The Extremely Epic Viking Tale of Yondersaay by Aoife Lennon-Ritchie Page A

know.
    “Free-range,” Hamish grunted.
    “All the same, best not,” Granny said. “Maybe next year.”
    “I’ll have your order run over to Gargle View Cottage later this afternoon, Granny Miller,” Hamish said. He did not ask for Granny’s name because he already knew it. He did not ask for Granny’s address because he already knew that too. Ruairi was not thrilled that this particular person knew where they lived, but everybody knew everybody on Yondersaay, so of course he knew Granny’s address. Mum thanked Hamish Sinclair and wished him a Merry Christmas, and they all left the shop.
    “Watch out for the mad one on your way out—she’s back from her break, out there yelling ‘No meat!’” Hamish Sinclair called out to them as they were leaving. “ Real men eat nothing but meat … and the occasional Cadbury’s creme egg.”
    Ruairi had a quick glance back into the shop on his way out the door. He caught Hamish Sinclair looking straight at him. Ruairi couldn’t move—he was held in the stare. He felt Dani tug at his arm and let himself be led out of the shop. The last thing Ruairi saw as they exited was the giant butcher picking up a tiny phone, and dialling a number.
    A very angry woman about Mum’s age was pacing outside the butcher’s shop. She was shouting, “Meat is murder! Meat is an atrocity!” in such a furious way that Ruairi was more than a little frightened of her. She was wearing old trousers made of patches and a coat that may well have been made out of her own hair and bits of things swept off the floor.
    “Meat is murder! You’re a murderer !” she shouted viciously at Granny as she stepped across the picket line. “You may as well have slit the cow’s throat yourself—” She paused, and her face cracked into a big grin. Her shoulders relaxed, and she became positively sweet. “Granny Miller! Is that you? I didn’t recognize you for a minute there! You’re looking fierce well. How are you? Lovely day, isn’t it?”
    Granny squinted at the protester. “Little Alice Cogle! I don’t believe it. It must be years! Well, how are you? You know you haven’t changed a bit.”
    Alice blushed and said that Granny Miller was very kind to say so. “I’m the best—doing very well.”
    “And you’re doing this now, Alice,” Granny said as she looked around uncertainly at the posters and placards on the ground. “How are you finding it?”
    “Well, the hours are good, you know, nine to five, which suits me down to the ground. And you? Are you back for the Christmas, is it?” Alice Cogle asked.
    Dani and Ruairi wandered on up the street toward the bakery, which was just a few doors down from the butcher’s shop. They went quickly and didn’t even glance in the window of the new boutique in case Mum noticed it and decided she wanted to go in for a browse.
    “Exactly right. I’m here with the family for the few days,” Granny was saying to Alice Cogle as Ruairi turned the handle on the bakery door. “I have to say it’s lovely to be home at this time of year.”
    “Of course! It’s usually for the summer we have you,” Alice said.
    “That’s right. And have you stopped doing part-time work for Eoin Lerwick at the greengrocer’s?” Granny asked.
    Granny Miller and Alice Cogle’s muffled conversation carried into the bakery a few minutes later when the door opened for Mum, who had stopped to look in the window of the new boutique. “That’s odd!” Granny Miller said, as the door swung closed.
    Ruairi barely heard it, because as soon as he set foot inside the door his attention was utterly, wholly, and absolutely taken over by the delicious tarts and cakes and buns in front of them. Both he and Dani were suddenly starving . The shop was three times the size it was the last time they were here on their summer holidays two and a half years earlier. There were café tables now and an espresso machine on one of the counters. Mum sat down and ordered a coffee, and two hot