smiled a real smile, a boy’s smile, a warm and wide true smile at me.
For a moment as long as a crush, our eyes locked. My heart was pounding. I struggled to say or do something—anything!—to keep him looking at me like that. (Invite him over to make fudge? Throw a Frisbee? Ask to see hisbaby pictures?) But Will unfolded himself, reached his height of six feet four inches and loped silently out of the room.
At home, trauma was waiting.
My mother was holding a letter in her hand, staring at it as if it were a bomb. “What’s wrong, Mom?” I said, frantic, thinking death, dismemberment, fatal disease, the relatives in Ohio.…
“Your father’s high school reunion,” said my mother bleakly. “He wants to go. He can’t wait to go. I have to send in our acceptance.”
“Oh, but, Mom! That’ll be such fun. Even I can’t wait for my high school reunion and I’m not even a senior. It’ll be such fun to find out what happened to everybody. Whether they got what they hoped for. Whether our class had anybody famous in it. If the Most Likely to Succeed really did. Oooooh, Mom, you’ll have a great time.”
My mother flopped onto the couch and drooped all over the throw pillows.
“No, huh?” I said. “Why not?”
She shrugged, getting looser and floppier and more depressed all over the sofa. My brother’s dumb lecture on Mother and Daddy’s marriage came back to me. “Because of Ellen?” I said dubiously.
She leaped to her feet. “Kelly, what made you think of Ellen? Does Daddy talk about her? Why did you think of Ellen so quickly? How do you even know about Ellen? What is there to know?”
She was pale. She ran her tongue over her lips and I thought, Park was right! She’s afraid of Ellen. “Because Daddy talks about her now and then when he’s telling stories about when he was a boy,” I said, trying to be casual. “That’s all.”
Mother shivered and sat down again.
“Oh, Mother, Ellen’s probably fat and repulsive. Has five kids who are all delinquents. Thinks a big day is making instant chocolate pudding.”
“No, she isn’t.” An involuntary shudder rippled over my mother’s face and body. “Ellen already got her reunion invitation. She wrote to your father. She enclosed a photograph. She wants us to get together before the reunion.”
“So what’s she like? Can I see the photograph?”
My mother’s smile was forced. “She’s beautiful. Looks ten years younger than she is. And you can’t see it. Your father has the letter and the photograph with him.”
“With him? You don’t mean in his wallet?”
“Maybe not in his wallet, but he didn’t leave it behind.”
I sat down next to her. For the first time in my life, she leaned on me. “I know how silly this is,” she said. I felt like a woman friend, someone on her side, not her little girl. It felt wonderful, even though she was scaring me. “Ellen isstunning. She always was. And he was so excited to hear from her.”
“Do you have the letter memorized? Quote it to me. I want to know what we’re up against.”
“Up against?” said my mother. “Kelly, I’ve felt up against Ellen for a long time. If I gain five pounds, I know Ellen would never lose her figure. If I forget the punch line to a joke, I know Ellen would tell more sophisticated jokes and never forget the ending. If I get lazy for a few weeks, I know Ellen has endless energy and everything she does is brilliant and makes money and headlines.”
I giggled. “I feel that way about half my class.”
The doors were flung open. In came Wendy and Parker.
Mother ceased to be a woman friend and became a mom after school, offering Oreo cookies and ginger ale while the children chattered. Passing out napkins. Listening.
“So you got suspended for two days,” said Parker to Wendy. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“It is the end. I don’t like to be in trouble. I just like to make a splash.”
At my expense, I thought. I willed Wendy to look
For a moment as long as a crush, our eyes locked. My heart was pounding. I struggled to say or do something—anything!—to keep him looking at me like that. (Invite him over to make fudge? Throw a Frisbee? Ask to see hisbaby pictures?) But Will unfolded himself, reached his height of six feet four inches and loped silently out of the room.
At home, trauma was waiting.
My mother was holding a letter in her hand, staring at it as if it were a bomb. “What’s wrong, Mom?” I said, frantic, thinking death, dismemberment, fatal disease, the relatives in Ohio.…
“Your father’s high school reunion,” said my mother bleakly. “He wants to go. He can’t wait to go. I have to send in our acceptance.”
“Oh, but, Mom! That’ll be such fun. Even I can’t wait for my high school reunion and I’m not even a senior. It’ll be such fun to find out what happened to everybody. Whether they got what they hoped for. Whether our class had anybody famous in it. If the Most Likely to Succeed really did. Oooooh, Mom, you’ll have a great time.”
My mother flopped onto the couch and drooped all over the throw pillows.
“No, huh?” I said. “Why not?”
She shrugged, getting looser and floppier and more depressed all over the sofa. My brother’s dumb lecture on Mother and Daddy’s marriage came back to me. “Because of Ellen?” I said dubiously.
She leaped to her feet. “Kelly, what made you think of Ellen? Does Daddy talk about her? Why did you think of Ellen so quickly? How do you even know about Ellen? What is there to know?”
She was pale. She ran her tongue over her lips and I thought, Park was right! She’s afraid of Ellen. “Because Daddy talks about her now and then when he’s telling stories about when he was a boy,” I said, trying to be casual. “That’s all.”
Mother shivered and sat down again.
“Oh, Mother, Ellen’s probably fat and repulsive. Has five kids who are all delinquents. Thinks a big day is making instant chocolate pudding.”
“No, she isn’t.” An involuntary shudder rippled over my mother’s face and body. “Ellen already got her reunion invitation. She wrote to your father. She enclosed a photograph. She wants us to get together before the reunion.”
“So what’s she like? Can I see the photograph?”
My mother’s smile was forced. “She’s beautiful. Looks ten years younger than she is. And you can’t see it. Your father has the letter and the photograph with him.”
“With him? You don’t mean in his wallet?”
“Maybe not in his wallet, but he didn’t leave it behind.”
I sat down next to her. For the first time in my life, she leaned on me. “I know how silly this is,” she said. I felt like a woman friend, someone on her side, not her little girl. It felt wonderful, even though she was scaring me. “Ellen isstunning. She always was. And he was so excited to hear from her.”
“Do you have the letter memorized? Quote it to me. I want to know what we’re up against.”
“Up against?” said my mother. “Kelly, I’ve felt up against Ellen for a long time. If I gain five pounds, I know Ellen would never lose her figure. If I forget the punch line to a joke, I know Ellen would tell more sophisticated jokes and never forget the ending. If I get lazy for a few weeks, I know Ellen has endless energy and everything she does is brilliant and makes money and headlines.”
I giggled. “I feel that way about half my class.”
The doors were flung open. In came Wendy and Parker.
Mother ceased to be a woman friend and became a mom after school, offering Oreo cookies and ginger ale while the children chattered. Passing out napkins. Listening.
“So you got suspended for two days,” said Parker to Wendy. “It’s not the end of the world.”
“It is the end. I don’t like to be in trouble. I just like to make a splash.”
At my expense, I thought. I willed Wendy to look
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