The Cost Of Love And Sanity by Jaye Cheríc Page A

Thursday?”
    â€œI’m not sure about then either. Look, thanks for giving me a call. I hope your friend’s car is working again,” Alex said, devoid of any emotion.
    â€œI think it’ll be fine. I’m gonna call you later so we can set something up, okay? I’d really like to see you again,” Nathan said.
    Alex took a deep breath. “Sure. Goodbye, Nathan.”
    She hung up without hearing his goodbye. As she kicked off her shoes and threw her legs onto the sofa to finish the Lifetime movie, she felt the heaviness again. Except this time it wasn’t just her chest that felt heavy; it was the heart underneath it that weighed a ton.
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    On the following warm and sunny Saturday afternoon, Alex sat in the office inside of her house. The room overlooked the subdivision’s neat and clean landscape. She glanced out the window and caught a glimpse of the sunlight bouncing off the tree leaves—so inviting. She wished she could go outside and at least take a walk somewhere but she needed to work. Even though she’d finished her proposal, Mr. Sims’ warning still rang in her head. She needed to stay ahead of the game. So, she decided to start planning for the fair.
    However, in the middle of looking through venues, she found her mind wandering. Alex leaned back in her black, executive chair, unable to resist allowing her mind to replay Nathan standing her up. She couldn’t believe she wasted time wanting him to call and then, when he finally called and set up a date, he missed it. A mixture of sadness and anger engulfed her heart all over again.
    Alex usually figured things out quite quickly but relationships were kicking her butt. It was enough to make her forgo them infavor of taking matters into her own hands. But where would she start? She sat up in her chair and switched back to the Internet. Alex went to Google and searched for sperm donors. A sperm bank popped up first. She reluctantly clicked on it and the yellow and white website appeared before her eyes.
    The phone number and hours of operation for the bank sat at the top left-hand corner of the site. Farther down, she saw one of the most thorough search boxes she’d ever seen. It was like a catalogue. She had the choice from a variety of hair colors, eye colors, heights, weights and ethnicities. Out of curiosity, she clicked on black hair, any eye color and around six feet tall. She clicked on search and leaned into the computer for the results.
    Up came the basic demographics for donors, along with a code number. She clicked on the African-American donor who was six-one and 185 pounds. She immediately saw a list of information on his hair type, blood type and other profile information. They even provided a description of his personality. On the right side of the screen, she saw the price for the donor’s sperm. $565. Alex leaned back in her chair, floored.
    Instinct led her to pick up the phone to dial Izzy’s number. She had to tell somebody about this. Izzy picked up on the second ring.
    â€œHello?”
    â€œGirl, you will never believe what I am looking at.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI am looking at an online sperm bank.”
    â€œWhat? Why are you looking at that?”
    Alex gasped. She remembered that she hadn’t told Izzy about her thoughts of pursuing motherhood on her own. She placed her hand over her mouth, trying to think fast and figure out what to say.
    â€œOh. I happened to be on Google searching for something else and you know how other stuff pops up on the search engine? Well, it was there.” Alex crossed her fingers, hoping that her friend bought her excuse.
    â€œOh! Whew! You scared me for a minute there.” Izzy laughed.
    â€œYeah. Well, I had to click on it to see what it was about. It’s like a catalog,” Alex said.
    â€œReally?”
    â€œYeah. They got prices and all.”
    â€œOMG! I gotta see this. What’s the