The Great Smelling Bee by R.L. Stine Page B

snout under my pillow and fell asleep with a sigh.
    Lippy stood on his metal perch, clucking softly to himself. I lifted the perch from the box and set it up in the corner by the bed.
    I felt so happy to have my pets with me. I didn’t stop to think about the trouble I was in.
    â€œHey, look—” Crench cried. He pointed to the floor of the crate. “Big B, there’s a note from your parents in the box.”
    He reached down and pulled up a sheet of paper. “Hey, what’s this green gloppy stuff all over it?” Crench switched the paper to his left hand. His right hand was covered in green-and-yellow goop.
    Feenman laughed. “It’s bird doo!”
    â€œHuh?” Crench smelled his hand. “Whoa.” He looked from hand to hand. They were both covered in the thick, sticky glop.
    Feenman tossed back his head and let out a long hee-haw. “Bird plop alert!” he shouted.
    Crench moved fast. “Shake hands,” he said. He grabbed Feenman’s hand and shook it.
    â€œYuccck.” Feenman made a sick face. Now he had bird plop oozing over his hand.
    Crench wiped both of his hands on Feenman’s jacket sleeve. “All clean,” he said, holding up his hands.
    â€œYou jerk!” Feenman cried. He wiped his hand across Crench’s cheek. Now Crench had bird doo smeared all over his face.

    He raised the gloppy letter, pushed it into Feenman’s face, and wiped it around. Feenman angrily grabbed the letter, and it ripped into two pieces. He stuffed the gloppy pieces into Crench’s mouth.
    What did I tell you? These are fun-loving dudes!
    â€œUh…guys,” I said. “Guys, what does the letter say?”
    They turned to me. They were both covered in bird plop. Green-and-yellow goop on their faces, their hands, their school uniforms. Crench was wiping it off his lips.
    â€œI’ll try to read it,” Feenman said. He pulled the gloppy letter from Crench’s mouth. He put the two pieces together. “Uh…it says your parents have to go away for a long time, and they couldn’t find anyone to take care of your pets. If you don’t take Gassy, he’ll have to go to the pound. And the parrot will have to go to a zoo.”
    â€œNo way!” I cried. “I’ll take care of them. They’re my sweeties!”
    â€œBut, Bernie, you can’t,” Crench said, spitting bird doo off his lips. “You’ll be in major trouble.”
    I stared at him. “Huh? Me?”
    He wiped green glop from his hair. “Yeah. You know the school rule: No Pets Allowed.”
    Oh, wow. No Pets Allowed.
    A chill ran down my back. Crench was right. No Pets Allowed.
    â€œIf Mrs. Heinie catches you…,” Crench said. He made a slicing motion across his neck. “You’re dead meat.”
    Crench was right again. If Mrs. Heinie found out I was hiding my animals in my room—and told Headmaster Upchuck—it would be “Bye-bye, Bernie.”
    I’m in major trouble, I thought. Unless I can find a way to hide Lippy and Gassy, I’ll be on the next bus home.
    I sat down on my bed beside my snoring bulldog and started to think. I had to protect my pets. But how could I hide them? How?
    Feenman and Crench dragged the crate from my room. Then they headed for the showers.
    And exactly two seconds later, I heard the click of Mrs. Heinie’s shoes in the hall. She was heading for my room!
    â€œQuiet, Lippy,” I whispered. “Don’t make a sound!”
    â€œGo bite a WALNUT! ” Lippy squawked.
    Mrs. Heinie stepped in and squinted at me through her thick glasses. “Bernie, who were you talking to?” she asked.

Chapter 5
B USTED !
    â€œUh…who was I talking to? Myself,” I said. “I’m giving myself a pep talk. You know. To be a better student.” I stood up and shook her hand. “You’ve inspired me, Mrs. Heinie. You’ve inspired me to work