off. He was unhappy.
“I am proceeding toward you,” she announced. “Try anything funny and I will drill you like the Swiss army drills the cheese.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
There was a clip-clop like a light-footed horse on the move. I knew the sound; Bobbi wore the same kind of low-heeled backless slippers. Barrett, who remained behind me, peered around for a look.
Mrs. Stannard, a sturdy brunette wrapped in a thick blue bathrobe, made her cautious way down. In one hand she grasped a nifty, short-barreled revolver. She paused at the bottom to give us a hostile once-over.
“You—” she said, pointing the gun at me, “I do not know. You—” she snarled at Barrett, changing her aim, “I have seen before. You came the other week and spoke to my mister about renting, of that I am sure. What are you doing walking in amongst my house like you are the owner of it?”
She had a familiar pattern to her speech, pronouncing each syllable as though it was a word unto itself. No one talked like that in New York, only certain parts of Chicago. I’d missed it.
Barrett whipped his hat off and actually looked humble. “Madam, I sincerely beg your pardon. You are right, I had no business intruding, none at all. I am sorry.”
“How many times I gotta tell people, the office is down here , the home is up there , and they are two different regions.” She pronounced it “re-gee-unz”.
“I do apologize.”
“There is a purpose to respecting such differences. I could have shot your head off. Instead, I put a hole through the wall. It is your good luck that no other damage transpired in regard to your head or my wall, but you should not be startling persons minding their own business in their personal domiciles.”
“No, madam.ont
“I am not a madam, I am Missus Stannard.”
“Yes, ma’am. May I ask where we may find Mr. Stannard?”
“You may ask, but it is evident that he is not presently here, else he would also take exception to you intrusioning yourself, though I expect him home soon. He is a hard-working man is my mister, so I do not begrudge him stopping at Louie’s Tavern up the road for a beer. As I am often on my own, he does not begrudge me a means of defending myself against creeps who walk in where they should not.” With her other hand she indicated the revolver. “You can wait for him or I can help you as I work down here when it is working hours.”
“Well, I. . .”
“What is this about paying the bill? There is confusion on the matter, for did I not stamp it paid in full already once today?”
“You have?” I asked.
“I have.” She pointed the gun at the wire basket by the files. “Your proof is there of the payment made in full. While I would enjoy a double payment for a bill, such a thing would be dishonest, and I am an honest woman, ask anyone. I would suggest one of you get organized.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I went back to the file for the yellow flimsy and held it out to Barrett. “Did you sign this?”
“He did not,” said Mrs. Stannard. “Was I not here when your two men came by at today’s crack of dawn to turn in the equipment and pay the bill? Was I not here while one of them signed off the bill and the other gave me the cash—which is in the bank now if it is anyone’s business but my own.”
“But I don’t emplo. . .” Barrett started, then caught himself “That is to say, I believe those men to be imposters.”
“Impostering whom?” she asked.
“Ah. . .”
I stepped in. “We’re not sure. Did they give you names?”
“Only the one when he signed, and he did not make a readable job of his signature, which you will see if you examine the page. They said Mr. Barrett was done and leaving town, but it becomes clear they were misinformed, for are you not standing here in the office, Mr. Barrett?”
“Yes, Mrs. Stannard. I am doing exactly that. I hope you will not mind that I am curious about two strangers paying my bill.”
“It does seem to be an
“I am proceeding toward you,” she announced. “Try anything funny and I will drill you like the Swiss army drills the cheese.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
There was a clip-clop like a light-footed horse on the move. I knew the sound; Bobbi wore the same kind of low-heeled backless slippers. Barrett, who remained behind me, peered around for a look.
Mrs. Stannard, a sturdy brunette wrapped in a thick blue bathrobe, made her cautious way down. In one hand she grasped a nifty, short-barreled revolver. She paused at the bottom to give us a hostile once-over.
“You—” she said, pointing the gun at me, “I do not know. You—” she snarled at Barrett, changing her aim, “I have seen before. You came the other week and spoke to my mister about renting, of that I am sure. What are you doing walking in amongst my house like you are the owner of it?”
She had a familiar pattern to her speech, pronouncing each syllable as though it was a word unto itself. No one talked like that in New York, only certain parts of Chicago. I’d missed it.
Barrett whipped his hat off and actually looked humble. “Madam, I sincerely beg your pardon. You are right, I had no business intruding, none at all. I am sorry.”
“How many times I gotta tell people, the office is down here , the home is up there , and they are two different regions.” She pronounced it “re-gee-unz”.
“I do apologize.”
“There is a purpose to respecting such differences. I could have shot your head off. Instead, I put a hole through the wall. It is your good luck that no other damage transpired in regard to your head or my wall, but you should not be startling persons minding their own business in their personal domiciles.”
“No, madam.ont
“I am not a madam, I am Missus Stannard.”
“Yes, ma’am. May I ask where we may find Mr. Stannard?”
“You may ask, but it is evident that he is not presently here, else he would also take exception to you intrusioning yourself, though I expect him home soon. He is a hard-working man is my mister, so I do not begrudge him stopping at Louie’s Tavern up the road for a beer. As I am often on my own, he does not begrudge me a means of defending myself against creeps who walk in where they should not.” With her other hand she indicated the revolver. “You can wait for him or I can help you as I work down here when it is working hours.”
“Well, I. . .”
“What is this about paying the bill? There is confusion on the matter, for did I not stamp it paid in full already once today?”
“You have?” I asked.
“I have.” She pointed the gun at the wire basket by the files. “Your proof is there of the payment made in full. While I would enjoy a double payment for a bill, such a thing would be dishonest, and I am an honest woman, ask anyone. I would suggest one of you get organized.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I went back to the file for the yellow flimsy and held it out to Barrett. “Did you sign this?”
“He did not,” said Mrs. Stannard. “Was I not here when your two men came by at today’s crack of dawn to turn in the equipment and pay the bill? Was I not here while one of them signed off the bill and the other gave me the cash—which is in the bank now if it is anyone’s business but my own.”
“But I don’t emplo. . .” Barrett started, then caught himself “That is to say, I believe those men to be imposters.”
“Impostering whom?” she asked.
“Ah. . .”
I stepped in. “We’re not sure. Did they give you names?”
“Only the one when he signed, and he did not make a readable job of his signature, which you will see if you examine the page. They said Mr. Barrett was done and leaving town, but it becomes clear they were misinformed, for are you not standing here in the office, Mr. Barrett?”
“Yes, Mrs. Stannard. I am doing exactly that. I hope you will not mind that I am curious about two strangers paying my bill.”
“It does seem to be an
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