The Insect Rosary by Sarah Armstrong Page B

confident, so self-contained. She didn’t really need Nancy at all.
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    In the end they had to go to bed without seeing Donn and having to commiserate with him. The longer he didn’t come back in the house, the more Nancy thought that maybe the shot wasn’t for the dog. What if he’d just killed himself and they were all just sitting around drinking wine? What if he’d killed his dog and they were all sitting around drinking wine?
    She lay awake as Elian slept, as quiet and contained as he ever got. Hurley was curled up on the fold out bed at the foot of theirs. She crept downstairs, automatically avoiding the creaky midpoint of the steps.
    In the parlour she was disappointed to see Agatha was up, too. She was talking to herself. With horror Nancy realised that she was praying, her eyes closed and hands pressed together. Nancy pulled the door to again and waited outside. Maybe she should just go to bed. Or maybe Agatha realised she was there and would finish. She couldn’t decide if it would be worse to wait or to leave. She lingered, deciding to give her a couple of minutes. The murmuring stopped and she peered through a slight gap. Agatha was looking at her.
    She opened the door fully and closed it behind her. ‘I was thinking, before you go, you’ll have to show me how to work the immersion heater.’
    â€˜I will.’
    â€˜We only have a shower at home. One click and it’s heated, two minutes and you’re done. They’re not comfortable with baths yet. They see it as lying in your own dirt.’
    Agatha tutted. Nancy wished she hadn’t said it.
    â€˜Do you want any tea?’ asked Nancy.
    â€˜Not at this time of night.’
    The fire was nearly out, just a few embers glowing at the bottom. Nancy passed through to the kitchen and got a glass of water before joining Agatha at the fire.
    â€˜All ready for your trip?’
    Agatha nodded, staring into the end of the fire. ‘I’ll pray for you.’
    It sounded like a threat. Nancy wasn’t sure how she should respond.
    â€˜Thank you.’
    They sat quietly for a while.
    â€˜Did you ever regret leaving the convent?’
    â€˜I didn’t have a choice. Donn needed someone to keep house until he was married. I did think he would get married but God had other plans. It’s not for me to question them.’
    Nancy thought about the uncles and aunts who had escaped the house. Some of them had escaped the country too, but not Beth, Donn and Agatha. One other sister, Shona, had left home to keep house for a second cousin, a priest in Cork. She was there for eight months before she stole the week’s collection and ran off to Canada with a married man. Agatha didn’t speak to her, but Nancy’s mother wrote. She’d visited her a couple of years ago and then Nancy on her way back. Others had gone to Australia, one to London. One uncle, Ryan, had just gone. No-one seemed to know where he was, her mum said.
    Nancy realised that Agatha was looking at her.
    â€˜I thought you may become a nun.’
    â€˜I never really considered it.’ Nancy shifted in her seat and drank most of her water.
    â€˜Maybe you should have. I think it would have suited you.’
    Nancy smiled awkwardly.
    Agatha shook her head. ‘That sister of yours, I pray for her most of all. Those poor wee bastards. Condemned to –’ Agatha threw her hands in the air.
    She meant Bernie. Nancy remembered how they always called their aunt Sister Agatha, but only behind her back. When had they stopped that?
    â€˜I’d better get up to bed,’ said Nancy.
    Agatha looked exhausted all of a sudden. ‘Look after Donn, won’t you?’
    â€˜I will.’
    Nancy put her mug on the table and turned around to leave.
    â€˜Promise me.’
    â€˜I promise.’
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    She didn’t hear Donn come in, but she heard him climb the stairs and close the door to his bedroom. His steps sounded