‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but your lips were looking so dry and uncomfortable.’
‘Where are they?’ Ellie knew she sounded frightened but she
was,
dammit. She was alone apart from a nurse she didn’t recognise. Was her baby alone too? Feeling unprotected and vulnerable?
‘It’s two a.m., Ellie,’ the nurse said kindly. ‘They’ll be asleep. I expect your baby is safely tucked up in her crib and that Max is sprawled in the armchair beside her.’ Her voice took on a wistful note. ‘Or maybe he’s holding her right now. He won’t let anyone else feed her, you know.’
Ellie stared at the nurse. No, she didn’t know and she didn’t understand. ‘But…it’s been days,’ she said finally, her voice wobbling. ‘Days and days.’
‘I know.’ The nurse, an attractive blonde with a name tag that said ‘Tori’, took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Then she smiled at Ellie. ‘We were all gobsmacked to hear that Max had got married secretly, but you know what’s blown everyone away even more?’
Ellie shook her head slowly. So it hadn’t been a dream. She had to pretend she was Max’s wife for the moment. Oh…Lord!
‘What an amazing father he’s turned out to be,’ Tori said. ‘He was wearing his leathers when he came in with you, do you remember?’
Ellie found herself smiling.
Oh…yes…
‘I don’t think he got out of them for the next thirty-six hours. He was sitting up there in the PICU doing kangaroo care. I’ve got a friend who works in there and she said that none of them could take their eyes offhim. There he was, in those mega-masculine clothes, with a newborn baby skin to skin with him on his chest. Tucked under that leather jacket. Can you imagine?’
Ellie could. She remembered that jacket. And that chest. Maybe her contact had been very brief but she would never forget how solid it had felt. How safe. There’d been layers of clothes over it, of course but, oddly, it was all too easy to imagine how it might feel skin to skin. It gave her a sharp twinge in a painful place deep down in her belly. Painful but far from unpleasant.
She went back to picturing her baby and she knew how protected she would have felt and it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She loved Max for what he’d done for her daughter. She would never, ever be able to thank him enough.
‘He didn’t have to keep it up for so long,’ Tori continued as she poured water from a jug on the bedside table into a cup that had a built-in straw. ‘A few hours at a time would probably have been enough to get all the medical benefits for the baby but he wouldn’t leave her. He got his shifts in Emergency covered and stuff brought in from home. He’s practically moved in.’ Tori was smiling widely now. ‘Not that any of the nursing staff are complaining, mind you. Would you like a drink of water?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘Just a sip to start with. Your tummy hasn’t had anything in it for a while and I don’t want you throwing up.’
Ellie sipped the cool water and it tasted wonderful.She drew in a deep breath. And then another. It felt easier.
‘Any pain?’ Tori queried.
Ellie thought about it. That was better too. ‘I feel good…I think. Can I sit up? Or go to the loo or something?’
‘You don’t need to. You’ve still got a catheter in. I think they’re planning on taking it out tomorrow and you might be able to have a shower, even. Word is that if you stay as stable as you’ve been today, they’ll shift you out of ICU and onto the ward. The maternity ward,’ the nurse added with another smile. ‘You can have your baby right beside you. How good will that be?’
But Ellie was frowning as she remembered something Tori had said earlier. ‘Why is she in the PICU? Max said she was fine.’ Her mouth trembled. ‘He said she was p-perfect.’
‘She is,’ Tori assured her hurriedly. ‘On the small side, but there’s nothing wrong with her. She went there initially because
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