snout under my pillow and fell asleep with a sigh.
Lippy stood on his metal perch, clucking softly to himself. I lifted the perch from the box and set it up in the corner by the bed.
I felt so happy to have my pets with me. I didnât stop to think about the trouble I was in.
âHey, lookââ Crench cried. He pointed to the floor of the crate. âBig B, thereâs a note from your parents in the box.â
He reached down and pulled up a sheet of paper. âHey, whatâs this green gloppy stuff all over it?â Crench switched the paper to his left hand. His right hand was covered in green-and-yellow goop.
Feenman laughed. âItâs bird doo!â
âHuh?â Crench smelled his hand. âWhoa.â He looked from hand to hand. They were both covered in the thick, sticky glop.
Feenman tossed back his head and let out a long hee-haw. âBird plop alert!â he shouted.
Crench moved fast. âShake hands,â he said. He grabbed Feenmanâs hand and shook it.
âYuccck.â Feenman made a sick face. Now he had bird plop oozing over his hand.
Crench wiped both of his hands on Feenmanâs jacket sleeve. âAll clean,â he said, holding up his hands.
âYou jerk!â Feenman cried. He wiped his hand across Crenchâs cheek. Now Crench had bird doo smeared all over his face.
He raised the gloppy letter, pushed it into Feenmanâs face, and wiped it around. Feenman angrily grabbed the letter, and it ripped into two pieces. He stuffed the gloppy pieces into Crenchâs mouth.
What did I tell you? These are fun-loving dudes!
âUhâ¦guys,â I said. âGuys, what does the letter say?â
They turned to me. They were both covered in bird plop. Green-and-yellow goop on their faces, their hands, their school uniforms. Crench was wiping it off his lips.
âIâll try to read it,â Feenman said. He pulled the gloppy letter from Crenchâs mouth. He put the two pieces together. âUhâ¦it says your parents have to go away for a long time, and they couldnât find anyone to take care of your pets. If you donât take Gassy, heâll have to go to the pound. And the parrot will have to go to a zoo.â
âNo way!â I cried. âIâll take care of them. Theyâre my sweeties!â
âBut, Bernie, you canât,â Crench said, spitting bird doo off his lips. âYouâll be in major trouble.â
I stared at him. âHuh? Me?â
He wiped green glop from his hair. âYeah. You know the school rule: No Pets Allowed.â
Oh, wow. No Pets Allowed.
A chill ran down my back. Crench was right. No Pets Allowed.
âIf Mrs. Heinie catches youâ¦,â Crench said. He made a slicing motion across his neck. âYouâre dead meat.â
Crench was right again. If Mrs. Heinie found out I was hiding my animals in my roomâand told Headmaster Upchuckâit would be âBye-bye, Bernie.â
Iâm in major trouble, I thought. Unless I can find a way to hide Lippy and Gassy, Iâll be on the next bus home.
I sat down on my bed beside my snoring bulldog and started to think. I had to protect my pets. But how could I hide them? How?
Feenman and Crench dragged the crate from my room. Then they headed for the showers.
And exactly two seconds later, I heard the click of Mrs. Heinieâs shoes in the hall. She was heading for my room!
âQuiet, Lippy,â I whispered. âDonât make a sound!â
âGo bite a WALNUT! â Lippy squawked.
Mrs. Heinie stepped in and squinted at me through her thick glasses. âBernie, who were you talking to?â she asked.
Chapter 5
B USTED !
âUhâ¦who was I talking to? Myself,â I said. âIâm giving myself a pep talk. You know. To be a better student.â I stood up and shook her hand. âYouâve inspired me, Mrs. Heinie. Youâve inspired me to work
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