The Flawed Mistress (The Summerville Journals) by Margaret Brazear Page A

waiting, My Lady,” he said quietly, then held out his arm for his wife to take.  She did so
reluctantly.  “We do not want to outstay our welcome,” he went on. 
       
They left, leaving me to ponder what had happened.  I pitied this girl who
seemed to have been pushed into a marriage that she could never be happy with,
but more than that I pitied the Earl. 
       
He called on me the following day, alone this time.
       
“My Lady,” he said immediately.  “I feel I ought to seek your forgiveness
for yesterday.  I had this idea that you might be able to learn what
troubled my wife, since she refuses to tell me.  It was very wrong of me
to take advantage like that.”
       
“No matter,” I replied.
       
For the very first time in my life I felt that someone needed me, needed me for
myself and my opinion and experience, not my body or my beauty.  I was
rather pleased, and intended to answer him, even though the subject was
embarrassing to me. 
       
“Did you?”  He said.  “Did you learn anything?  Is there
anything I can do to help her, or should I abandon the marriage as a lost
cause?”
       
I felt uncomfortable discussing such intimate details with any man and I hardly
knew him or his poor wife.  But he had asked me for a favour and I owed
him that much, owed him an honest observation.
       
 “Forgive me, My Lord, but your wife is a child.”  I paused then,
trying to think of the right words.  It seemed to me that Rosemary was
afraid of what I was afraid of, though I had no idea what to call it. 
Love had nothing to do with it as far as I was concerned.  “She is
terrified of the act of intimacy, if that is what you have done to her, and
will never accept it as normal.  That is what I learned, if it is of any
use.”  I paused and drew a deep breath to enable me to go on. 
"Her parents were cruel to make her marry.  I believe she is one of
those unfortunate people who will always be childlike."
       
His expression did not change and I felt I was not telling him anything that he
did not already know.
       
“I feel I am trespassing on your good nature, but I really do not have anyone
else with whom I can share this.”  He paused thoughtfully, as though
wondering whether to go on.  At last he did and it was an intimate
revelation I could have lived without knowing.  “My marriage to Rosemary has
never been consummated.  She was so afraid I could
not..............................”  He broke off then, leaving me to
wonder whether he actually wanted a reply.
       
“A marriage like that can be annulled, I believe, My Lord,” I said quietly,
wondering why he had not thought of that himself.
       
“Yes, I know,” he said, “but it would require proof, would it not?  An examination of some sort to confirm that she is still a virgin.”
       
I nodded, suddenly terrified as I recalled that day when my mother and I had
arrived at my uncle’s house, when his physician had examined me after my
ordeal.  I was not about to recommend that be done to any other woman.
       
I looked up at the Earl, blushing, almost sure that he had read my thoughts and
could see what I could see.  And I could not believe that I was actually
having this conversation with a man, especially a man I had known for such a
brief time.  He was shaking his head.
       
“I cannot subject her to anything so invasive,” he said quietly.  “It
would be grossly unfair and it is unfair to be talking about her like this.”
       
“What will you do?”
       
“I will send her back to Summerville Hall, to my mother, and promise not to go
near her again.  That should at least give her some peace even if I do
have to forget any idea of having a son to succeed me.  I was hoping that
you might know of some way I could help her, or someone could help her, but if
what you say is true, she cannot be helped.”
       
His words tore at my heart, he sounded so disappointed, but