The Extraordinary Adventures of Ordinary Boy, Book One: The Hero Revealed by William Boniface Page B

there something I can help you with?” the nail lady said, clearly irritated that we had interrupted her important task.
    “We’d like to see the president, please,” I asked aspolitely as possible. I also flashed my best “adorable child” expression. Adults usually love that. But not her.
    “It ain’t gonna happen, kid,” she said, cracking a wad of bubble gum. “There’s only one way to meet the president, and that’s to have an appointment.”
    “Could we make an appointment?” I asked hopefully. I didn’t bother with the sweet expression this time.
    “Let me see …” She pretended to ponder my request for about five seconds. “NO!”
    I couldn’t believe that the Amazing Indestructo, the paragon of all that’s good and right in the world, would have such an unpleasant person working for him.
    “Okay, Stench,” I said. “Maybe you can convince her.”
    The receptionist looked at us suspiciously. Plasma Girl and I knew to hold our breaths, but Fingernail Woman, or whatever her name was, did not. As Stench’s powerful stink reached her nostrils, we watched her turn pale and clutch her desk with her colorful fingertips. A second later she was on her feet and running through the door that led to the executive offices. I grabbed the door before it closed and motioned with my head for Plasma Girl and Stench to follow me. The door clicked shut behind us, and it was safe to breathe again.
    “Okay,” I said, “the annoying woman went to the left, so I say we head to the right.”
    We ran down the carpeted hallway, trying all the doors on each side in hope of finding the one that would lead us to the president of Indestructo Industries. Every door was locked. When we reached the end of the corridor, there was only one door left to try. I reached for the knob, and, to my surprise, it turned. But that was nothing compared to the surprise I got when I opened the door. Because standing there, right inside the doorway, was that epitome of all that is evil, Professor Brain-Drain himself.

CHAPTER NINE
    Business Is Business
     
    We all stood there frozen with terror as Professor BrainDrain stared down at us. It was impossible to make out his expression behind the incredibly thick glasses he wore, but there was no mistaking who we were dealing with. He was dressed completely in black except for his white lab coat, and the colander on his head shone eerily beneath the fluorescent lighting. And then

    something truly odd happened. The door swung open a little farther and I noticed that there was another Professor Brain-Drain standing behind him. I poked my head inside and to my utter astonishment saw dozens of Professor Brain-Drains. There were short Brain-Drains and tall Brain-Drains. There were fat ones and skinny ones. There were Brain-Drains with hair, and Brain-Drains with warts. There was even one Professor Brain-Drain that was a woman. Finally, a Brain-Drain with bushy red hair and a potato chip bowl on his head spoke up.
    “Don’t you kids think you’re a little young to stand a chance?”
    “Stand a chance of what?” I asked. “What’s going on here?”
    “The tryouts, of course,” said a Brain-Drain dressed in black leather and sporting a handlebar mustache.
    “There was an open casting call for the role of

    Professor Brain-Drain for AI’s television show,” explained another Brain-Drain as he practiced his tap-dancing routine.
    “We’re all here to audition,” added the woman who was dressed as Professor Brain-Drain.
    “But Professor Brain-Drain is a man,” Stench pointed out.
    “That’s just the kind of conventional thinking that will keep you a slave to society your entire life,” she sniffed with disdain.
    While Stench was trying to figure that one out, I decided it was time to get back to our original goal and began to back out of the room. I motioned to Plasma Girl and Stench to follow.
    “Well, good luck to all of you,” I said as we stepped back into the hallway. Then I