lately,” she explained vaguely, fishing the tip of her silk scarf out of her margarita. Fifty-three years old, a brilliant scientist, and she still couldn’t get the knack of wearing scarves.
“What’s going on, honey?” Shirley asked.
“Troubles with Faraday?” Alice suggested.
“Oh, Faraday’s fine,” Marilyn replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“I like Faraday!” Alice stoutly declared. “He’s handsome, literate, charming.”
“Beautiful manners,” Faye added.
“And I, a ‘mature’ woman, should consider myself lucky to have a beau,” Marilyn said, “even though he can’t keep an erection longer than thirty seconds.”
“Sex isn’t everything,” Alice reminded her. Alice’s beau, Gideon, was recovering from an operation on his prostate.
“No one knows that better than I do!” Marilyn shot back. “I’ve only had sex with three men in my life, and it wasn’t delicious with my husband and it’s not delicious with Faraday.” She sighed. “I just wish I could get him to talk about it. I’d love to have him see a doctor. Or try Viagra.”
Faye interjected, “I read a statistic just last week, saying the American public spends more money on Viagra than it does on Alzheimer research.”
“You know what that means,” Alice told her. “In a few more years, all the men will have erections, but they won’t remember what they’re for!”
Laughing, Shirley leaned forward, lowering her voice. “That reminds me of a joke. Ancient Chinese proverb: If man with erection enter airplane door sideways, he going to Bangkok.”
Faye grinned. “Mrs. Clinton went to China with her husband, and at the state dinner she was seated next to the president of China. She turned to him and asked, ‘Do you have elections here?’ He smiled and replied, ‘Yes, every morning.’ ”
“Girl,” Alice said, “that joke is so old!”
The waiter brought their entrées.
“Bon appétit!”
Faye said to the others, and they all picked up their forks.
After a few moments of pleasurable devotion to their food, Alice announced, “Hey, we set a new record. We got to the subject of sex before our dinners arrived!”
“Well, it
is
the most fascinating subject in the world,” Shirley said.
“Really?” Faye asked. “I disagree.”
“Then you’re depressed,” Shirley announced.
“Oh, come on!” Faye laughed.
“I’m serious. I don’t care how old you are, if you lose your sexual desire, you’re lacking something. It’s like missing a vitamin in your diet.”
Alice snorted. “Don’t exaggerate, Shirley! Surely sexual desire is a personal thing. Some people just enjoy it more than others.”
Marilyn weighed in with her scientific point of view. “All sorts of variables must apply. One’s age, for example. Nature wired us to crave sex the most during our reproductive years, so the species will propagate. So as we grow older and lose our reproductive capacity, our hormone levels flag—”
“Not to mention certain male reproductive parts,” Alice added wryly.
Shirley shot back, “Nature
also
arranged things so that when we have sex, endorphins are released in our bodies, making us feel better, happier, and calmer. This, in turn, has a beneficial effect on our bodies.”
“Other things release endorphins, too,” Faye argued. “Nothing could make me happier than holding my granddaughter! Work can make me feel pretty euphoric, too. Not to mention chocolate!”
“But chocolate makes you gain weight,” Shirley pointed out, “and sex doesn’t.”
Faye’s face fell. “I know I’ve gained weight—” She smoothed her hands down over the layers of pastel silk that sheltered her rounded, buxom body.
“Hey!” Alice interrupted, leaning forward to address Shirley. “Back off! We’ve been over this ground before. Not everyone has an irritating little buzz-saw mosquito metabolism like you, Shirley! Since I retired from TransWorld, I’ve gone from a size eighteen to a size
“What’s going on, honey?” Shirley asked.
“Troubles with Faraday?” Alice suggested.
“Oh, Faraday’s fine,” Marilyn replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“I like Faraday!” Alice stoutly declared. “He’s handsome, literate, charming.”
“Beautiful manners,” Faye added.
“And I, a ‘mature’ woman, should consider myself lucky to have a beau,” Marilyn said, “even though he can’t keep an erection longer than thirty seconds.”
“Sex isn’t everything,” Alice reminded her. Alice’s beau, Gideon, was recovering from an operation on his prostate.
“No one knows that better than I do!” Marilyn shot back. “I’ve only had sex with three men in my life, and it wasn’t delicious with my husband and it’s not delicious with Faraday.” She sighed. “I just wish I could get him to talk about it. I’d love to have him see a doctor. Or try Viagra.”
Faye interjected, “I read a statistic just last week, saying the American public spends more money on Viagra than it does on Alzheimer research.”
“You know what that means,” Alice told her. “In a few more years, all the men will have erections, but they won’t remember what they’re for!”
Laughing, Shirley leaned forward, lowering her voice. “That reminds me of a joke. Ancient Chinese proverb: If man with erection enter airplane door sideways, he going to Bangkok.”
Faye grinned. “Mrs. Clinton went to China with her husband, and at the state dinner she was seated next to the president of China. She turned to him and asked, ‘Do you have elections here?’ He smiled and replied, ‘Yes, every morning.’ ”
“Girl,” Alice said, “that joke is so old!”
The waiter brought their entrées.
“Bon appétit!”
Faye said to the others, and they all picked up their forks.
After a few moments of pleasurable devotion to their food, Alice announced, “Hey, we set a new record. We got to the subject of sex before our dinners arrived!”
“Well, it
is
the most fascinating subject in the world,” Shirley said.
“Really?” Faye asked. “I disagree.”
“Then you’re depressed,” Shirley announced.
“Oh, come on!” Faye laughed.
“I’m serious. I don’t care how old you are, if you lose your sexual desire, you’re lacking something. It’s like missing a vitamin in your diet.”
Alice snorted. “Don’t exaggerate, Shirley! Surely sexual desire is a personal thing. Some people just enjoy it more than others.”
Marilyn weighed in with her scientific point of view. “All sorts of variables must apply. One’s age, for example. Nature wired us to crave sex the most during our reproductive years, so the species will propagate. So as we grow older and lose our reproductive capacity, our hormone levels flag—”
“Not to mention certain male reproductive parts,” Alice added wryly.
Shirley shot back, “Nature
also
arranged things so that when we have sex, endorphins are released in our bodies, making us feel better, happier, and calmer. This, in turn, has a beneficial effect on our bodies.”
“Other things release endorphins, too,” Faye argued. “Nothing could make me happier than holding my granddaughter! Work can make me feel pretty euphoric, too. Not to mention chocolate!”
“But chocolate makes you gain weight,” Shirley pointed out, “and sex doesn’t.”
Faye’s face fell. “I know I’ve gained weight—” She smoothed her hands down over the layers of pastel silk that sheltered her rounded, buxom body.
“Hey!” Alice interrupted, leaning forward to address Shirley. “Back off! We’ve been over this ground before. Not everyone has an irritating little buzz-saw mosquito metabolism like you, Shirley! Since I retired from TransWorld, I’ve gone from a size eighteen to a size
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