buying me out and I’m renting a small flat near where we used to live. Gladstone Street. Do you remember it?”
A vague memory of a collection of streets all named after prime ministers, from Walpole to Baldwin, sprang to mind. Row upon row of small pre-war terraced houses. His place must be quite tiny. At least I’d been able to afford to rent an apartment in a decent part of the city after our house had been sold and we’d split the proceeds. A ripple of sympathy trickled into my brain, only to be stopped in its flow by recollections of lies, deceit, and a harsh divorce settlement that left him winning as much as it consigned me to the loser’s bin. I remembered the look of triumph on Liz’s face. She had come away with everything she wanted. Not only my property, but my husband as well. It was so predictable, I supposed.
I sipped my second drink, while Neil kept clenching and unclenching his hands. He looked so wretched, I almost relented and poured him another. But no way would I be responsible for him driving over the limit. As it was, he would probably have to stay at least an hour to wear off the effects of the first one. Damn my stupidity. Was he angling to spend the night? Probably. Well, tough shit.
I stood up. “I’ll make you a coffee.” I left the room before he could protest.
When I returned, he had recovered his composure, at least a little, and was examining one of the few pieces of Aunt Charlotte’s porcelain that hadn’t been consigned to a box upstairs. A pretty and valuable little bottle.
He replaced it carefully on the mantelpiece. I cringed and wished I’d put it away. But I didn’t know he was coming, did I?
“It’s eighteenth century Chinese,” I said. “A handmade Fausone snuff bottle.”
He whistled. “Must be worth a few quid. What do these go for now? Five, ten thousand pounds in such good condition?”
My heart jumped. From someone else that might have been a casual remark, but from Neil… I knew him too well. “You know, you had me almost feeling sorry for you,” I said, handing him his coffee and concentrating hard on preventing my hand from shaking. My anger had reached boiling point, but no way would I allow myself to lose control. Not tonight. There had been too many screaming matches in the past, and I never won any of them. “You haven’t changed. You still know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.”
He looked as if I’d slapped him. “No, you’re wrong, Maddie. I was only making conversation. I came here to apologize. For everything. That affair with Liz. It was stupid, wrong. A silly affair that got out of hand.”
“For ten years? Ten years when I believed every word you told me. My God, you and Liz must have had a lot of laughs at my expense. Stupid, gullible Maddie who’ll believe anything… I loved you, Neil. Have you any idea what that’s really like? I truly loved you.” Tears pricked my eyes. No, he mustn’t see me cry. I forced them into retreat. “Now I don’t believe I’ll trust anyone ever again. That’s one of the beauties of living here; I don’t have to see anyone if I don’t want to.” As long as I keep my door locked and don’t answer the bell, I didn’t add.
Neil said nothing for a minute or two. He passed his hand over his face, inhaled deeply and leaned forward. “Is there really no way back for us, Maddie?”
Such arrogance! “ What? Do you seriously believe for one moment that I’d take you back after all that’s happened?”
“I realize now, I was stupid.”
My mouth had gone dry. Every ounce of my will was focused on keeping my voice steady. “Yes. You were stupid. Very. But, contrary to what you may have thought then, I’m not. I was only stupid in one way. Loving and trusting you . Well, not anymore. I’ve put all that behind me. I assume this newfound awakening of yours has plenty to do with my inheritance? Of which, I may add, you are not entitled to one penny.”
His face took on a
A vague memory of a collection of streets all named after prime ministers, from Walpole to Baldwin, sprang to mind. Row upon row of small pre-war terraced houses. His place must be quite tiny. At least I’d been able to afford to rent an apartment in a decent part of the city after our house had been sold and we’d split the proceeds. A ripple of sympathy trickled into my brain, only to be stopped in its flow by recollections of lies, deceit, and a harsh divorce settlement that left him winning as much as it consigned me to the loser’s bin. I remembered the look of triumph on Liz’s face. She had come away with everything she wanted. Not only my property, but my husband as well. It was so predictable, I supposed.
I sipped my second drink, while Neil kept clenching and unclenching his hands. He looked so wretched, I almost relented and poured him another. But no way would I be responsible for him driving over the limit. As it was, he would probably have to stay at least an hour to wear off the effects of the first one. Damn my stupidity. Was he angling to spend the night? Probably. Well, tough shit.
I stood up. “I’ll make you a coffee.” I left the room before he could protest.
When I returned, he had recovered his composure, at least a little, and was examining one of the few pieces of Aunt Charlotte’s porcelain that hadn’t been consigned to a box upstairs. A pretty and valuable little bottle.
He replaced it carefully on the mantelpiece. I cringed and wished I’d put it away. But I didn’t know he was coming, did I?
“It’s eighteenth century Chinese,” I said. “A handmade Fausone snuff bottle.”
He whistled. “Must be worth a few quid. What do these go for now? Five, ten thousand pounds in such good condition?”
My heart jumped. From someone else that might have been a casual remark, but from Neil… I knew him too well. “You know, you had me almost feeling sorry for you,” I said, handing him his coffee and concentrating hard on preventing my hand from shaking. My anger had reached boiling point, but no way would I allow myself to lose control. Not tonight. There had been too many screaming matches in the past, and I never won any of them. “You haven’t changed. You still know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.”
He looked as if I’d slapped him. “No, you’re wrong, Maddie. I was only making conversation. I came here to apologize. For everything. That affair with Liz. It was stupid, wrong. A silly affair that got out of hand.”
“For ten years? Ten years when I believed every word you told me. My God, you and Liz must have had a lot of laughs at my expense. Stupid, gullible Maddie who’ll believe anything… I loved you, Neil. Have you any idea what that’s really like? I truly loved you.” Tears pricked my eyes. No, he mustn’t see me cry. I forced them into retreat. “Now I don’t believe I’ll trust anyone ever again. That’s one of the beauties of living here; I don’t have to see anyone if I don’t want to.” As long as I keep my door locked and don’t answer the bell, I didn’t add.
Neil said nothing for a minute or two. He passed his hand over his face, inhaled deeply and leaned forward. “Is there really no way back for us, Maddie?”
Such arrogance! “ What? Do you seriously believe for one moment that I’d take you back after all that’s happened?”
“I realize now, I was stupid.”
My mouth had gone dry. Every ounce of my will was focused on keeping my voice steady. “Yes. You were stupid. Very. But, contrary to what you may have thought then, I’m not. I was only stupid in one way. Loving and trusting you . Well, not anymore. I’ve put all that behind me. I assume this newfound awakening of yours has plenty to do with my inheritance? Of which, I may add, you are not entitled to one penny.”
His face took on a
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