The General and the Horse-Lord by Sarah Black Page B

molting,” Gabriel said. “You were kidding about the date, right?”
    “Right.”
    “You crack me up. We’re a lawyer and a professor. Our days of kicking somebody’s ass in a dark bar are long over. What are we going to do, bury him in paperwork?”
    “Maybe.” John leaned back against the headboard and tugged on Gabriel until he rolled over, settled his head in John’s lap. He reached down, brushed the silky dark hair from Gabriel’s forehead. He looked happy, John thought, lighthearted and happy, like some burden he usually carried had been put down for the night. “You never spent the night with me before. You laughed in your sleep once, and it made me laugh too. I like sleeping with you.”
    “I did sleep with you once. Remember… where was it, Frankfurt? That was ’88, I think. Or ’87.”
    “Oh, yeah! Just outside Munich, my friend, and you tasted German sausage for the first time in a big outdoor beer garden. They kept bringing you those pints, and you were shouting, ‘Another sausage! And bring one for my friend!’.”
    “God, those were good sausages. I don’t think I’ve had another one since that even came close.”
    “I’m happy you’re here. In the morning light you still look like you did when you were a baby pilot.”
    Gabriel reached up, traced the hair at John’s temple. John knew there was a little silver visible among the brown, and he wondered if Gabriel thought he was starting to look old. “John, I’ve asked Martha for a divorce.”
    “Gabriel, I’m so sorry.” He looked down into his friend’s face, saw the sadness, the tiredness. “I remember how much… how much you wanted that to work. A family of your own, kids, and a real home.”
    “I guess I thought it was just a matter of working at it, trying hard to take care of everyone, make them all happy. It’s been a hard lesson for me to swallow. That I can’t succeed at the things that mean the most to me. That I can fail at something so important. But I can’t change who I am, or how I feel, through force of will. And I’ve started to wonder… why can’t I be happy too? You know, why can’t I be myself? Is it really that hard? Anyway, I wanted to let you know. I’m moving out this weekend. Or sooner, if I get home and my clothes are scattered all over the street.”
    “Is Martha…?”
    “Pissed off and feeling vindictive. Looking for someone to blame. She’s gonna use the kids against me. She’s already telling herself it’s in their best interest.”
    “What did you tell her?”
    “I told her I didn’t love her anymore.”
    “Move in with me if you want. I’ve got plenty of room.”
    Gabriel shook his head. “That’s not why I told you. I just wanted you to know.”
    “You have someone else?”
    Gabriel shook his head, smiling. “No. No one else. Never anyone else.”
    They looked at each other then, old friends, wondering how this would change things between them. Then Gabriel smiled up at him, and John’s heart turned over in his chest, and he leaned over and kissed him. Never anyone else . Not for either of them. He wondered if Gabriel knew how much he loved him. Maybe this wasn’t the time to say it, though. His life was too complicated already.
    “John, Kim might be right. I mean, his idea about how to handle this. He might be right.”
    “He is right. He’s very perceptive, very intuitive, and he believes in redemption. I would like him to have the freedom to continue to believe in redemption for the rest of his life. I believe redemption will only occur after I crush that fucking worm under my boot heel. I don’t want him to look at Kim and see weakness, not ever again. And he will, unless I bring a large deterrent to bear and shoot it up his ass.”
    “Agreed. So what’s the current status?”
    “I have a meeting with President Wainright today at eleven. I’m going to present the data I’ve collected and see what he plans to do. I sent him a copy a couple of days ago. The