The Debt 6 by Kelly Favor Page B

nearly over and she was very ill and fighting for every breath.   I didn’t have the heart or the stomach to tell her what I knew.   But I hated her for it, just the same.”
    “How did you find out about the affair?”
    Jake smiled, but once again the smile was bitter and pained.   “My good friend and yours, Kurt.”
    “Jake, are you certain he didn’t mislead you?   Kurt’s a liar.”
    Jake shook his head.   “He didn’t lie about it.   I checked out the story, got the phone records, read her texts and emails with the other guy.”
    “How did Kurt even know about it?”
    Jake sat up in bed and moved away from her.   “He told me he overheard her on the phone having a suspicious conversation one day when he came to visit me.   Who knows if that part was true?   Kurt was probably snooping and looking through her cell or something.”
    “Probably,” Raven agreed.   She wanted to move closer to Jake again, but he seemed to not want to touch her anymore.
    “It doesn’t matter how I found out, anyway.   I found out and the rest is history.   She’d been having a serious affair with a guy she met at the gym, a guy who taught her spin class.   They’d started talking more and more while I was away fighting and things just…progressed,” Jake laughed loudly.   “It’s pathetic, really, how completely cliché the whole thing was.”
    “It’s not a cliché,” Raven said.   “It’s awful and painful and it was wrong of her to do that to you.”
    Jake’s back was to her now, as he spoke.   “The rage inside of me was so intense those last couple of days before she died.   Watching Peyton fight for her life, knowing she couldn’t survive it, knowing that I was losing her and losing any chance I had to understand what had happened between us.   I wanted to scream at her, I wanted to kick her out of my home, tell her parents and friends to all go fuck themselves.”
    Raven was shaking a little as she scooted up in bed and watched Jake’s back expanding and contracting as he breathed, his head bowed.  
    “You were stronger than her,” Raven said.
    “In the end, it broke me completely,” he whispered.   “She took her last breath and said she loved me, and I just stared at her. I just did nothing , let her die alone .   I couldn’t say it back, and I swear—there was a look of horror in her eyes in those last moments.   I think she saw in my face that I knew about the affair.   She saw it and it made her last seconds on earth a terrible awful comprehension of the truth.   I robbed her of that final peace, Raven.   Maybe I even did it intentionally.   I don’t know.”
    Raven moved closer and put her hands on his shoulders, but he flinched, his muscles shuddering as if she had burned him.   Raven pulled back, wishing she knew what to do, what he needed from her.
    “You might be wrong,” Raven said.   “You might have imagined that look in her eyes, and it could’ve been something else.   She was dying, Jake.”
    “I’ve seen plenty of people die up close, Raven.”   He turned his head and glanced at her.   “I know what I saw that day.”
    “Okay,” she agreed.   “Maybe you do.   But you’ve carried this around with you for years, this burden.   You didn’t do anything wrong.   You tried your best, you took care of her after she’d hurt you so deeply.   That’s strength, Jake.”
    “Maybe not.   Maybe it’s just more of the same.”   He stood up, still naked, turned and faced her.   “You need to see me for who I really am, Raven.   I’m not that guy everyone thinks I am.   I’m not some amazing superhero.   Inside, I’m dead.   There’s nothing but darkness, and hate and rage and bitterness.”
    “That’s not true.”
    His eyes blazed.   “You don’t know what’s inside me.   Do you?”
    “I see kindness in your eyes.”
    His eyes widened and he looked away.   “Don’t say that.”
    She got out of bed and crossed to him,