happy
couple on the television screen. His jaw flexed some
more.
"Leave it be, Alane. You don't want to
know the story."
"Yes. I do. What could
possibly be so bad?" she questioned, then added jokingly, "Unless,
of course, you killed her."
His features never changed, but he
turned his head slowly and nailed her with dead, emotionless eyes.
Tingles of icy spiders crawled up her spine and into her scalp. He
couldn't have! Not Jared!
"Don't even try to convince me of that!
I'll never believe you could murder anyone, especially a woman you
loved."
He turned his gaze away, back to the
TV. She picked up the remote and switched off the television, but
he didn't seem to notice.
"Talk to me, damn it! The truth can't
be as bad as what I could imagine." She'd give up everything she
owned to be able to shake him right now. "Nothing will convince me
you murdered your wife!"
"I didn't murder her, but I killed her.
Her and our unborn baby."
Alane wanted to scream.
"Jared, look at me," she said in the
calmest voice she could muster.
His head didn't turn, but he slid his
gaze to her.
"You've got to tell me now. You can't
drop something like that in my lap and then not explain. What
happened? Tell me how she died. Start at the beginning. Hell, start
anywhere, just tell me what happened."
Jared studied her face with cold,
hopeless eyes. Finally, defeat shadowed his features and he drew in
a deep, resigned breath.
"I didn't love her."
Alane was horrified with herself at the
wave of relief she felt. She swept it away and prodded him to go
on.
"Our parents wanted a union of
families. She was the only daughter, and I was the only son. There
was never any question. Back then children married who their
parents told them to marry."
Alane only nodded, not wanting to
interrupt him.
"She was in her seventeenth year. We
married on my twenty-fifth birthday. I was fond enough of her. And
I was gentle with her. I suppose I even grew to love her in time,
but like a sister. I felt no passion for her, no matter how hard I
searched my soul for it.
"She'd tried from our wedding night to
conceive. But it took three years. She was nearly hysterical with
worry, until it actually happened. By that time she'd changed from
a sweet, gentle child to a possessive, clutching
harridan."
He stopped for a moment, as if
searching his soul. Alane was afraid to breathe. Afraid to break
the spell and send him back into himself.
"One night I was going upstairs to
dress. By that time I usually spent my evenings out, looking
for...something...missing in my life. I'd tried to find it at home,
but though Katherine had been a good wife, I could never give all
of myself to her, nor accept everything she offered to
give."
Katherine . Her name had been Katherine.
"She wanted me to stay home that night.
Her parents were visiting, to celebrate the announcement of the
child, but they'd been there a month and I desperately needed to
get away. Katherine followed me up the stairs, begging me to stay.
She grabbed my arm to stop me and I yanked it back." He jerked his
arm, as if reliving the moment. "She lost her balance and fell
backward. I tried to grab her," he reached out, trancelike, "but
she pulled me with her. We fell. All I could hear through the pain
was the thump of our bodies and the crunch of breaking bones, until
we landed on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.
"When I opened my eyes, Katherine was
dead. I knew it. I don't know how long I was unconscious, how long
her parents and the servants stood over us. I looked up at her
mother, standing there, sobbing. The last thing I remember was the
pure venom in her voice as she cursed me. 'May your soul know no
peace, Jared Elliott, until you give up your existence in the name
of love.' I have wandered the earth ever since."
CHAPTER SIX
Jared finally dragged his
gaze back to hers, braced for the disgust, the revulsion he knew
would be in her eyes. But all her eyes held were shimmering tears.
And
couple on the television screen. His jaw flexed some
more.
"Leave it be, Alane. You don't want to
know the story."
"Yes. I do. What could
possibly be so bad?" she questioned, then added jokingly, "Unless,
of course, you killed her."
His features never changed, but he
turned his head slowly and nailed her with dead, emotionless eyes.
Tingles of icy spiders crawled up her spine and into her scalp. He
couldn't have! Not Jared!
"Don't even try to convince me of that!
I'll never believe you could murder anyone, especially a woman you
loved."
He turned his gaze away, back to the
TV. She picked up the remote and switched off the television, but
he didn't seem to notice.
"Talk to me, damn it! The truth can't
be as bad as what I could imagine." She'd give up everything she
owned to be able to shake him right now. "Nothing will convince me
you murdered your wife!"
"I didn't murder her, but I killed her.
Her and our unborn baby."
Alane wanted to scream.
"Jared, look at me," she said in the
calmest voice she could muster.
His head didn't turn, but he slid his
gaze to her.
"You've got to tell me now. You can't
drop something like that in my lap and then not explain. What
happened? Tell me how she died. Start at the beginning. Hell, start
anywhere, just tell me what happened."
Jared studied her face with cold,
hopeless eyes. Finally, defeat shadowed his features and he drew in
a deep, resigned breath.
"I didn't love her."
Alane was horrified with herself at the
wave of relief she felt. She swept it away and prodded him to go
on.
"Our parents wanted a union of
families. She was the only daughter, and I was the only son. There
was never any question. Back then children married who their
parents told them to marry."
Alane only nodded, not wanting to
interrupt him.
"She was in her seventeenth year. We
married on my twenty-fifth birthday. I was fond enough of her. And
I was gentle with her. I suppose I even grew to love her in time,
but like a sister. I felt no passion for her, no matter how hard I
searched my soul for it.
"She'd tried from our wedding night to
conceive. But it took three years. She was nearly hysterical with
worry, until it actually happened. By that time she'd changed from
a sweet, gentle child to a possessive, clutching
harridan."
He stopped for a moment, as if
searching his soul. Alane was afraid to breathe. Afraid to break
the spell and send him back into himself.
"One night I was going upstairs to
dress. By that time I usually spent my evenings out, looking
for...something...missing in my life. I'd tried to find it at home,
but though Katherine had been a good wife, I could never give all
of myself to her, nor accept everything she offered to
give."
Katherine . Her name had been Katherine.
"She wanted me to stay home that night.
Her parents were visiting, to celebrate the announcement of the
child, but they'd been there a month and I desperately needed to
get away. Katherine followed me up the stairs, begging me to stay.
She grabbed my arm to stop me and I yanked it back." He jerked his
arm, as if reliving the moment. "She lost her balance and fell
backward. I tried to grab her," he reached out, trancelike, "but
she pulled me with her. We fell. All I could hear through the pain
was the thump of our bodies and the crunch of breaking bones, until
we landed on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.
"When I opened my eyes, Katherine was
dead. I knew it. I don't know how long I was unconscious, how long
her parents and the servants stood over us. I looked up at her
mother, standing there, sobbing. The last thing I remember was the
pure venom in her voice as she cursed me. 'May your soul know no
peace, Jared Elliott, until you give up your existence in the name
of love.' I have wandered the earth ever since."
CHAPTER SIX
Jared finally dragged his
gaze back to hers, braced for the disgust, the revulsion he knew
would be in her eyes. But all her eyes held were shimmering tears.
And
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