turned to Alice. “I’m really surprised, Al. I thought you and I had the same plans. I mean, we know the IHMs. I didn’t think there was any question.”
“I haven’t mentioned it,” Alice admitted, “but I have been giving it some thought.”
“What is it?” Rose probed. “You getting cold feet about the convent?”
“That’s not it … at least I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s the question of having a choice.”
“I don’t understand,” Rose said.
“There are lots of different orders,” Alice explained. “There are teachers and nurses and … and missionaries! We haven’t even discussed missionaries!”
“Do you think you might prefer one of those alternatives? ’Cause if you do, I wouldn’t want to stand in your way. I mean, it’s too big a choice for you to depend on somebody else to make.”
Silence. Even though the girls were clearly aware of his presence, Mike felt as if he were eavesdropping.
“I want to be with you,” Alice said finally. “That’s part of it. But I also want a bigger choice on what I’ll do with my life in a religious order.” Her brow wrinkled. “I’m confused.”
“Well …” Rose shook her head. Her freshly brushed hair danced about. “We can’t plan that we’ll be together. We have to give up a lot of personal freedom when we become nuns. Far as I know, we’ll have precious few choices. Even our new names in the Order won’t be up to us. We can request, but others will decide them. And if we don’t even get to choose our own names, it’s not likely we’ll have much say in where we’ll serve or with whom.”
Mike might as well have been invisible.
“I’m confused,” Alice acknowledged. “I want to be a nun. I want to be a ‘Bride of Christ.’ I want to wear the habit and I want to live up to what the habit stands for. I want to willingly—gladly—accept any sacrifice that I’m called to make.
“That’s today. Yesterday I didn’t want to be a nun. Tomorrow I may want to get married and have kids. I don’t want to keep changing my mind, going backward and forward. It’s driving me nuts.” A tear slid down her cheek. More tears filled her eyes, waiting to fall. She wiped them away.
Rose moved closer and put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “I had no idea,” she admitted. “I just had no idea. Isn’t there anyone you’ve talked to about your decision? Isn’t there anyone you could discuss it with? One of our teachers? Your folks?”
“Oh, Rose, I’ve got more confidence in you than in anybody else. I know … I really know that you’re the one to help me make up my mind once and for all.”
“I don’t know what to say, Al. I want to help you. But I’ve got to be objective. I’m just a kid. Like you. I don’t have any experience with something as important as this.”
“Prayer.” Mike spoke the word with no particular emphasis.
“Huh?” Alice wasn’t sure what he’d said.
“Prayer?” Rose echoed.
“I don’t mean to horn in on your discussion. But”—he shrugged—“I really couldn’t help it.”
“I don’t mind,” Alice said. “In fact, I was kind of hoping you’d throw your two cents in.”
Rose was smiling. “You hit the nail right on the head, brother. The one thing we should’ve thought of right away. Here we are, talking about a religious vocation, and we’ve done a great job of missing the point. We plan on spending our lives in prayer … and we forgot all about it when it most counted.”
“You two,” Mike said, “have been carrying on as if we were going to ship you off to the convent tomorrow. Migosh, you’ve got five years! Plenty of time, if you use it well.”
‘You’re right, pal,” Rose said. “And who knows what’ll happen during these next years?” She turned back to Alice. “You might even find a nun you have confidence in— somebody you can really open up to. But more than anything else we simply have to pray about it. And that means all of
“I haven’t mentioned it,” Alice admitted, “but I have been giving it some thought.”
“What is it?” Rose probed. “You getting cold feet about the convent?”
“That’s not it … at least I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s the question of having a choice.”
“I don’t understand,” Rose said.
“There are lots of different orders,” Alice explained. “There are teachers and nurses and … and missionaries! We haven’t even discussed missionaries!”
“Do you think you might prefer one of those alternatives? ’Cause if you do, I wouldn’t want to stand in your way. I mean, it’s too big a choice for you to depend on somebody else to make.”
Silence. Even though the girls were clearly aware of his presence, Mike felt as if he were eavesdropping.
“I want to be with you,” Alice said finally. “That’s part of it. But I also want a bigger choice on what I’ll do with my life in a religious order.” Her brow wrinkled. “I’m confused.”
“Well …” Rose shook her head. Her freshly brushed hair danced about. “We can’t plan that we’ll be together. We have to give up a lot of personal freedom when we become nuns. Far as I know, we’ll have precious few choices. Even our new names in the Order won’t be up to us. We can request, but others will decide them. And if we don’t even get to choose our own names, it’s not likely we’ll have much say in where we’ll serve or with whom.”
Mike might as well have been invisible.
“I’m confused,” Alice acknowledged. “I want to be a nun. I want to be a ‘Bride of Christ.’ I want to wear the habit and I want to live up to what the habit stands for. I want to willingly—gladly—accept any sacrifice that I’m called to make.
“That’s today. Yesterday I didn’t want to be a nun. Tomorrow I may want to get married and have kids. I don’t want to keep changing my mind, going backward and forward. It’s driving me nuts.” A tear slid down her cheek. More tears filled her eyes, waiting to fall. She wiped them away.
Rose moved closer and put an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “I had no idea,” she admitted. “I just had no idea. Isn’t there anyone you’ve talked to about your decision? Isn’t there anyone you could discuss it with? One of our teachers? Your folks?”
“Oh, Rose, I’ve got more confidence in you than in anybody else. I know … I really know that you’re the one to help me make up my mind once and for all.”
“I don’t know what to say, Al. I want to help you. But I’ve got to be objective. I’m just a kid. Like you. I don’t have any experience with something as important as this.”
“Prayer.” Mike spoke the word with no particular emphasis.
“Huh?” Alice wasn’t sure what he’d said.
“Prayer?” Rose echoed.
“I don’t mean to horn in on your discussion. But”—he shrugged—“I really couldn’t help it.”
“I don’t mind,” Alice said. “In fact, I was kind of hoping you’d throw your two cents in.”
Rose was smiling. “You hit the nail right on the head, brother. The one thing we should’ve thought of right away. Here we are, talking about a religious vocation, and we’ve done a great job of missing the point. We plan on spending our lives in prayer … and we forgot all about it when it most counted.”
“You two,” Mike said, “have been carrying on as if we were going to ship you off to the convent tomorrow. Migosh, you’ve got five years! Plenty of time, if you use it well.”
‘You’re right, pal,” Rose said. “And who knows what’ll happen during these next years?” She turned back to Alice. “You might even find a nun you have confidence in— somebody you can really open up to. But more than anything else we simply have to pray about it. And that means all of
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