me? Do you think I can make some kind of meaningful “profile” of you? Could you, or someone, do you think, make such a profile of me from the questions I have asked you? If we had these profiles, could we not relax and let them do the work of living for us and take our true selves on a long vacation? Isn’t it the case that certain people are already on to this trick of posting their profiles on duty while simultaneously living private underground lives? Can you recognize these profile soldiers by a certain dismissive calm, a kind of gentle smile about them when others are getting petty? Is in fact the character of the profile-façade person not that which is called wise? And is the person who is congruent with his daily self and who has no remote self not regarded as shallow?
DO YOU HAVE THE locked and loaded feeling today, or the loose and dissolute? Would you molest a girl in a hospital room wearing a candy-striper outfit? Do you know precisely what a candy striper is or was? Have you ever seen a pot made of bark? What can you tell me about interstitial braces and dimensional stability?
Do you use the word parameter colloquially, and do you run with people who do? Do you understand the physics of the bullwhip? If someone proposed “alternatives to square dancing,” what would you think he was talking about? Will you wear underwear previously worn by someone else? If you were faced with having a collection of bird nests or car fenders, which would you take? Have you ever heard the phrase, at least once used legally, “mental cruelty to a chicken”? Is life better or not better now that for the most part we live it without a daily concern with ramparts? Do you think that barbarism in the world continues apacebut has shifted into subtler forms? Do you credit that there is a band called the Unhung Heroes with a hit song entitled “Look What I Found on the Ground to Mate With”? Have you handled fence staples? Do you know exactly when tinfoil stopped being tin, if it ever actually was tin? Have you ever with pleasure disassembled a perfectly good working piece of electronic gear and put it back together in a deliberately nonworking configuration? Do you like to have a wooden baseball bat around? Have you drunk wares produced from a still in the woods while standing near the still? If you have drunk from a still, was the still operator present or not? Do you like the notion of elasticity, with its princely resilience, or do you find something soft and undependable down in it? Is there anything in particular—above other things—that makes your day, or rues it?
Is there diabetes in your family? Are you scuba certified? How much will you pay to enter a strip club? If you got a puppy, do you think witnessing its puppy energy would give you yourself a little puppy energy again? Do you like to smell and feel—they’ll squeak against your fingers—brand-new automobile tires? Have you ever paid to have something eithersandblasted or gilded? Have I told you of the time my grandmother escaped the nursing home and I found her a block away on a door stoop expiring in the sun and she said to me, “What took you so long?”
Have you ever heard the phrase “to eat the either/or sandwich”? How about “chocolate and vanilla drawers”? Regulatory commission, tertiary syphilis, roundabout way of living, otiose goose, Bernard Paperhanger, pastel bloomers, doggone stubborn, stupendous city, beribboned frank, tallywhacker body, terrible, profound, large, stunted, and benign—do these things go together? How about gassated cheerleaders—the cheerleaders, say, had gassated themselves? I should say perhaps I’m a little unsteady here, but may I say instead I’m a little rocking horse here? Is the thing you notice about cheerleaders that while they do have those tight stomachs—I suppose by fashion one should say tight abs, they have no fat on their bellies—and it is arresting and interesting to see them, and this
DO YOU HAVE THE locked and loaded feeling today, or the loose and dissolute? Would you molest a girl in a hospital room wearing a candy-striper outfit? Do you know precisely what a candy striper is or was? Have you ever seen a pot made of bark? What can you tell me about interstitial braces and dimensional stability?
Do you use the word parameter colloquially, and do you run with people who do? Do you understand the physics of the bullwhip? If someone proposed “alternatives to square dancing,” what would you think he was talking about? Will you wear underwear previously worn by someone else? If you were faced with having a collection of bird nests or car fenders, which would you take? Have you ever heard the phrase, at least once used legally, “mental cruelty to a chicken”? Is life better or not better now that for the most part we live it without a daily concern with ramparts? Do you think that barbarism in the world continues apacebut has shifted into subtler forms? Do you credit that there is a band called the Unhung Heroes with a hit song entitled “Look What I Found on the Ground to Mate With”? Have you handled fence staples? Do you know exactly when tinfoil stopped being tin, if it ever actually was tin? Have you ever with pleasure disassembled a perfectly good working piece of electronic gear and put it back together in a deliberately nonworking configuration? Do you like to have a wooden baseball bat around? Have you drunk wares produced from a still in the woods while standing near the still? If you have drunk from a still, was the still operator present or not? Do you like the notion of elasticity, with its princely resilience, or do you find something soft and undependable down in it? Is there anything in particular—above other things—that makes your day, or rues it?
Is there diabetes in your family? Are you scuba certified? How much will you pay to enter a strip club? If you got a puppy, do you think witnessing its puppy energy would give you yourself a little puppy energy again? Do you like to smell and feel—they’ll squeak against your fingers—brand-new automobile tires? Have you ever paid to have something eithersandblasted or gilded? Have I told you of the time my grandmother escaped the nursing home and I found her a block away on a door stoop expiring in the sun and she said to me, “What took you so long?”
Have you ever heard the phrase “to eat the either/or sandwich”? How about “chocolate and vanilla drawers”? Regulatory commission, tertiary syphilis, roundabout way of living, otiose goose, Bernard Paperhanger, pastel bloomers, doggone stubborn, stupendous city, beribboned frank, tallywhacker body, terrible, profound, large, stunted, and benign—do these things go together? How about gassated cheerleaders—the cheerleaders, say, had gassated themselves? I should say perhaps I’m a little unsteady here, but may I say instead I’m a little rocking horse here? Is the thing you notice about cheerleaders that while they do have those tight stomachs—I suppose by fashion one should say tight abs, they have no fat on their bellies—and it is arresting and interesting to see them, and this
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