hands for the railings.” She gave him back the gum, along with a canister of talcum powder; a box of dog biscuits; a net bag of something dried and black and twisty, like fungus; and two test tubes from a tray on her lab table.
“When I did Pepper in the kitchen sink, she kept jumping out, and there was such a mess afterward, you wouldn’t believe. I think we’d better do this in the bathtub.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “I have to take a bath?”
“Of course you have to take a bath. What did you think?”
“I guess I didn’t really think,” I mumbled. Hubert was the color of cherry bubblegum, he was so embarrassed.
“Come on,” said Jody, limping to the stairs.“We haven’t got all day. My mother is going to be home before you know it.”
“Oh, shoot,” said Hubert, looking at his watch while trying to keep the cups upright, “it’s really late, Billie. You better get moving.”
I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?
“Hubert, you have to wait up here,” I ordered, taking his armload of ingredients, which vanished immediately.
Jody went down the stairs sideways, like a baby, and she only stepped on Pepper’s tail once.
18 • Chowder Bath
A s with most great creations of science, from the planet Earth to the human body, this formula is mostly water.”
She turned on the hot-water tap with a flick of her wrist. The water poured into the tub,splashing on the marble veins, making them look alive. She dumped the contents of both test tubes under the flow. The water turned yellow immediately. She crumbled bits of the fungus and watched as they absorbed water and doubled in size. She shook in some talcum powder and then some more.
“I’ve never made a big batch before.” She gave me a weak smile. “I’m not really sure of the quantities.” She turned off the water. “I guess it should be too strong rather than too weak. We wouldn’t want you to look wispy or fuzzy or anything.”
She put several dog biscuits on the floor.
“Help crush these,” she commanded. Pepper was going crazy, but Jody kept shooing her back. I did a little dance in my sneakers, and Jody rolled her cast back and forth across the floor until the biscuits were chunks and crumbs. We scooped them up and dumped them into the tub. Pepper licked the traces off the tiles.
“Now the gum.” She took fistfuls of gum wads and squeezed them over the mixture. Only the tiniest drops of juice dribbled out. Then she tossed the sticky lumps in with everything else. She rolled up a
Vogue
magazine that was lying on the floor and used it to stir with big, swishing turns.
“Oh, good, it’s starting to thicken. Now take your clothes off.”
I hesitated.
“Your body has to be completely covered,” she said firmly. “You have to be immersed. You should have seen me doing Pepper. She kept slithering away from me, but she was invisible so she was hard to catch.”
“So I really have to get into that and slop around? Like a snail in butter?”
Jody laughed.
“Uh-huh. Like a snail in butter. That’s a good one.” She saluted and limped into the hall. “I’ll be waiting outside,” she called as she closed the door.
I looked down at the tub full of chowder. I looked down at where I should be. I pushed off my sneakers without untying them, thinking how that drives my mother crazy. I peeled off my socks.
I unstrapped my watch and tucked it into the pocket of my jeans. I could see its face for the first time since this morning. Yikes! It was after two o’clock. Time was galloping by. Sweatshirt, jeans, and underwear reappeared as they flew from my hands into a rumpled pile beside the toilet.
It was so weird to be naked in a stranger’s house with Hubert creaking around in the attic above me.
As much as I did not want to, I dipped my left foot into the soup. It was warm. I stepped in with my other foot. It was like standing in the squishy kind of mud that lives at the bottoms of lakes.
“Five, four, three, two,
“When I did Pepper in the kitchen sink, she kept jumping out, and there was such a mess afterward, you wouldn’t believe. I think we’d better do this in the bathtub.”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “I have to take a bath?”
“Of course you have to take a bath. What did you think?”
“I guess I didn’t really think,” I mumbled. Hubert was the color of cherry bubblegum, he was so embarrassed.
“Come on,” said Jody, limping to the stairs.“We haven’t got all day. My mother is going to be home before you know it.”
“Oh, shoot,” said Hubert, looking at his watch while trying to keep the cups upright, “it’s really late, Billie. You better get moving.”
I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?
“Hubert, you have to wait up here,” I ordered, taking his armload of ingredients, which vanished immediately.
Jody went down the stairs sideways, like a baby, and she only stepped on Pepper’s tail once.
18 • Chowder Bath
A s with most great creations of science, from the planet Earth to the human body, this formula is mostly water.”
She turned on the hot-water tap with a flick of her wrist. The water poured into the tub,splashing on the marble veins, making them look alive. She dumped the contents of both test tubes under the flow. The water turned yellow immediately. She crumbled bits of the fungus and watched as they absorbed water and doubled in size. She shook in some talcum powder and then some more.
“I’ve never made a big batch before.” She gave me a weak smile. “I’m not really sure of the quantities.” She turned off the water. “I guess it should be too strong rather than too weak. We wouldn’t want you to look wispy or fuzzy or anything.”
She put several dog biscuits on the floor.
“Help crush these,” she commanded. Pepper was going crazy, but Jody kept shooing her back. I did a little dance in my sneakers, and Jody rolled her cast back and forth across the floor until the biscuits were chunks and crumbs. We scooped them up and dumped them into the tub. Pepper licked the traces off the tiles.
“Now the gum.” She took fistfuls of gum wads and squeezed them over the mixture. Only the tiniest drops of juice dribbled out. Then she tossed the sticky lumps in with everything else. She rolled up a
Vogue
magazine that was lying on the floor and used it to stir with big, swishing turns.
“Oh, good, it’s starting to thicken. Now take your clothes off.”
I hesitated.
“Your body has to be completely covered,” she said firmly. “You have to be immersed. You should have seen me doing Pepper. She kept slithering away from me, but she was invisible so she was hard to catch.”
“So I really have to get into that and slop around? Like a snail in butter?”
Jody laughed.
“Uh-huh. Like a snail in butter. That’s a good one.” She saluted and limped into the hall. “I’ll be waiting outside,” she called as she closed the door.
I looked down at the tub full of chowder. I looked down at where I should be. I pushed off my sneakers without untying them, thinking how that drives my mother crazy. I peeled off my socks.
I unstrapped my watch and tucked it into the pocket of my jeans. I could see its face for the first time since this morning. Yikes! It was after two o’clock. Time was galloping by. Sweatshirt, jeans, and underwear reappeared as they flew from my hands into a rumpled pile beside the toilet.
It was so weird to be naked in a stranger’s house with Hubert creaking around in the attic above me.
As much as I did not want to, I dipped my left foot into the soup. It was warm. I stepped in with my other foot. It was like standing in the squishy kind of mud that lives at the bottoms of lakes.
“Five, four, three, two,
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