but unfortunately the evening must come to an end.” He looked to Pedro and continued, “I must thank you for your invitation to dinner.“
Pedro bowed and looked to me. “It was a pleasure, and a pleasure I’d very much like to have again.”
I shivered.
3
The Coming of Shame
I went through the next few days as if in a trance.
My mother worried, I think she thought I was drifting off, somehow becoming lost to the magic. Struggling with my own guilt, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I convinced myself that I wouldn’t have been able to in any case because of the binding their leader had put upon me.
Slowly, I pulled myself out of the haze, helped by my mother reducing the amount of lotus she added to my meals. In the end, I reminded myself, it hadn’t been me drawing the blade across the boy’s throat. I was just a witness. If anything, I was also a victim - if perhaps a luckier one.
And so I went on, trying to soothe my troubles away. It didn’t work, not at first, but soon I found some solace and my malaise began to fade.
Pedro didn’t call on me, and for that I was glad. I even began to think I could put the whole thing behind me and settle for a simpler man.
Until I discovered I was pregnant.
Before long I wasn’t the only one who knew. My mother realised and told Father. The maids overheard, and through them the news of my shame spread.
Pedro’s next visit started without the charm of our first meeting.
I was sitting in our household’s courtyard, a place I’d tried to find peace in by greening like Rosa Sorrenta’s famed garden. My efforts had shown some success, but early autumn in Ossard was no time for new roses to take.
I heard the bell ring, and listened as one of our maids attended to it. I expected it to be a messenger - since word of my pregnancy had got out, my parents’friends had stopped calling, all too embarrassed by my condition.
Soft voices hummed, followed by quiet as the maid hurried away to seek my mother.
My parents weren’t speaking to me. They hadn’t since I’d confirmed my pregnancy, something feared by my mother since she’d seen the state of my torn undergarments. Worst of all, she’d also forbidden Sef to talk to me.
The little I did want to say in my defence couldn’t be said; the cultist’s casting blocked every one of my attempts to talk of it. It left my mother and father, and even Sef to think the worst of me.
I heard the click of the front door’s latch; our caller had either left or let himself in. The curiosity as to which saw me turn around. At the same time, a gentle whisper of warning swirled about me.
I looked up to see Pedro step through an opened door that led into the courtyard. Once on the cobbles, he just stood there and gazed at me. After a pause he swallowed and said, “Juvela, how are you?”
“I’m well,” I said in a shaking voice as I got to my feet.
He came forward, retrieving something from his belt. He stopped before me and then moved to offer it; a small leather pouch. As our hands met, he looked to me and said, “This is medicine from Evora, it will end your malady .”
Speechless, I didn’t accept it.
His eyes widened. “You must take it. Have your maid mix it into a broth…”
“May I help you?” My mother’s voice cut off his words.
We both turned to see her stepping into the courtyard, the maid behind her in the shadows. Sef also stood in the house, watching, but his hand rested on the hilt of his sword while his face flushed red. I’d never seen him so tense.
Pedro turned and bowed, closing his fist over the pouch. “Lady Van Leuwin, I am Pedro Liberigo.”
She stared at him. “I know who you are.” And it was obvious that she did. “Have you come to belatedly ask for her hand?”
Pedro stood stunned and for once his charming tongue lay still.
I paled at the suggestion.
My mother stepped forward. “Well, have you?”
To his credit, he stood his ground. “No, I’ve not come
Pedro bowed and looked to me. “It was a pleasure, and a pleasure I’d very much like to have again.”
I shivered.
3
The Coming of Shame
I went through the next few days as if in a trance.
My mother worried, I think she thought I was drifting off, somehow becoming lost to the magic. Struggling with my own guilt, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. I convinced myself that I wouldn’t have been able to in any case because of the binding their leader had put upon me.
Slowly, I pulled myself out of the haze, helped by my mother reducing the amount of lotus she added to my meals. In the end, I reminded myself, it hadn’t been me drawing the blade across the boy’s throat. I was just a witness. If anything, I was also a victim - if perhaps a luckier one.
And so I went on, trying to soothe my troubles away. It didn’t work, not at first, but soon I found some solace and my malaise began to fade.
Pedro didn’t call on me, and for that I was glad. I even began to think I could put the whole thing behind me and settle for a simpler man.
Until I discovered I was pregnant.
Before long I wasn’t the only one who knew. My mother realised and told Father. The maids overheard, and through them the news of my shame spread.
Pedro’s next visit started without the charm of our first meeting.
I was sitting in our household’s courtyard, a place I’d tried to find peace in by greening like Rosa Sorrenta’s famed garden. My efforts had shown some success, but early autumn in Ossard was no time for new roses to take.
I heard the bell ring, and listened as one of our maids attended to it. I expected it to be a messenger - since word of my pregnancy had got out, my parents’friends had stopped calling, all too embarrassed by my condition.
Soft voices hummed, followed by quiet as the maid hurried away to seek my mother.
My parents weren’t speaking to me. They hadn’t since I’d confirmed my pregnancy, something feared by my mother since she’d seen the state of my torn undergarments. Worst of all, she’d also forbidden Sef to talk to me.
The little I did want to say in my defence couldn’t be said; the cultist’s casting blocked every one of my attempts to talk of it. It left my mother and father, and even Sef to think the worst of me.
I heard the click of the front door’s latch; our caller had either left or let himself in. The curiosity as to which saw me turn around. At the same time, a gentle whisper of warning swirled about me.
I looked up to see Pedro step through an opened door that led into the courtyard. Once on the cobbles, he just stood there and gazed at me. After a pause he swallowed and said, “Juvela, how are you?”
“I’m well,” I said in a shaking voice as I got to my feet.
He came forward, retrieving something from his belt. He stopped before me and then moved to offer it; a small leather pouch. As our hands met, he looked to me and said, “This is medicine from Evora, it will end your malady .”
Speechless, I didn’t accept it.
His eyes widened. “You must take it. Have your maid mix it into a broth…”
“May I help you?” My mother’s voice cut off his words.
We both turned to see her stepping into the courtyard, the maid behind her in the shadows. Sef also stood in the house, watching, but his hand rested on the hilt of his sword while his face flushed red. I’d never seen him so tense.
Pedro turned and bowed, closing his fist over the pouch. “Lady Van Leuwin, I am Pedro Liberigo.”
She stared at him. “I know who you are.” And it was obvious that she did. “Have you come to belatedly ask for her hand?”
Pedro stood stunned and for once his charming tongue lay still.
I paled at the suggestion.
My mother stepped forward. “Well, have you?”
To his credit, he stood his ground. “No, I’ve not come
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