (though I had no confidence I could actually do it, I had never done anything like that before), and meanwhile she was wearing me out just fighting me, fighting me, fighting me, and finally I yelled, "Okay, okay! Just stop, okay? Just stop," and I gave her an extra-hard shake, her head snapped like whiplash and she got quieter, still panting but quieter.
    "I need my head back," she said.
    Oh God. I tried to talk to her, talk her away from the craziness but she kept straining past me, little whine in her throat like a sick animal, mumbling about her head and pushing with all her strength against my body as if I was a wall or door she must surmount to be free. This would go on all night, forever, until she wore me down and I had no doubt she would. Eventually. She was the queen of eventually.
    "Stop it/' was I going to have to really beat her up to stop her, oh God please don't make me do that. "Stop it, Nakota, just—" Whine and panting, like wrestling a dog, snapping at me, so this is what it's like when someone loses her mind, uh-huh, pushing and pushing against me and all her muscles alive and she kicked me, I should have expected it, the classic move, and as I jack-knifed, groping for my balls, she bounded past, a literal leap like ballet and the pain, yeah and the anger made me able to grab a part of her, some skinny part, and sling her with all my strength against the wall. She hit like a door slamming but the momentum was too much for me, balance gone and I was too close, too close to the Funhole, so black and calm below me as I pinwheeled in perfect silence, the moment as long and exquisite as a car wreck I'm going to fall right into it and nothing from Nakota, I had knocked her 'finally silent, no help there hold on I can't I'm losing it God
    and with a plunge like a scream I fell full
    length, body wrenching like a twisting fish and my right arm, thrust out for desperate balance, at last gone deep inside. She got her head back, all right.

3
    Nakota as nurse. We both needed nurses, she more than me, though my bitten hand was already