got into college and I’m barely gonna get out. I’ll work some shitty job, probably be in some shitty marriage and have a ton of affairs. That’s me. That’s what God gave me so that’s what I’m gonna do. But that’s not you man. You’re smart. You can do whatever you want.”
Eric exhaled loudly through his nose and put the drink down, raising his eyes to watch the leaves tumble on the pavement. “I have dreams about it almost every night,” he said. “I see my dad in some hole with maggots eating what’s left of him. When I drink and black out, I don’t dream.” He picked up his drink and took a long pull. “I think you and him were the only friends I had.”
“You still got me.”
“I know.”
Jason looked to some girls that were walking by and waved. One of them said, “Hi Jason.” He turned to Eric. “Come out with me tonight.”
“I don’t feel like it,” Eric said.
“So? Who feels like doing anything we do? Just come out.”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jason said, happy. “I’m goin’ to Donna’s house right now but we’ll swing by around seven to pick you up.” He rose and watched his friend awhile in silence before walking out to the parking lot.
Eric finished his drink and lay down on the warm grass, squinting at the sun and bright blue sky above him. A few clouds drifted lazily by, slow moving giants that gave him a little shade now and again. He took a deep breath and got up. He had no desire to be here when Jason came to pick him up.
Most bars were closed but there was one that doubled as a grill that would be open for breakfast this early. As Eric drove down the empty streets heading toward the bar, he realized for the first time that he hated this place. He could see why his father wanted to leave it so badly. James and his mother had fought once about moving to California. James thought there was more opportunity there and no winters. He said it would give Eric more options when college time comes around. His mother refused to go, saying all her friends and social clubs were here. At the time, Eric thought his dad just wanted to be somewhere more exciting. But now, he could see that James was trying to get out. A small town could make someone feel like a noose was around their neck and the thought of moving might help them wiggle free. But the noose just gets tighter over the years, like it did with his father.
The bar was dim and filled with cigarette smoke as Eric walked in. A good place to get drunk. He ordered three beers and a Long Island iced tea, taking a table so that he wouldn’t have to talk to the bartender. The few people here were getting drunk too; after all, who eats breakfast at a bar? Their faces looked sad. Gray and lifeless. They looked like dying men, and there was silence between them.
Eric finished his drinks and stood up to leave. By now he was thoroughly drunk; right at the point between feeling outgoing and feeling sick. His face was hot and he was sweating as he stepped outside into the sunlight. There was something odd about being drunk during the day; like it just wasn’t meant to be. The body seemed to have a hard time adjusting.
He climbed into the car, fumbling a little with his keys, and drove away. He could tell he was swerving because the lines in the road kept going underneath the car, but other than that he felt like he was doing all right. Besides, the roads were nearly empty.
He got all the way to the Safeway by the dorms before he saw red and blue flashing lights in his mirrors.
CHAPTER
12
After being processed, Eric was taken to a large holding cell at the precinct the officers called the “Pit.” It was essentially a large concrete room with a toilet and sink used to pack in drunks until they sobered up. It stunk of vomit, feces, piss and sweat. The officer gave him a slight push as he walked in and the door slammed behind him. All manner of people were crammed in; Blacks, Puerto
Eric exhaled loudly through his nose and put the drink down, raising his eyes to watch the leaves tumble on the pavement. “I have dreams about it almost every night,” he said. “I see my dad in some hole with maggots eating what’s left of him. When I drink and black out, I don’t dream.” He picked up his drink and took a long pull. “I think you and him were the only friends I had.”
“You still got me.”
“I know.”
Jason looked to some girls that were walking by and waved. One of them said, “Hi Jason.” He turned to Eric. “Come out with me tonight.”
“I don’t feel like it,” Eric said.
“So? Who feels like doing anything we do? Just come out.”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jason said, happy. “I’m goin’ to Donna’s house right now but we’ll swing by around seven to pick you up.” He rose and watched his friend awhile in silence before walking out to the parking lot.
Eric finished his drink and lay down on the warm grass, squinting at the sun and bright blue sky above him. A few clouds drifted lazily by, slow moving giants that gave him a little shade now and again. He took a deep breath and got up. He had no desire to be here when Jason came to pick him up.
Most bars were closed but there was one that doubled as a grill that would be open for breakfast this early. As Eric drove down the empty streets heading toward the bar, he realized for the first time that he hated this place. He could see why his father wanted to leave it so badly. James and his mother had fought once about moving to California. James thought there was more opportunity there and no winters. He said it would give Eric more options when college time comes around. His mother refused to go, saying all her friends and social clubs were here. At the time, Eric thought his dad just wanted to be somewhere more exciting. But now, he could see that James was trying to get out. A small town could make someone feel like a noose was around their neck and the thought of moving might help them wiggle free. But the noose just gets tighter over the years, like it did with his father.
The bar was dim and filled with cigarette smoke as Eric walked in. A good place to get drunk. He ordered three beers and a Long Island iced tea, taking a table so that he wouldn’t have to talk to the bartender. The few people here were getting drunk too; after all, who eats breakfast at a bar? Their faces looked sad. Gray and lifeless. They looked like dying men, and there was silence between them.
Eric finished his drinks and stood up to leave. By now he was thoroughly drunk; right at the point between feeling outgoing and feeling sick. His face was hot and he was sweating as he stepped outside into the sunlight. There was something odd about being drunk during the day; like it just wasn’t meant to be. The body seemed to have a hard time adjusting.
He climbed into the car, fumbling a little with his keys, and drove away. He could tell he was swerving because the lines in the road kept going underneath the car, but other than that he felt like he was doing all right. Besides, the roads were nearly empty.
He got all the way to the Safeway by the dorms before he saw red and blue flashing lights in his mirrors.
CHAPTER
12
After being processed, Eric was taken to a large holding cell at the precinct the officers called the “Pit.” It was essentially a large concrete room with a toilet and sink used to pack in drunks until they sobered up. It stunk of vomit, feces, piss and sweat. The officer gave him a slight push as he walked in and the door slammed behind him. All manner of people were crammed in; Blacks, Puerto
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