The Embroidered Shoes by Can Xue Page B

sorry for my husband because all the household chores have become his burden. But I don’t take this seriously once I see his happy-go-lucky attitude. At the beginning my children complained, but before long they got used to the fact and conscientiously shared part of the chores. Because I am very satisfied with my present situation, they feel that it is very natural for me to be sitting in the wheelchair. What outstanding children they are.
    I remember the way my younger son explained the thing once when he came home from school. He said, “Somebody told me that you will die once you get wet from the rain. So don’t go out for too long. It’s dangerous.”
    â€œWho told you that? Who’s poking his nose into my business?”
    My son kept silent. He simply wouldn’t tell me despite my pursuit. I started to feel uneasy. Instinct told me there was some kind of disgusting secret in my son’s statement. Who was the person who couldn’t wait to destroy my peaceful mind? Who on earth was my most direct enemy?
    Suddenly it dawned on me: Could it be the spirit of my father-in-law that refuses to let go? After much thought he seemed to be the only one who could be considered an enemy. I told my husband about my uneasiness.
    He replied, while glancing at our younger son with contempt and disapproval, “Don’t even bother about the child’s words. Pure nonsense. What’s more, you can even order your legs to disappear from vision. This is some unusual ability that nobody can compete with. You should at least have that much confidence, huh?”
    After listening to him I felt not only uneasy but also guilty. My uneasiness did not disappear.
    After several days, my youngest son said to me again, “Mom, aren’t you moving too much? You should pause for a while and think about something, somebody told me.”
    â€œBut who?!” I blew up. In that instant, I found that all the phosphorescence on my body disappeared and both legs started to tremble.
    â€œI can’t tell…”
    â€œTell me immediately!”
    â€œâ€¦ Grandpa.”
    â€œHah! Where is he now?” I jumped up from the wheelchair, staggered toward my youngest son and caught his shoulder. I saw his face turn extremely pale and his eyes open wide as if he had seen a ghost.
    â€œIn his home! At his home! Everybody knows, except you!” My son started to sob. Covering his face with his hands, he ran away.
    Hearing the sound, my husband rushed in and complained loudly, “Why do you bother? It would be so good if you just considered that old guy as dead! Yes, it’s true that he recovered, but to us he’s dead. That’s why I told you he died. We have nothing to do with him.”
    â€œSo he’s not dead!” I howled like a lioness. I added, “I’m going back to my sports team and start my training.”
    â€œAiya! Why bother about training? Why take the trouble? A person like you is simply unsuitable for running the marathon. I say it’s a waste of energy. There are enough marathon champions. But how many can you find who are confined to a wheelchair by their own psychosomatic will? You should forget about the drawbacks. Just think about the advantages of your present life. Doesn’t your food taste better this way?”
    My husband’s words are always very convincing. After a long silence I decided to accept his opinion because my experience tells me that it’s always the most comfortable to deal with people and the world according to his opinion.
    From that time on my legs have no longer been paralyzed, nor do they shine. They are no more than two normal legs. However, I still prefer sitting in a wheelchair without moving my legs, pushing the wheels with my hands instead. Such a life has brought me extreme inner peace.
    My children are as busy as before. On the sly, they go to visit their grandpa. My husband still stands by me. But I no longer