couldn’t … I couldn’t get it off. He was begging me to help him and I couldn’t. ‘Castor, help me, please help me.’” His voice broke.
Bella bit her lip to stifle a sob.
“So I shouted for help. I screamed until my throat was raw but no one came. Pollux stopped begging after a while. He was just moaning and moaning. And when he stopped … I knew.”
“ Castor. ” She scrambled to her knees and knelt beside him, cupping his face tenderly in one hand and turning it towards her. The absence of emotion in his dark eyes was worse than if he had appeared to be drowning in pain, for she would have drawn him into her embrace then.
“Mrs Robbins told me that I didn’t speak for more than a year. And when I finally did, my voice was never the same. I was never the same.”
Bella drew his head to her breast and held him tightly to her. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.” A shudder ran through him and then she felt his arms slowly encircle her. “You know that it isn’t your fault, don’t you?”
Castor shook his head. “He was my brother and I couldn’t save him.”
“You were a child.” She pulled back and looked into his eyes. The hopelessness within tore at her heart. “Listen to me. It was not your fault.”
“It doesn’t matter. I will carry this guilt as long as I live.”
Bella paused, praying that the right words would come to her. “Would you blame Pollux if it had been you instead of him? Do you think Pollux blames you?”
He closed his eyes. “No, he would not. He was kind and thoughtful. Compassionate, gentle.” When he opened his eyes again, he appeared as if he was gazing into the past. “He was everything I am not and could never hope to be. All who knew him loved him.” He laughed but it contained no mirth. “I didn’t even care if no one liked me. It didn’t matter because I was to be Avalon. Pollux … he balanced me. Perhaps if he had lived, I would not be what I am today.” The regret was heavy in his voice.
“I do not think you turned out too badly,” she said softly.
Castor’s brows lifted ever so slightly. “He would never have allowed me to accept your father’s offer. Only an unconscionable blackguard would have agreed.”
“That is true,” said Bella. “You are most definitely an unscrupulous bastard.”
He blinked, appearing to be lost for words for the first time since she had known him. She smiled. “You are also much loved by your employees. I have never seen such loyalty.”
“I merely pay them well.”
“You give them respect when many other masters do not.”
He shrugged. “I treat them no differently than my parents treated their servants.”
He truly did not know how extraordinary he was. Bella felt a further weakening of her defences. There was no earthly way she would escape this arrangement with her heart unscathed. “I think Pollux would like you to be happy,” she said softly.
“I don’t know if I can. I’m not even certain what happiness is,” he admitted wearily. “I only know that when I look at you, the burdens I carry seem lighter. Just for a moment.”
Bella’s breath caught as her heart swelled. Surely that meant he felt something for her. His next words raised her hopes even higher.
“I’ve never spoken about that day, y’know. Not ever. Not to a single soul.”
She exhaled slowly in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “Then I am glad you chose to tell me.” She bent and pressed her lips gently against his, hoping that he would recognise the tenderness she felt for him in that kiss, then rose to her feet and held out her hand. “Come to bed with me. Let me bear the weight of your worries and concerns for a while.”
Slowly, Castor reached out his hand and clasped hers.
He helped her to undress, leaving her clad in her shift before they climbed onto the bed. She lay on her side and he settled himself behind her, putting an arm about her waist.
Bella was almost asleep when she heard his
Bella bit her lip to stifle a sob.
“So I shouted for help. I screamed until my throat was raw but no one came. Pollux stopped begging after a while. He was just moaning and moaning. And when he stopped … I knew.”
“ Castor. ” She scrambled to her knees and knelt beside him, cupping his face tenderly in one hand and turning it towards her. The absence of emotion in his dark eyes was worse than if he had appeared to be drowning in pain, for she would have drawn him into her embrace then.
“Mrs Robbins told me that I didn’t speak for more than a year. And when I finally did, my voice was never the same. I was never the same.”
Bella drew his head to her breast and held him tightly to her. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.” A shudder ran through him and then she felt his arms slowly encircle her. “You know that it isn’t your fault, don’t you?”
Castor shook his head. “He was my brother and I couldn’t save him.”
“You were a child.” She pulled back and looked into his eyes. The hopelessness within tore at her heart. “Listen to me. It was not your fault.”
“It doesn’t matter. I will carry this guilt as long as I live.”
Bella paused, praying that the right words would come to her. “Would you blame Pollux if it had been you instead of him? Do you think Pollux blames you?”
He closed his eyes. “No, he would not. He was kind and thoughtful. Compassionate, gentle.” When he opened his eyes again, he appeared as if he was gazing into the past. “He was everything I am not and could never hope to be. All who knew him loved him.” He laughed but it contained no mirth. “I didn’t even care if no one liked me. It didn’t matter because I was to be Avalon. Pollux … he balanced me. Perhaps if he had lived, I would not be what I am today.” The regret was heavy in his voice.
“I do not think you turned out too badly,” she said softly.
Castor’s brows lifted ever so slightly. “He would never have allowed me to accept your father’s offer. Only an unconscionable blackguard would have agreed.”
“That is true,” said Bella. “You are most definitely an unscrupulous bastard.”
He blinked, appearing to be lost for words for the first time since she had known him. She smiled. “You are also much loved by your employees. I have never seen such loyalty.”
“I merely pay them well.”
“You give them respect when many other masters do not.”
He shrugged. “I treat them no differently than my parents treated their servants.”
He truly did not know how extraordinary he was. Bella felt a further weakening of her defences. There was no earthly way she would escape this arrangement with her heart unscathed. “I think Pollux would like you to be happy,” she said softly.
“I don’t know if I can. I’m not even certain what happiness is,” he admitted wearily. “I only know that when I look at you, the burdens I carry seem lighter. Just for a moment.”
Bella’s breath caught as her heart swelled. Surely that meant he felt something for her. His next words raised her hopes even higher.
“I’ve never spoken about that day, y’know. Not ever. Not to a single soul.”
She exhaled slowly in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “Then I am glad you chose to tell me.” She bent and pressed her lips gently against his, hoping that he would recognise the tenderness she felt for him in that kiss, then rose to her feet and held out her hand. “Come to bed with me. Let me bear the weight of your worries and concerns for a while.”
Slowly, Castor reached out his hand and clasped hers.
He helped her to undress, leaving her clad in her shift before they climbed onto the bed. She lay on her side and he settled himself behind her, putting an arm about her waist.
Bella was almost asleep when she heard his
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